Domestic violence victims often find themselves trapped in a nightmare where those entrusted with their protection fail them. My experience makes it painfully clear. Despite my significant injuries—bruises on my neck and face, cuts that told a story of violence—the police did nothing to bring justice.

We need to change the way domestic violence calls are handled.

I was violently assaulted by my former partner. I was knocked unconscious and left with serious, visible injuries. A neighbor heard what was happening and called the police. When officers arrived, my abuser was gone.

I was injured, traumatized, emotional, and confused. The officers saw my injuries. They spoke with me. They spoke with him. And after a deeply inadequate investigation, I was treated as the aggressor and arrested. 

My abuser had one single bite mark. The only defense from being strangled. 

Women are often arrested for self defense and afterwards have to jump through the hoops of fire for the court system. Many of them have children to care for and full time jobs, like myself. 

I missed so much time from work for months after the fact due to doctor’s appointments for my injuries and meetings with my attorney. I lost time with my three children that I’ll never get back. I eagerly woke before them in the morning to put on make up to cover my bruises so they wouldn’t question me on bruises and black eyes. 

Months have since passed and I’m still seeing a specialist for a broken nose, a head injury, spine injury, nerve damage and more.

Domestic violence doesn't discriminate, but our justice system's response too often does. When reports aren't taken seriously, it perpetuates a cycle of abuse, teaching victims that they can't trust law enforcement to be their advocates. Each ignored plea is another woman silenced, another victim overlooked. The scars of domestic violence are not just physical—they are emotional and long-lasting, tearing apart the fabric of lives and families. We must ensure fair and thorough investigations into all reports, demanding accountability from our police.

The more I learned about domestic violence and trauma, the more I realized that my experience is not unique. There is a dangerous misunderstanding about what a domestic-violence victim is supposed to look and act like.

We expect the victim to be scared, quiet, calm, cooperative, and able to tell their story perfectly.

But trauma doesn't always look like that.

Sometimes a victim is angry.

Sometimes they are hysterical.

Sometimes they scream.

Sometimes their story comes out in pieces because they are overwhelmed and terrified.

Sometimes they fight back.

Sometimes they are silent.

Law enforcement officers need specialized training to recognize these dynamics. They need to understand trauma. They need to understand coercive control. They need to recognize manipulation and patterns of abuse.

They need to understand why victims may behave emotionally, struggle to give a perfectly organized statement, change their account as they begin processing what happened, or initially refuse to cooperate. They need to know how to distinguish defensive or reactive behavior from the actions of a primary aggressor. And most importantly, they need to know how to look beyond the few minutes they spend standing in someone’s kitchen. 

So I am asking for something bigger than justice for myself.

I am asking for change.

I want police departments to establish specialized domestic-violence response teams whenever possible and to require comprehensive, standardized domestic-violence training for every officer who responds to or investigates these calls.

Officers handling domestic-violence cases should be trained in:

Trauma responses and how trauma can affect a victim’s behavior and communication.

Reactive and defensive responses to prolonged abuse.

Coercive control and patterns of domestic violence.

Manipulation, intimidation, and blame-shifting.

Stalking and harassment.

Identifying the primary aggressor.

Distinguishing self-defense and defensive reactions from mutual violence.

Recognizing when an alleged victim may be afraid to speak openly.

Recognizing attempts to manipulate an investigation.

Properly documenting injuries and physical evidence.

Interviewing both parties separately.

Gathering witness statements and available digital evidence.

 Conducting meaningful risk and lethality assessments.

I don’t want another woman to stand in the same place I stood and wonder why asking for help made everything worse. I don’t want another victim to believe she has to be perfectly calm, perfectly articulate, or perfectly traumatized in order to deserve protection.

But the statistics don’t lie.

Women who kill male partners in self defense are sentenced on average to 15 years in prison.

Men who murder female partners are sentenced on average 2-6 years in prison.

90% of women imprisoned for killing a man had been previously abused by that man.

These women often acted in self defense to escape an abuser or protect their children.

A woman or girl is killed by an intimate partner or family member nearly every 10 minutes globally. 

We cannot expect victims to know how to respond to violence. But we can expect the people responding to understand it.

Domestic violence requires specialized knowledge. It requires officers who understand the psychology and patterns of abuse, who can recognize trauma, who can identify manipulation, and who are trained to determine the primary aggressor based on evidence, context, and investigation rather than appearances.

My experience changed me.
I want to use it to make changes.

You can help me demand specialized domestic-violence response teams and comprehensive, standardized training for every officer who handles domestic-violence calls.

By signing this petition, we urge police departments across the United States to commit to rigorous and unbiased investigations of all domestic violence complaints. We call for mandatory training, accountability, and reform to protect victims and hold offenders accountable.

Join me in demanding justice and safety for all victims. Let's be the voice for those who feel unheard. Sign the petition now to bring about systemic change.