For too long Claremore has been the laughing stock of the high school mascot community. 

I here by announce my intentions to start a petition in order to change my city’s mascot from a red and white zebra, to an alligator, due to the recent find in out beautiful lake here. 

Let’s start with the history. Historically zebras are just loud mouthed prey. With that little squeaky wanna be neigh. I mean what is that? Grow a pair and find your big boy voice zebra. Have you ever heard a real horse left in a pen while the other is taken to a rodeo? That will scare you. Sounds alien. 

Now gators are known OG’s. People always try to pet zebras. Ain’t no one except some Florida flatbilly trying to pet a gator ok. I know Steve Irwin had all of us out trying to catch snakes, but I can’t recall anyone trying to jump on a gator here. Never mind the fact we did t have any at that time, still. Have you ever tried it? Yeah, that’s what I thought. 

A red and white zebra is the most obvious prey on the Serengeti, okay? There is nothing they can blend in with. I mean nothing. Gators have natural camo, and how many people do you see at Walmart wearing camo here?

We could even make the gator camo! Make it our city color. I know the cops would love camo vehicles. I would have when I was a deputy. Be hiding in plain sight. 

Here are some pictures of crocodiles eating zebras. I know that an alligator and a crocodile are different, but they are cousins, so I mean…just look at that. We could totally take off a limb. Then it suffers and we get a snack. I’m looking at you Oologah Mustangs. 

I feel like the ego boost to our city would catapult us into being state champs in every facet of high school competition. With a gator as a mascot, there is no telling what blessings would be brought to Claremore. I mean, we could feasibly be the city that starts the Jetsons revolution. Little flying cars that sound like sick bees. Straight up catapult us into the future of the world. 

In closing. I think the name change would serve untold future generations of citizens in our city. It would move us from Claremorons, to Claremore…ites, I dunno.