Coercive control and psychological abuse destroy lives without leaving visible scars. It’s time Virginia protects victims by recognizing these patterns as real and criminal — before it’s too late.

 

For too long, survivors of domestic abuse have been forced to wait for visible bruises or broken bones before they are believed. Yet psychological abuse and coercive control often leave the most lasting damage — and in Virginia, it is not even recognized as a crime.

My name is Vicktoria Chrisan Prior, and I am a survivor of this type of abuse.

 

What Is Coercive Control?

Coercive control is not about rage — it’s about power. It’s a calculated system of domination, where an abuser isolates, gaslights, intimidates, and manipulates their partner, often in subtle, insidious ways that make the victim question their own reality. These abusers push their victims beyond emotional and psychological limits, then create traps to provoke breakdowns — using these as “proof” that the victim is unstable or unfit.

They plant seeds of doubt in the minds of friends, family, counselors, even legal professionals. They control access to finances, medical care, transportation, and freedom. They violate boundaries, use the courts to retaliate, and in many cases — they use the couple’s own children as pawns to hurt the victim and gain leverage.

 

My Story

My husband subjected me to ongoing psychological torment — manipulation, isolation, emotional degradation, gaslighting, and control over every area of my life. When I tried to seek help, he painted himself as the victim.

He even controlled how I was allowed to care for our child. When our baby was teething in pain, my husband refused to allow pain medication, saying he “needed to toughen up.” He also forced me to use the “cry it out” method against my maternal instincts. Our child cried for over an hour and a half, and when I begged to go comfort him, I was denied permission — told that it was “healthy” and “normal.” Sometimes he had cornered me in a room not allowing me to go check on our child despite how desperately I wanted too. 

This wasn’t parenting. This was psychological abuse, both toward me and toward our child. I lived in fear of his reactions and his control — even in the most intimate, sacred act of mothering.

He manipulated even our marriage counselor. After she initially acknowledged his abuse, he shifted her perception through charm and misdirection. This isn’t uncommon — these abusers are skilled at deception, often hiding behind the mask of a loving spouse or a concerned parent.

 

When I tried to stand up for myself legally, I discovered a terrifying truth:  Virginia law enforcement refused to press perjury charges against my husband, despite having clear physical evidence and documentation of his false claims. I have witnesses, messages, and even several confessions he made to family — but they will not act. Because of this legal inaction, I live in fear of being falsely institutionalized, or my life coming to an end.

Perjury is such a rare charge, and civilians are not allowed to directly pursue that Charge. I have spoken with 2 different magistrates and 2 different police officers, and each person gave me different instructions, there is no way for victims to protect themselves.

 

This is not just about me. I have connected with numerous other victims of my husband — from past partners to former employers and clients. Most were unwilling to come forward, not because they weren’t harmed, but because they feared retaliation. Some had already suffered devastating consequences.

 

He even nearly convinced my own family to turn against me — until I showed them indisputable evidence. That’s how convincing and calculated this abuse can be.

 

He tried to strip our child from me, while smiling in my saying "he would never try to take the mother of his child away from his kid" 

 

Until I went through his phone and saw everything. 

 

He tried to strip me of the assets that I paid for to provide our family comfort.

 

I have lived in a state of constant fear since January of this year.

 

The Children Are the Ones Who Suffer Most

My son is now the second child my husband has used as a pawn. These predators don’t stop at manipulating adults — they weaponize their own children to maintain control. When the law doesn’t recognize psychological abuse, it’s not just the victims who suffer. It’s the children who grow up in these toxic environments, learning that manipulation is normal and love must be earned through obedience.

 

Damages of coercive control include, but are not limited to:

Mental & Emotional Damage

1. Chronic anxiety & hypervigilance

Victims often live in a constant state of fear, walking on eggshells, afraid of triggering their abuser. This can lead to long-term anxiety disorders, panic attacks, and even PTSD.

2. Depression & hopelessness

The systematic breakdown of a person’s identity, confidence, and self-worth leads to depression, feelings of worthlessness, and in severe cases, suicidal ideation.

3. Gaslighting-induced confusion
Constant manipulation causes victims to question their memory, perception, and sanity, making them doubt their reality and feel mentally unstable.

4. Loss of identity
Through isolation, belittling, and control over choices, victims lose their sense of self, dreams, and independence. They begin to exist only to appease the abuser.

Physical Health Consequences

5. Stress-related illness

Chronic stress from living in fear leads to migraines, gastrointestinal issues, heart problems, insomnia, and weakened immune systems. These living conditions can trigger autoimmune diseases in people who never experienced them before the abuse.

 

6. Sleep deprivation

Victims are often kept awake through arguments, silent treatment, surveillance, or stress, severely affecting their ability to function and make decisions.

Parenting and Child Development

7. Sabotaging the parent-child bond

Abusers often manipulate children against the victim, undermining their authority, accusing them of being “crazy” or unfit, or using custody threats as a control tactic.

 

8. Intergenerational trauma

Children raised in coercively controlled homes are more likely to develop anxiety, attachment issues, or repeat patterns of abuse in future relationships.

9. Control over parenting decisions
The abuser may force the victim into harmful parenting choices (e.g., denying a child comfort, rigid discipline methods) that conflict with the victim’s values and instincts.

Economic Impact

10. Financial dependence
Abusers often control money, restrict access to bank accounts, or prevent the victim from working — leaving them unable to leave the relationship

11. Sabotaged employment or education. Victims may be forced to quit jobs or drop out of school through manipulation, guilt, or direct interference, limiting their future independence.

12. Debt and financial ruin. Victims may be coerced into taking loans, maxing out credit cards, or paying for everything, while the abuser controls assets or withholds support.

Social & Legal Consequences

13. Isolation from support systems. Friends and family are pushed away — either subtly (guilt-tripping, monopolizing time) or overtly (forbidding contact, spreading lies about the victim).

 

14. Reputation damage. Abusers may smear the victim’s name through false accusations, portraying themselves as the victim — damaging the victim's credibility with friends, family, or even in court.

15. Legal entrapment
The victim is manipulated into criminal or risky behavior, threatened with legal action, or dragged into court battles they’re not emotionally or financially equipped to fight.

Cognitive and Executive Functioning Decline

16. Decision paralysis. Constant control and belittling erode the victim’s confidence in their ability to make decisions, leading to learned helplessness and dependence.

 

17. Memory and concentration issues. Emotional trauma affects the brain’s ability to retain and process information, which can mimic symptoms of cognitive decline or ADHD.

Why Virginia Must Act

There are no current criminal statutes in Virginia recognizing coercive control or psychological abuse as forms of domestic violence. This gap leaves victims — especially mothers like myself — completely unprotected and vulnerable.

 

Without intervention, these abusers continue their cycles, undetected, unpunished, and unchecked.

 

🛑 We Demand Change:

We call on Virginia lawmakers and the Governor’s office to:

 

• Criminalize Coercive Control and Psychological Abuse as forms of domestic violence.

 

• Allow survivors to press perjury charges when there is clear documentation and evidence of false legal testimony used to manipulate family court outcomes.
• Train law enforcement and the judicial system to recognize these patterns of psychological abuse and coercive control.

 

• Give a standardized testing of character, ethics, and empathy for both parties to determine who is the aggressor.

 

• Make abusers pay for the financial ruin and damages that they have caused

 

• Make abusers pay compensation to the victims for the emotional abuse and psychological damages they have caused

 

• Charge Abusers with slandering names, and ruining reputations with family, friends, 

 

 

• Create a safeguard process for victims, especially those with children, to prevent false psychiatric claims and retaliatory custody manipulation
• Abusers to face criminal charges and fines for compensation of the abuse.

 

 

 

 
✊ You Can Help

Psychological abuse leaves no visible wounds, but the pain is real. Families are being torn apart. Children are being used as tools. Survivors are being left to suffer insilence because the law hasn’t caught up to reality.

 

We need your signature to make Virginia take action.

 

Help us protect victims before it’s too late.

 

Sign this petition. Share it. Speak up.

 

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Several countries have recognized coercive control as a criminal offense, including the United Kingdom, Ireland, and parts of Australia. Canada is also moving towards criminalizing coercive control. Other countries, like those in the EU, are addressing psychological violence, including coercive control, through various legal frameworks.