Make the Donaldism Movie a thing

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EXT. THE DUCK SWAMP - AFTERNOON

Strong professional duck MR. DONALD DUCK is arguing with funny accountant for duck money MRS. DAISY DUCK. DONALD tries to hug DAISY but she shakes him off.

DONALD
Please Daisy, don't leave me.
DAISY
I'm sorry Donald, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
DONALD
I am such a person!
DAISY frowns.

DAISY
I'm sorry, Donald. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
DAISY leaves.

DONALD sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, sweet professional annoyance MR. MICKEY MOUSE barges in looking flustered.

DONALD
Goodness, Mickey! Is everything okay?
MICKEY
I'm afraid not.
DONALD
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
MICKEY
It's ... a taniwha ... I saw an evil taniwha consume a bunch of meme lovers!
DONALD
Defenseless meme lovers?
MICKEY
Yes, defenseless meme lovers!
DONALD
Bloomin' heck, Mickey! We've got to do something.
MICKEY
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
DONALD
You can start by telling me where this happened.
MICKEY
I was...
MICKEY fans himself and begins to wheeze.

DONALD
Focus Mickey, focus! Where did it happen?
MICKEY
Mickey Mouse Clubhouse! That's right - Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!
DONALD springs up and begins to run.


EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS

DONALD rushes along the street, followed by MICKEY. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.


INT. MICKEY MOUSE CLUBHOUSE - SHORTLY AFTER

MEME ADMIN N a brutal taniwha terrorises two meme lovers.

DONALD, closely followed by MICKEY, rushes towards MEME ADMIN, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

MICKEY
What is is? What's the matter?
DONALD
That's not just any old taniwha, that's Meme Admin N!
MICKEY
Who's Meme Admin N?
DONALD
Who's Meme Admin N? Who's Meme Admin N? Only the most brutal taniwha in the universe!
MICKEY
Blinkin' knickers, Donald! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most brutal taniwha in the universe!
DONALD
You can say that again.
MICKEY
Blinkin' knickers, Donald! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most brutal taniwha in the universe!
DONALD
I'm going to need flaming swords, lots of flaming swords.
Meme Admin turns and sees Donald and Mickey. He grins an evil grin.

MEME ADMIN
Donald Duck, we meet again.
MICKEY
You've met?
DONALD
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...

EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME

A young DONALD is sitting in a park listening to some duck pop music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

He looks up and sees MEME ADMIN. He takes off his headphones.

MEME ADMIN
Would you like some chocolate?
DONALD's eyes light up, but then he studies MEME ADMIN more closely, and looks uneasy.

DONALD
I don't know, you look kind of brutal.
MEME ADMIN
Me? No. I'm not brutal. I'm the least brutal taniwha in the world.
DONALD
Wait, you're a taniwha?
DONALD runs away, screaming.


INT. MICKEY MOUSE CLUBHOUSE - PRESENT DAY

MEME ADMIN
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
MICKEY
(To DONALD) You ran away?
DONALD
(To MICKEY) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
DONALD turns to MEME ADMIN.

DONALD
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
DONALD runs away.

He turns back and shouts.

DONALD
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with flaming swords.
MEME ADMIN
I'm not scared of you.
DONALD
You should be.

INT. THE BEEHIVE - LATER THAT DAY

DONALD and MICKEY walk around searching for something.

DONALD
I feel sure I left my flaming swords somewhere around here.
MICKEY
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly flaming swords.
DONALD
You know nothing Mickey Mouse.
MICKEY
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, MEME ADMIN appears, holding a pair of flaming swords.
MEME ADMIN
Looking for something?
MICKEY
Crikey, Donald, he's got your flaming swords.
DONALD
Tell me something I don't already know!
MICKEY
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
DONALD
I know that already!
MICKEY
I hate Donaldism.
MEME ADMIN
(appalled) Dude!
While MEME ADMIN is looking at MICKEY with disgust, DONALD lunges forward and grabs his deadly flaming swords. He wields them, triumphantly.

DONALD
Prepare to die, you brutal carrot!
MEME ADMIN
No please! All I did was consume a bunch of meme lovers!
DAISY enters, unseen by any of the others.

DONALD
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those meme lovers were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Donald Duck defender of innocent meme lovers.
MEME ADMIN
Don't hurt me! Please!
DONALD
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these flaming swords on you right away!
MEME ADMIN
Because Donald, I am your father.
DONALD looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

DONALD
No you're not!
MEME ADMIN
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
MEME ADMIN tries to grab the flaming swords but DONALD dodges out of the way.

DONALD
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, MEME ADMIN slumps to the ground.

MICKEY
Did he just faint?
DONALD
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly flaming swords.
DONALD crouches over MEME ADMIN's body.

MICKEY
Be careful, Donald. It could be a trick.
DONALD
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Meme Admin N is dead!
DONALD
What?
DONALD
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.
MICKEY claps his hands.

MICKEY
So your flaming swords did save the day, after all.
DAISY steps forward.

DAISY
Is it true? Did you kill the brutal taniwha?
DONALD
Daisy how long have you been...?
DAISY puts her arm around DONALD.

DAISY
Long enough.
DONALD
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Meme Admin N.
DAISY
Then the meme lovers are safe?
DONALD
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable meme lovers enter, looking relived.

DAISY
You are their hero.
The meme lovers bow to DONALD.

DONALD
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Meme Admin N will never consume meme lovers ever again, is enough for me.
DAISY
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the meme lovers passes DONALD an orange duck beak

DAISY
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
DONALD
I couldn't possibly.
Pause.

DONALD
Well, if you insist.
DONALD takes the duck beak.

DONALD
Thank you.
The meme lovers bow their heads once more, and leave.

DONALD turns to DAISY.

DONALD
Does this mean you want me back?
DAISY
Oh, Donald, of course I want you back!
DONALD smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

DONALD
Well you can't have me.
DAISY
WHAT?
DONALD
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a taniwha to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
DAISY
But...
DONALD
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Mickey.
MICKEY grins.

DAISY
But...
MICKEY
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
DAISY
Donald?
DONALD
I'm sorry Daisy, but I think you should skidaddle.
DAISY leaves.

MICKEY turns to DONALD.

MICKEY
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
DONALD
Of course you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly MICKEY stops.

MICKEY
When I said I hate Donaldism, you know I was just trying to distract the taniwha don't you?
THE END



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