I think I speak for every scholar in America when I say that I love milk. It's tasty, it's nutritious, and it's commonly available in our school's cafeterias. Best of all, the brand of milk that we consume had a reputation for printing the most hysterical, clever, absolutely brilliant jokes on the side of the carton. Everyday, children of all ages would race to the lunch line just to see what knee-slapping guffaw would be there. But one day, the humor ceased. The jokes were gone, the laughter died, and the milk became irrelevant, either getting thrown away or left to rot in the plastic carton they were delivered in. The shitty, blatantly obvious historical facts that stood in the jokes' place merely existed to plug their horrible website. The abscence of our daily dose of humor caused an outrage within our academic community, and we are absolutely disgusted by Trumoo's actions. We will not stand for this. We must unite. We must be the catalyst for a revo-moo-tion. We must get our jokes back.