I wanted to update you all with what I have done and what response I have got so far.  Last Monday I collated the signatures, comments and supporting letters so far and sent them to the people who have been identified as having any power.  They are St Chads Vicar, the PCC, the Leeds Diocesan Registrar, the Archdeacon of Leeds and the Bishop of Leeds.  In my email I set out my 3 main concerns with the rules. These are in brief:

1. The rules state the absolute importance of fully informing families of the rules.  This didn't happen to us before we accepted the resting place and this is probably fairly common.

2.  The defence I have heard from the Church so far says that they balance the needs of grieving families with aesthetic and maintenance concerns.  I do not accept this as true. A balance of needs would lead to a compromise, not a blanket ban on all decorations.  This is especially true of children's resting places which should be allowed to reflect the personality of the child (see the photo of Ellie Mae, who loved and lived big, bright and colourful). 

3.  The process of trying to open up a dialogue and fight for a very small concession - to be allowed a stone teddy or suchlike at my child's grave - has been impossibly difficult and frustrating. I have been passed from pillar to post, the argument on a national level being that the rules are determined locally, and on a local level that they reflect rules nationally!  I have not come across any desire from the Church to listen and engage with me or other grieving families about the possibility of relaxing the rules for children's graves.

I asked two questions in my email.  The first is relating to the General Synod, which was suggested to me by the Archbishop of Canterbury's office as a potential way of engaging with the rules.  I have asked for this to be explained to me so that I can start the process.

The second is regarding the Chancellor, who has said he cannot talk with me in case it comes before him for adjudication. I have asked for clarification on this and to know when he can speak to me.

So far, I have not had a response from anyone to the email, not even an acknowledgment.  I have sent a follow up email to the Archdeacon today, as he is on the General Synod and I hope he can help me with the process.

Thanks for reading so far! I wanted to assure you that I am still very much fighting this and have no intention of giving up.  Now I need your help - if you have written a supporting letter, please can you send it direct to the Registrar's office?  I have already sent them but think it would have even more impact for them to be send individually.  The email address is peter.foskett@luptonfawcett.law

If you haven't yet written a supporting letter please can you consider doing so?  An army is harder to ignore than little old me banging on!

Also, if anyone has press contacts please can you get in touch?  I had avoided press involvement but feel it is the next step.

Finally please continue to share the petition - it would be great to get to the 3000 mark.

Thank you so much for your continued support. No parent should be told they can't decorate their child's resting place to reflect their unique personality and help them to grieve - it's unnatural and wrong.  Thank you for helping me to fight this. 

Lynsey xx