Doug Ford should be publicly caned on the Queen's park lawn.

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A Modest proposal of sorts:

The first months of Doug Ford's disturbingly irresponsible tenure as premier of Ontario have already caused a great deal of suffering by way of a number of disastrous motions that continue to devastate the province's general populace and compromise Ontario's overall well-being. A very few such examples are as follows:

1) Cancelling the cap-and-trade green energy act (a callously neglectful move that nullifies efforts to regulate Greenhouse emissions from major polluters)

2) Halting the safe injection site initiative (Another blunder that nullifies what would have been a life-saving endeavor for many Ontarian's struggling with Opioid Addiction)

3) Rolling back Pharmacare (Compromising the access of thousands of Canadians to much needed medications. Once again, a potentially life threatening state of affairs for those affected.)

4) Cutting $25 Million in funding for specialized school programs. (including “programs that provide after-school jobs for needy-teens, classroom tutors for kids, ‘student success’ supports for racialized youth as well as a project focusing on Indigenous issues.”)

5) Cancelling rent control (Compromising the well-being of thousands of Ontarians, particularly low income individuals and families)

But why a caning?

It is clear that any given activity that Premier Ford performs in a political capacity is liable to serve as a very credible threat to the lives and well-being of Ontario citizens, particularly marginalized groups such as the homeless, Indigenous Canadians, ethnic minorities, the impoverished, the drug addicted, the mentally ill and the LGBTQ community. In the short term, a mildly debilitating caning of his buttocks will impede him from entering his office, providing a short period of respite from any would-be initiatives that would further damage the lives of Ontario's populace. 

Is it legal?

Here, from the Criminal Code of Canada Section 34, is the self-defense provision in view:

34 (1) A person is not guilty of an offence if
(a) they believe on reasonable grounds that force is being used against them or another person or that a threat of force is being made against them or another person;
(b) the act that constitutes the offence is committed for the purpose of defending or protecting themselves or the other person from that use or threat of force; and
(c) the act committed is reasonable in the circumstances.

As the aforementioned list of disastrous initiatives by Ford demonstrates, there is a perfectly credible risk of the Premier's political endeavors, unimpeded, resulting in both mental and physical injury to a not insignificant portion of Ontario's populace. A disruptive caning of his buttocks would certainly constitute an offence committed for the purpose of defending people from a threat of force. 

We ask that the Canadian Federal Government agree that a pre-emptive caning maintains compliance with Section 34 of the Criminal Code of Canada.