Tech abuse is when someone uses technology to control, harass, or invade someone else’s life. It’s not solely about the big, obvious stuff like hacking or spying - it can also be subtle, like constantly checking someone’s location.

For example, an abuser might install a hidden app on their partner’s phone to track their every move or use their social media accounts to watch what they’re doing, even after a breakup.

It is about control and power. The abuser uses technology to make the other person feel like they can’t escape or have any privacy, even when they’re apart. It’s an extension of traditional abuse, but it can feel even more invasive because tech is such a big part of our lives. 

The current response to tech abuse often leaves victims feeling further isolated and unsupported. When police suggest that victims of tech abuse simply delete their profiles, change their numbers, or restart their entire digital identity, it is like telling a victim of stalking to never leave their house again or a victim of burglary to stop owning valuable possessions.

These solutions shift the burden of safety entirely onto the victim, forcing them to uproot their lives and cut off their digital connections to escape the abuse, rather than addressing the behaviour of the perpetrator. It’s not just inconvenient; it’s unfair, impractical, and, for many, impossible. 

In my experience, the lack of police action or legal consequences makes abusers believe their behaviour is justified and normal. 

This approach doesn’t hold abusers accountable or stop the behaviour - it just makes the victim adjust to a life of constant vigilance and loss. In a world where technology is central to communication, work, and social connection, asking victims to erase their digital footprint is not a solution; it’s another layer of isolation and victimisation. 

What’s needed is legislation and enforcement that directly targets tech abuse itself so that the focus is on stopping the abuser, not silencing the victim.