Our last visit with Marni and Harper were very hard on the family. My daughters showed up to their visitation very disheveled looking. I am no longer able to record visits I have with my daughters, even though they do not include interactions with staff, so I could not photograph Harper's appearance.
She was wearing pjs and had worn them to school. I know they were pjs, because of the certain thin material and because I had purchased the same pair for my daughter at The Children's Place so they wore pjs on her to school as a play set when we are reaching down into winter temps.
They were not wearing winter coats. We had made sure to bring their winter coats two weeks prior, at visitation. If I showed up at the DCF offices, with my children, in stained pjs, disheveled and hair looking barely combed, and no winter coat, hat and gloves, they would deem me an unfit parent but DCF can do this. I would never allow my child going to school looking like this and they would be wearing winter coats, gloves and hats on days as cold as we have been having. It's unacceptable to see my child looking like this. Marni's hair was greasy at the front and around the hairlines. Unacceptable and everyone knows the way my children look. I never have them looking like this.
Even more concerning would be Harper's regression in making bathroom mistakes. She was potty trained before 3. I have never had her have any accident as far as her going poopy in her pants since I can even remember. There has been a couple occasions along the way of peeing the bed in the first year but she is very good about using the bathroom and never has accidents. When she sat on my lap, I began to smell what I first believed to be gas. I kept smelling it so I asked her if she needed to use the restroom. She said she did not and went over to play with her Father.
When him and I later spoke, we both spoke about the smell coming from Harper. He told me when he was playing toys with her he had smelled the same and tried asking her if she needed to use the restroom as well and he said she told him they had not helped her change her underwear in 2 days which means she hadn't had a bath in 2 days. That would also explain why she smelled as awful as she did and my daughter could end up with a urinary tract infection with this type of hygiene. Her underwear should be changed EVERY DAY whether she has a bath each day or not. And she should, at the very least, receive baths every other day. This is how we operate and not the conditions my children live under. I am disgusted. She is 7 years old. These are things she needs help with. Marni claimed she had worn the pjs the night before which makes sense because she looked like she rolled out of bed, with pjs on to boot. You don't wear thin material pj sets, that are stained up, to my kid for school, looking like her hair hadn't been brushed with no winter hat, gloves and coat. This is not for the best welfare of the child and to leave them in soiled underwear is a health concern and disgusting.
My daughter, Harper, has also voiced that her homework is not being gone over with her properly and she is not getting the help she needs for her spelling words. We work extra with her on spelling and reading, because she needs that. We hang her words on the wall and do flash cards each night to help keep her where she needs to be. This isn't happening now and she said sometimes Marni helps her. Are you kidding me? So my 11 year old is now not only responsible for her own studies but now has to be the tutor for her first grade sister? Marni has always gotten straight As, or close to it every year and if both my daughter's averages and grades decline because no one is working with young elementary school children with their school work, this is not in any way in the best interest of my children, to have them look disheveled and regress in body functions and school as well. Her last few spelling tests were not good and do not reflect the grades she had when she was at home.
Marni spoke about being lost and alone, embarrassed and scared. She asked me if I would find a therapist for her, because her school counselor wasn't doing anything for her. So this agency not only traumatized my children, by taking them away from the only people they have ever known, who has always consistently cared for them, in the most traumatic way possible, and they don't even provide them any type of psychological help for that during this time? I have called some psychologists in the area and have a meeting this week with one to see whether we can discuss the current situation and how we can care for the girls through therapy for their trauma in DCF custody. It is our right to seek our own medical professional opinions of our children and they desperately need help that DCF is clearly not doing.
I worry for my girls all the time and hope this nightmare ends soon. We are fighting for you and we will make sure we get you back as soon as possible, Marni and Harper. You do not deserve this.