This is a petition for David’s Bridal to give me a free limited edition Busch Beer x David’s Bridal dress. I have been a loyal employee for 2 years and humbly ask the company bestows a copy of the *iconic* camouflage gowns upon me. This dress is a piece of history and I would be honored to proudly carry on the company’s legacy of making women’s dreams come true on a budget. Please review the following points supporting my argument: 

1. I have loyally upheld the David’s Bridal name for two years. Although I lack any hard numbers, I am likely in a higher percentile of employee retention rates. 
2. I look great in the dress. My tattoos especially compliment the look. 
3. I have vehemently defended the company’s decision/design of the Busch Beer and David’s  Bridal collaboration. It was pure brilliance! Many doubted the idea- I did not. 
4. I do not drink beer but am very willing to take up drinking Busch Beer if it is necessary. 
5. I’m a great employee. Just check out a few of my 5 star reviews from satisfied customers. I have made dreams come true for many David’s brides. 

thank you for joining me in this crusade to acquire my dream dress and fulfill my destiny. It is with great pride I represent the DB brand. Please help me ascend to the next level of bridal bliss-making.