Please help me help future bereaved parents.

When your child dies, your world ends. There is no future in sight. You are simply trying to survive one moment at a time. Your mind cannot process reality, and the last thing any bereaved parent should have to worry about is money.

There should be a Bereaved Parents Benefit. 

In Ireland, there is no specific financial support for parents whose child has died. Child Benefit stops immediately. Parents can apply for Illness Benefit, but the system does not reflect the reality of grief. Your income may disappear because you are no longer mentally or physically able to work, yet your rent, mortgage, bills, and daily expenses remain exactly the same.

When my precious daughter died, I had no idea what financial strain lay ahead. At the time, I did not care. Nothing mattered anymore. I no longer had my daughter to feed, clothe, make happy or cosy. What did I need?

Unfortunately the financial reality eventually crashes down on you.

What I should have been given was time, dignity, and compassion, just as every bereaved parent in Ireland deserves.

Instead, within a single week, I received a letter informing me that my carer’s benefit payment was ending, another explaining that I did not qualify for assistance with my daughter’s funeral costs and suggesting I seek help from family or charity, a letter directing me towards employment pathways despite already being employed, and a summons for jury duty after spending ten years caring for my seriously ill child.

When I applied for Illness Benefit, I was awarded a payment so low it would barely cover my rent and groceries, never mind household bills or the occasional small comfort that helps you get through the day.

Thankfully, we are surrounded by love and support. Friends, family and charity helped when we needed it most. They arrived with groceries, coffee, or a treat. We had an incredible charity voluntarily pay for our daughter’s funeral no questions asked. These gestures carried us through some very dark days. They looked after us. 

But some parents do not have that support. Many cannot ask for help. And when they do, strict eligibility rules can leave them with little or nothing.

When your child dies, life can feel pointless. Yet the bills still need to be paid. You need the roof over your head. The lights and heating must stay on. Food is still needed in the fridge. The practical demands of life do not stop for grief.

I am campaigning for a Bereaved Parents Benefit so that future parents, who will so unfairly find themselves in this unimaginable situation, are given the support they deserve.

Ireland rightly provides support for those who have lost a spouse or partner. Bereaved parents deserve recognition and support too. They deserve dignity, time and space to learn to live a life they never planned or imagined. 

I began this campaign last year, but I was not strong enough to continue the fight. Today, I am.

I will not stop until bereaved parents no longer have to beg for help while carrying the greatest loss imaginable.

Please support my petition.

Thank you,

Katie

A devastated mammy fight for change