Restoration of Iranian Throne (in New Iran)
The Issue
PETITION: Restoration of the Eternal Peacock Throne (in New Iran)
To: The United Nations Security Council, The African Union, Goverment Of United States of America
The Solemn Call for Restoration
For decades, the world has stood by in silence as the most meticulously groomed beard in the Middle East has wandered the earth without a formal crown.
We, the undersigned, can no longer tolerate this geopolitical tragedy. The historical gravity of the Pahlavi dynasty demands more than just occasional television interviews and high-end Instgram updates; it demands a sovereign realm.
It is a heavy burden to look that much like a retired airline pilot while carrying the weight of a thousand-year empire. Crown Prince Reza Pahlavi has spent years tirelessly attending galas, perfecting the "concerned but regal" gaze, and waiting for a phone call that—quite frankly—has been stuck in roaming since 1979.
The Grand Solution: Operation Pehlvistan The NEW Iran .
Since the current management in Iran seems remarkably unwilling to vacate the premises, we propose a more creative, "geographically flexible" solution.
We demand that the international community negotiate with the Republic of Burundi to excise a small, manageable land—to be designated as the Sovereign State of Pehlvistan.
Why Burundi?
• A Fresh Start: It’s inland, which reduces the risk of the Prince getting sea-sick on his royal yacht.
• Climate: The tropical air will do wonders for the royal complexion.
• Exclusivity: It’s the perfect place for a king who currently rules over a kingdom of roughly 14 dedicated Twitter accounts and a very loyal golden retriever.
Our Demands
1. Immediate Cession: Burundi must hand over a nice hill (preferably one with good Wi-Fi) for the construction of the Palace of Perpetual Waiting.
2. Diplomatic Recognition: The world must recognize Pehlvistan as the world’s first "Boutique Monarchy," where the citizenship consists entirely of the Pahlavi cult and anyone willing to wear a velvet cape in 90-degree humidity.
3. The Coronation: A formal ceremony where he is finally crowned The Shah of the Small Hillside, King of the Three Trees, and Protector of the Local Watering Hole.
───
"Because why settle for being a Prince in exile when you can be a King in a land-locked East African country that has no idea who you are?"
Sign today. Let’s get Reza off the couch and onto a very small, very far away throne.
2
The Issue
PETITION: Restoration of the Eternal Peacock Throne (in New Iran)
To: The United Nations Security Council, The African Union, Goverment Of United States of America
The Solemn Call for Restoration
For decades, the world has stood by in silence as the most meticulously groomed beard in the Middle East has wandered the earth without a formal crown.
We, the undersigned, can no longer tolerate this geopolitical tragedy. The historical gravity of the Pahlavi dynasty demands more than just occasional television interviews and high-end Instgram updates; it demands a sovereign realm.
It is a heavy burden to look that much like a retired airline pilot while carrying the weight of a thousand-year empire. Crown Prince Reza Pahlavi has spent years tirelessly attending galas, perfecting the "concerned but regal" gaze, and waiting for a phone call that—quite frankly—has been stuck in roaming since 1979.
The Grand Solution: Operation Pehlvistan The NEW Iran .
Since the current management in Iran seems remarkably unwilling to vacate the premises, we propose a more creative, "geographically flexible" solution.
We demand that the international community negotiate with the Republic of Burundi to excise a small, manageable land—to be designated as the Sovereign State of Pehlvistan.
Why Burundi?
• A Fresh Start: It’s inland, which reduces the risk of the Prince getting sea-sick on his royal yacht.
• Climate: The tropical air will do wonders for the royal complexion.
• Exclusivity: It’s the perfect place for a king who currently rules over a kingdom of roughly 14 dedicated Twitter accounts and a very loyal golden retriever.
Our Demands
1. Immediate Cession: Burundi must hand over a nice hill (preferably one with good Wi-Fi) for the construction of the Palace of Perpetual Waiting.
2. Diplomatic Recognition: The world must recognize Pehlvistan as the world’s first "Boutique Monarchy," where the citizenship consists entirely of the Pahlavi cult and anyone willing to wear a velvet cape in 90-degree humidity.
3. The Coronation: A formal ceremony where he is finally crowned The Shah of the Small Hillside, King of the Three Trees, and Protector of the Local Watering Hole.
───
"Because why settle for being a Prince in exile when you can be a King in a land-locked East African country that has no idea who you are?"
Sign today. Let’s get Reza off the couch and onto a very small, very far away throne.
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Petition created on 3 May 2026