🏴‍🔥 Official Abilene Petition to Bring a Buc-ee’s to Town 🐿️⛽️

Because West Texas Deserves Brisket, Beaver Nuggets, and Bathrooms Fit for Royalty!

To whom it may concern (ahem… Buc-ee’s decision makers 👀),

We, the fine and feral people of Abilene, Texas, request — no, demand — that you bless our land with a Buc-ee’s. We are tired. We are hungry.

Why Abilene? Let us explain:

• We have LAND. A shocking amount of land. Acres on acres just sitting there… lonely… waiting to become a shrine to Beaver Nuggets.
  
  
• We’re right on I-20. You literally can’t miss us. People already stop here for gas. Might as well let them stop for the greatest gas station in human history.

• Abilene is home to the first AI plant. So obviously the next historical milestone is the first West Texas Buc-ee’s. That’s just how destiny works.

• Our citizens are ready. We have trained for this moment by eating jerky, drinking fountain sodas the size of small toddlers, and mastering the art of the road trip snack haul.

Abilenians are fully prepared to financially support this Buc-ee’s with:

 • reckless snack purchases

 • impulse jerky decisions

 • and 3 a.m. “I need a hoodie with a beaver on it” runs

We promise to treat the beaver mascot with respect. Pictures will be taken. Hugs will be given. No weird stuff.

This is our call to greatness.

Help us make history, build the beaver empire, and give West Texas the Buc-ee’s it deserves. Abilene is ready. Our bathrooms are not as nice as yours. We accept this. Please save us.

Please, Buc-ee’s.

Bless Abilene. 
Give us hope. 
Give us brisket.
Give us a bathroom so clean it makes us cry.

Sign below if you believe in this mission.

Together, we can bring brisket sandwiches, immaculate restrooms, and a 200-pump paradise to West Texas.

Amen, YEE-HAW, and God Bless the Beaver. 🐿️✨