Dear Mr. Frito,

Over the years, my small family, including my wife and two cats, have enjoyed partaking in Jalapeño Fritos Scoops. As our love for each other grew, so did our love and consumption of these delicious snacks. On many occasions, I would find myself in the metaphorical “doghouse” and these chips often served as a gateway back into the good graces of the family.  For the last several months, we have searched far and wide for these at various supermarkets and grocery stores to no avail. A troubling thought has occurred to us- have these been discontinued?

Several months ago, we received great news- we will be welcoming a baby boy into our family! As our country goes through a period of unrest and discord, it is troubling knowing that we will not be able to provide the glue that has helped keep our family together through these tough times to our future son. Although we will do our best, we fear without these chips that the future will be cold and bleak.

I humbly request that we restore order to this great nation by rediscovering the joy of the Jalapeño Fritos Scoop. It is not lost on me, or all Americans, that the loss of this chip has coincided with a deep discord felt throughout our society. Mahatma Ghandi once said “be the change you wish to see in the world.” It’s time- the jalapeño Fritos scoop must come back. We all must do our duty- I, myself, have taken it upon me to speak out. I may lack corporate decision making power or manufacturing capabilities, but I do have a voice and I intend to use it. 

Thank you for your ear and I hope you will take these words to heart as we plot a new course in American History.

Sincerely,
Hunter, Kate, Pumpkin, and Ichabod