Victory

Vow to never see "The Expendables 2" on any medium.

This petition made change with 68 supporters!


"The Expendables" was a theatrical event of cataclysmic proportions.

It surpassed everything that MEN thought could be in a movie. It united all males, from all species of living things, across all continents, in a bond of blood brotherhood. It was simply transcendent.

It went against every trend that the movie industry was forcing on consumers. You wouldn't find a teary-eyed, perpetually open mouthed Bella Swan crying about her terrible life. You wouldn't see a cast of high-school aged kids acting out semi-comedic aggression. You wouldn't see any catering done to any masses. You wouldn't find anyone caring at all about the critical reception.

You want explosions? Have them in a buffet style. You want the gigantic Rocky 4 villain to fight a tiny martial artist? No problem. Have it twice. You want a love story? Mickey Rourke's monologue is as close as you're going to get. There's a woman character in it? Well, yes, but she's going to get waterboarded while Eric Roberts sips coffee.

Finally, you MOST CERTAINLY would not see any "hard language" dialogue removed or any scenes being "edited down" in any fashion, for any reason. The original Expendables film did not pull any punches. It did not show any mercy to the weak. It was a movie going experience that stood alone in the battle of Man vs. Theater - and, it won.

Chuck Norris has now destroyed everything that the original Expendables movie stood for. What once was a universal symbol for MEN to unite around, has now been cast into ruins. Chuck Norris sums it up himself: "[The] Expendables is now a PG-13 film so kids can see it."

Kids.

KIDS!?

[sigh]

The movie has been filmed. There is no hope for retribution. There's no way it's going to change from PG-13 to R. There's no way that it's even been filmed as such. What once was a perfect thing has now fallen victim to the exact principles that it once stood against.

The Expendables 2 will now fit every mold that a modern movie should fit by industry standards. Instead of being a strong followup to an amazing achievement in movie making, it will be the cliché re-release. A potent whiskey and moonshine mixer turned watered down virgin daiquiri that a teenage girl can drink.

An un-rated "special edition" DVD/Blu-ray release with some re-recorded dialogue and CGI effects added will certainly follow -- "See the film you wanted to see originally!" they'll tell us.

Well, we're not going to fall victim to this. You're not going to give us the movie we want? We're not going to go see it. Ever.

Shame on you, Chuck Norris. Violence, explosions, blood, and "hard language"... None of these things are for kids. Your logic is undeniably faulted on many levels, and your target audience for this film (Men, by the way, not "kids") will make it known to you.



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