Our first in a series of lived experience accounts starts with the story of Julie and her family, based in the East Midlands, and how they were forced to "electively" home educate in the face of the pressure of threats of fines.

We will continue with this series over the coming weeks. If you have a lived experience perspective on the issues we are raising with fines and prosecution that you wish to share, please do contact us at maddieandsusan.noschoolfines@gmail.com

If you seek assistance with your child's attendance difficulties, the peer support group Not Fine In School is available with free resources: https://notfineinschool.co.uk/ and an associated Facebook group.

Thank you to Julie for sharing...

Julie's Lived Experience

My child was having difficulty going to school…but being fined was not something I needed to worry about, surely?

Throughout her challenges, I had worked with the school, instigated meetings, brought ideas to the table and tried to empathise with the strain the mainstream schools were under… I was even invited to speak in a couple of the schools by invitation about SEND… yet here I was holding a letter in my hand warning of my child’s attendance level and action that may be taken if it did not improve.

This brought up so many emotions: shock, anger, and disgust. It was plain to see that I was doing everything possible to ensure my child attended school, but it was also clear she was struggling and stepping ever closer to a crisis.

I contacted the head of the school as their signature was on the letter. I wanted to know why my child’s absence was not authorised when it was due to mental health reasons.

I explained that there a delay on a professional coming to assess her and I was appealing the Local Authorities refusal to assess for her to obtain an EHCP  (Educational, Health and Care Plan). I had worked with the school for years, these challenges were by no means a new thing, we had tried absolutely everything and now were awaiting professional input.

I was pushing all of this myself while trying to manage my child - her nervous system was constantly overloaded, causing night terrors and extreme anxiety. I would sit in desperation, wondering how I could make this okay. My child was falling apart, and now this.

In response to my letter of anguish to the Head, the response stated, “We work very hard to ensure children's needs are met in school, and part of that is being in school. There is clear evidence that life chances are massively reduced when attendance is low. Children with ASD in particular need routine and we have many children with the diagnosis who have benefitted from being in school - this has actually helped reduce anxiety. When applying for an EHC, attendance is looked at and a plan would not be given if the child has poor attendance. Hope that helps?”

It didn’t help.

And the statement about the EHCP not being issued if attendance is low was incorrect too!

I was now beginning to understand why after 5years at school my child was worse than ever, they actually had no clue about the system or what is needed for my child as an autistic individual. The one approach fits all seems to be the way as every ASD child benefits from routine, and school reduces anxiety. How very stereotypical. Everything had always been a fight, and this was no different.

I responded stating that the EHCP information was not correct and in return the head said, “Sorry about the letter, I don't like it either, but it is a statutory letter ...”

 It was at this point I realised two important things:

1. I am on my own in this situation, and nobody is going to stand by my decision to put my child’s well-being first …and

2. The only part of the process of SEND education that is followed to the letter and within the time frames is issuing attendance letters and, ultimately, fines.

Wow!

On one occasion, I sat in my child’s primary school wondering when everything went wrong—wondering why it's expected for a mother to leave a distressed child at school? Wondering why parents feel they are failing? Where did common sense, compassion, and empathy go?

Ultimately, after lots of back and forth and to stop the threat of a fine and a criminal record, which would impact my working life and, therefore, my ability to provide for my family, I had no choice but to step away from the school system. I was forced to “electively” home educate. 

I sent one final email to the school, outlining all my concerns and how much my child was suffering - the only response I got back was a crying face emoji from the Head. No resolution or plan just a round yellow face crying- so very helpful.

And with that, we left and deregistered our child from school.

Julie

What happened next?

Our EHCP “refusal to assess” decision from the LA was overturned. A professional visited my child, stating they “need to be at home in a safe environment”; however, our EHCP plan was still then refused. The fight to access support continues, and we await a tribunal to review the decision in 2025.

The only way I could take the stress out of being fined was to leave the situation for now.

I guess the threats worked, though, as my child’s absence no longer impacts the school's attendance figures…