Make the PT Cruiser illegal

Make the PT Cruiser illegal

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Lucas Stoffel started this petition to Department of transportation

Chrysler’s PT Cruiser was introduced in 2000 and has been terrorizing the roads of America ever since. It is the ugliest car ever to be sold in America. This is not an opinion, this is truly factual. Bryan Edward Nesbitt is responsible for styling this turd on wheels, and violating our eyes with its horrid features. This man must have been on very hard drugs to have imagined that anyone should own a car this hideous. There is not one single redeeming quality of the PT Cruiser, not in its exterior styling, not in its mechanical design, not in its cost to own, not anything at all. It is an ugly, slow, unreliable dumpster fire of a car, that is legally considered a pickup truck to sheepishly escape EPA regulations on fuel economy, and emissions. This disgrace of an automobile is truly wretched, in every imaginable way. It is hated by all people with good taste. This car is sinfully unattractive, and should be removed from the road immediately. As if it’s offensive looks weren’t enough, owners were subjected to constant software updates. Imagine a car that needs a software update as often as your smartphone, but skipping these updates won’t just cost you cool mmm some obscure emoticons. They were to fix issues such as poor transmission shifting, and other essentials. As if that wasn’t enough, the NHTSA has reported poor results from crash safety tests of the PT Cruiser. So; it’s unattractive, unreliable, unsafe, inefficient, and all around abysmal.

You may be wondering, how do we solve this first world problem? It’s simple; I have a three step process to fix this.

Step one: Make the PT Cruiser unregisterable. The DOT has the power to do this, and should exercise it as soon as possible. 

Step two: The FCA (Fiat Chrysler association) publicly apologizes for producing this monstrosity for an entire decade.

Step three: Bryan Edward Nesbitt sends me an authentic, signed personal apology letter for designing a car so poorly. 

After all of this, the world will truly be a better place. I am willing to forgive both Chrysler and Bryan Edward Nesbitt for creating this awful curse, but only under these terms. Thank you for your time and support.

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