PETITION TO BRING BACK HECTOR: OUR KICKBALL KING, OUR FIELD GENERAL, OUR LOUDEST DUDE

Let’s just say it.

Earlier this week, Hector hit us with a betrayal so bold it should’ve come with dramatic music in a Telenovela and a close up camera shot at my shocked face. He announced he’s not coming back to our kickball team, Pitch Hits & Pop Hits. And if that weren’t enough, he also casually mentioned he’s going to play on a different team. On Wednesdays. The same night we play.

So let’s be clear. He’s not stepping away from kickball. He’s just stepping away from us. The team that made him. The team that put up with him screaming “RUN” like we weren’t already halfway to second. The team that, let’s face it, is a mess, but a lovable one.

I didn’t cry. I’m the one writing this. But I did stop what I was doing, stare into space, and whisper “Really, Hector?” with the tone of a betrayed soap opera wife. Then I opened this document because this is a crisis and we need all hands on deck.

Look. We are not a powerhouse team. Sometimes we forget what inning we’re in. Sometimes we trip over our own feet. Sometimes we try to catch the ball with our face. But we show up. We play with heart, questionable accuracy, and an unmatched ability to make bad plays look dramatic.

And Hector? Hector is the engine behind all of it.

He is our voice. Our chaos coordinator. Our sideline screamer. He yells at us to hustle when we are clearly already winded. He encourages us with confusing sports terms. He brings so much energy that even when we lose, it still feels like a win because he hasn’t said, at least to me, “I’m disappointed in you.”

And let’s not forget the sacred post-game tradition. We do this for the karaoke & drinks. We do this so we can all look each other in the eye at the bar and say “We almost had that one” with a straight face. Or not. And Hector is a staple at those too.

Now he’s going to some other team? Some team that probably warms up on purpose and doesn’t let people wear non-cleated shoes to play? Some team that doesn’t understand his volume? Absolutely not.

I’m not letting this go quietly. This is my official, heartfelt, slightly petty, definitely passionate plea. Hector, we will try harder. We will fake a pregame strategy meeting. We will even pretend to understand the rules better. Im not saying we’ll win, but we will entertain. Most importantly, we will try our best and have fun doing it. 

To everyone reading this: sign this petition. Let Hector know he is needed, and he is contractually obligated (emotionally, not legally) to return.

Hector, Wednesdays are for the people. And by people, we mean your people. Us. The dysfunctional, beautiful mess you helped build.

Come back next season. The field already misses you. The team needs you. The games and karaoke will not be the same without you