Petition to replace all Christopher Columbus Statues with statues of Chef Boyardee

Now hear me out, cause I know this sounds kinda cheesy (pun intended). Statues of this man already exist but we need more of them.

Christopher Columbus is out. Nobody likes him. He was never an actual American since the country didn’t even exist. He never set foot in any part of what is now America (except Puerto Rico which as of this writing is not yet a State). And he did nothing to help a single American ever. Of course, there’s the bad stuff I won’t get into. So it is understandable that people want his statues gone.

I propose we replace all statues of Christopher Columbus with statues of Chef Boyardee. I’m guessing you think he is another made up corporate spokesmen like Ronald McDonald or Joe Isuzu. Well you would be wrong. Chef Boyardee was a living breathing man.

Born in Piacenza Italy, Ettore Boiardi immigrated to the United States in 1914 entering through Ellis Island. He worked his way up to being a head chef at the Plaza Hotel in New York City where he became so well known for his pasta sauce, he began to bottle and sell it. Eventually he opened a factory and began to distribute his canned pasta all over the country.

During the Great Depression, Chef Boyardee provided low cost meals any family could afford. In fact, Chef Boyardee has been a go to inexpensive meal for poor families for generations. During the current pandemic of 2020, stores routinely sold out of many Chef Boyardee products due to the high demand. He truly created a fast easy meal anyone can enjoy.

In what may be his greatest accomplishment, he helped feed soldiers in World War II by supplying cans of foods for the troops as they fought against fascism and Nazis. Chef Boyardee had supported his new home of the United States even when we went to war against his homeland of Italy. He was awarded the Gold Star of Excellence by the US War Department for his part in the war effort.

However for many Italian Americans Christopher Columbus was all they had. Those Columbus statues are the one bone thrown to the Italian American community amidst terrible acts of xenophobia and racism that plagued them as they came to America. These include the worst day of lynching in American history when 11 Italian Americans were murdered after an alleged killing of a police chief in 1882 in Louisiana. In 1920 Sacco and Venzetti, two Italian Immigrants and known anarchists were convicted and put to death for murder and robbery on scant evidence here in my home State of Massachusetts. We must never forget the trials of Italian Immigrants who faced great pains to fully integrate into America. And that is why many of those statues of Columbus were erected.

Chef Boyardee is a much better role model.

To summarize his story -

- An immigrant
- A master at his craft
- An entrepreneur
- Fed hungry families during Americas time of need and still does today
- Is a decorated war time hero for keeping the supply lines going and feeding the troops as they fought fascism and Nazis in World War II
- Proves hard work can overcome adversity and discrimination
- Is the embodiment of the American dream showing how an immigrant can become a household name for generations

As an Italian-American myself, I ask your help in making this happen. Please sign my petition. With enough signatures we can all come together to make this change and elevate a true American hero. Perhaps we can also change Columbus Day to Chef Boyardee day and raise a Ravioli to celebrate!