🧙‍♀️Churails of the world unite. We’ve had enough of colonial cosplay and gaslighting in MLA format. Sign below to support a feminist relocation plan for Aitchisonians.

🧿 Who Are We? 

We are the daughters of dains and the descendants of women who fled Aitchisonian dinner parties to save their brain cells. We have endured French philosopher quotes in Uber rides, unsolicited "Nietzsche vibes" on Bumble, and colonial cosplay disguised as tradition. We are tired. We are many. We are done.

🎩 Who Are They?


Aitchisonians (n.): South Asia’s elite legacy-lords. Raised on horses, debate tournaments, and generational entitlement. Known for:
* Quoting Simone de Beauvoir after breaking your soul
* Saying “badtameez” when you set a boundary
* Sending you essays in MLA format post-ghosting
* Thinking Tinder bans build character
* Believing “my father is a retired general” counts as emotional depth

🚨 Why Must They Be Removed?


Because they:

* Debate for no reason—in therapy, in relationships, in car rides
* Say “What is truth?” when shown screenshots
* Use sarcasm as intimacy and debate as affection
* Think their logic is superior to listening
* Apologize in perfect grammar while still gaslighting
* Think a turban hides the fact that their skulls are empty

🔥 The Damage Is Universal:

* Therapists are tired
* Friends are silenced
* Partners are exhausted
* Group chats are hijacked
* Horses are still traumatised
* Golf courses are emotionally scarred

🔗 Their Legacy Fetish Must End:


Aitchisonians continuously name-drop Aitchison. Their sons must go there because of "tradition" — not because anyone learned a single usable skill. It’s not education. It’s dynastic cosplay.

✅ Who Supports This Petition?

* Women
* Men
* Cousins
* Professors
* Waiters
* Uber drivers
* Literally anyone who’s had to endure an Aitchisonian explain anything for two minutes

🚀 Our Proposal:


Relocate them to a debate island. No women. No WhatsApp. No audience. Let them quote Plato at each other until the last one collapses into his own podcast.

⚡ Protect the public from:

* Mansplaining in Oxbridge accents
* Gaslighting in MLA format
* Philosophical monologues about “freedom” while violating your space

❌ Reasons include, but are not limited to:

* Saying “Do you know who my father is?”
* Sexual harassment followed by rape threats.
* Confusing trauma with foreplay.
* Sending essays after ghosting you.
* Beginning every argument with “As a man…”
* Thinking quoting Simone de Beauvoir after breaking you counts as feminism.
* Expecting submission because they read 3 pages of Freud.
* Still using “badtameez” when a woman sets a boundary.
* Telling you they’re different from their mafia family (they’re not).
* Confusing consent with performance.
* Archiving chats instead of accountability.
* Thinking Tinder bans are character development.

Note: This petition uses satire to highlight real social behaviours and entitlement. Debate Island is not (yet) real.

✍🏽 Sign today and share widely.


Because Perseverance Commands... Expulsion.