We in this country should have more interesting measurements. We therefore petition the government to accept the shit-ton as an official measurement, weighing 2000000 US tons. The shit-ton should also be taught as a unit of measurement in schools.

The inclusion of the shit-ton would distinguish The United States of America as a place where anything can happen. It would also make people chuckle when using it, raising our overall happiness. Finally, the shit-ton would provide a bit more of a challenge for everyone dealing with it, as it is not so easy to convert it into other units, increasing how much people have to really think, fostering a more intelligent America which would be better equipped to deal with everything that life throws at it. This leads us to the conclusion that the shit-ton would not only make people happier and more intelligent, it would also be hugely beneficial for the economy. They would take opportunities and promote innovation, leading us out of the financial crisis.