CNN recently contributed pressure to the irrational backlash Trader Joe's received for benign product names in their international food department. 

Unlike most corporations, Trader Joe's took a brave stand against the faux outrage mob, who are seeking to harass them into submission under transparently false pretenses of moral superiority. In reality, these outrage campaigns are based run-of-the-mill, authoritarian bullying. Nothing more.

As CNN seems to be under the impression that yet another ridiculous petition with 5,000 names on it warrants the attention of a large, international "news" network, it seems worthwhile to see if they would actually surrender to the weight of such numbers (as they seem to believe Trader Joe's should do), and aim a super-serious and very legitimate petition in their direction. This is that petition.