We’re all fat, easily excitable convenience lovers. The only thing we can all agree on is Buc-Ed’s and everything else is either meaningless or falling apart. Let’s get rid of all the roads, homes, skyscrapers and national parks and turn the whole country into a big Bucee’s. Everyone will work there and the only expenses will be stuff from Bucees and the drugs it takes to be complacent. 

When I arrived in America as a small four year old boy with 2 coins and a packet of saltines, I worked 23 hours a day with no days off until I was able to become a self made thousandaire. The entire time the one thought that kept me going was “One day this could all be Bucees”