EVERYTHING JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE. About a week and a half ago, I was 'served' via email, with the court papers from my son, regarding the child support. WHAT WAS WRITTEN IN HIS 'CERTIFICATION' WAS EXTREMELY DISTURBING.
I honestly didn't think that my heart could break any more than it already has.
(Skip to the ** if you don't need a recap)
As I've stated in previous updates, my son is seeking to emancipate himself and is also asking the court to give him ALL OF THE PAST DUE CHILD SUPPORT ARREARS plus any child support going forward. Also, as I've stated, OFCOURSE I AM FINE WITH MY SON GETTING THE CHILD SUPPORT FROM THIS PAST YEAR- SINCE WE WERE FORCED TO LIVE APART LAST AUGUST, BECAUSE OF THIS VERY SITUATION, AND ALSO OBVIOUSLY ANY SUPPORT GOING FORWARD & EVEN WHAT I OWE HIM FROM HIM HELPING ME LAST YEAR. AND I'M WILLING TO SIGN ANYTHING I NEED TO, IN THAT REGARD.
Last July 25, 2024, we had a child support trial, with so much overwhelming evidence that my ex-husband had been working for cash, hiding it, not paying child support.... I got picture proof from the business's own Facebook business page and sent it to my caseworker. When she called there, the owner lied to her & said that he does not work there & she doesn't know him. I then got video proof of him working there- literally- and admitting in the video that he has been working there. He didn't realize that he was being recorded. The video was sent to my caseworker and she sent ANOTHER letter there and I subsequently got one child support payment out of one check that was finally put on the books. The video got me the trial. My caseworker & the probation officer told me that they were going to request the total amount owed to be paid in a lump sum asap- OVER 11K AT THAT TIME. They requested nothing. The judges in two trials (I appealed the first one) BOTH ORDERED ZERO DOLLARS TO BE PAID. ALSO KNOWING THAT WE WERE JUST EVICTED. AND SEEING ALL EVIDENCE AND MORE- FROM FOURTEEN YEARS AT THAT TIME- OF TOTAL SHENANIGANS. BUT THE JUDGE ISSUED AN ORDER THAT IF HE MISSES ONE PAYMENT, THERE CAN BE A BENCH WARRANT ISSUED FOR HIS ARREST. HE'S MISSED ALMOST EVERY PAYMENT. HE NOW OWES 16.5K. STILL NO ARREST. NO ARREST EVER FOR NONPAYMENT IN FIFTEEN YEARS.
ABOUT A MONTH AGO, I STARTED RECEIVING HARASSING TEXTS & EMAILS FROM MY EX-HUSBAND & HIS FIANCE STATING THAT THEY HAVE HELPED MY SON TO EMANCIPATE HIMSELF & TAKE ME TO COURT TO GET ALL ARREARS OWED, AND THAT WHEN IT HAPPENS, THEY WILL PAY MY SON THE TOTAL AMOUNT OWED- IN CASH- IN A LUMP SUM.
I HAVE SHOWN PROOF TO THE COURTS & CASEWORKERS THROUGH THE FIFTEEN YEARS, THAT HE HAS THE ABILITY TO PAY.
I'VE SENT ALL TEXTS & EMAILS TO MY CASEWORKER. I DESERVE WHAT I AM OWED, UP TO THE TIME THAT MY CHILD RESIDED WITH ME. OVER 11K.
FOR YEARS, I HAVE BEEN THE ONE THAT MADE UP FOR THE LACK OF SUPPORT & KEPT MY SON SAFE, SHELTERED, FED, CLOTHED, HAPPY & HEALTHY AND ALL THE REST OF IT!!!!
I AM STILL HOMELESS. WE ARE STILL APART. I AM STILL STAYING WITH A FRIEND- THREE HOURS AWAY FROM MY TOWN & MY BOY.
** AS IF IT WEREN'T BAD ENOUGH THAT I HAVE TO NOW FIGHT THIS MATTER IN COURT....
THE 'CERTIFICATION' MOTION FROM MY SON IS FULL OF LIES, MISLEADING STATEMENTS, FACTS LEFT OUT....
THIS WAS GUTWRENCHING TO READ.
I'VE BEEN SICK TO MY STOMACH.
YEARS & YEARS OF HAVING TO DEFEND MYSELF FROM LIES (ALL WON!!) FROM MY EX-HUSBAND & HIS FAMILY- IN THE COURT SYSTEM.
THIS IS A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL.
NEVER IN MY LIFE COULD I HAVE IMAGINED THAT I WOULD HAVE TO DEFEND MYSELF- IN COURT- AGAINST MY PRECIOUS BOY!!!!
LUCKILY, I HAVE EVIDENCE TO PROVE EVERY SINGLE UGLY ALLEGATION AGAINST ME WRONG. BUT THIS HAS TAKEN ME LITERALLY HOURS EVERY DAY, FOR THE PAST WEEK!!!
LOOKING FOR OLD RECEIPTS, TEXTS, EMAILS, SOCIAL MEDIA POSTINGS, COURT DOCS, MEDICAL RECORDS OF MINE, SCREENSHOTS...
THANK GOD THAT I HAVE ALL OF IT... BUT ONCE AGAIN, I AM SPENDING ALL OF MY TIME DOING THINGS THAT ARE SO UNNECESSARY AND BEYOND UPSETTING.
And the word 'disappointed' doesn't cover how I feel about what my son wrote and signed his signature to, in those court docs. He has never been a liar. I raised him better than that. I know that he is being highly influenced by my ex-husband, his family and my own family- mostly my brother & his wife- whom my son moved in with this past June, after he graduated. I know that there's also NO WAY that he wrote up and filed those papers on his own. He doesn't write like that and the online JEDS court system is so insanely difficult, confusing and time consuming. There's no way. But, I AM NOT LETTING HIM OFF THE HOOK. I hold him accountable for his actions, as I always have. I refused to raise him like my ex- inlaws raised my ex-husband. Always backing up his lies, adding to them even, bailing him out after bad behavior, over and over and even now. NO WAY. But there were a few tipoffs in the papers that told me that this has alot to do with my brother's wife. Again. I walked away from my relationship with my brother & his wife two years ago. It had been tumultuous since around 2012, after they had been dating seriously for years. She has caused alot of problems for me with my brother- who was my best friend, my mother, my father, other family members, old friends of mine and now, my boy.
And she is a local high school guidance counselor. She has been using her knowledge and skills as a guidance counselor in a very warped way, actually 'guiding' my son into going NO CONTACT with me for NINE MONTHS NOW- since early December. Is this what she would advise one or more of her students to do? Under these same circumstances? A kid who has a single mom that raised him alone, was a good parent, gave him a good life, but had major medical issues a year ago and lost their health insurance at the same time and was owed over $11,000.00 at that time in back child support.... and fell on hard times. Would she advise them to go no contact because that single mother wound up homeless with her child due to those issues and also having no financial help and no real support system? (Which she added to- breaking down my support system). I mean, it all seems immoral. This is also a person who has acted like she's my son's mother, since he was a toddler. (They also decided to have no kids of their own).
What is also just FANTASTIC, is that my ex-husband was served with the same papers as me, since he's the obligor (even though he doesn't pay). I'm sure that he and his family are having a FIELD DAY WITH THIS. I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO CLEAR MY NAME. AGAIN.
I really wish that someone in my large family would stand up, be brave and say something. They know how much I love my kid, what I've been through with my ex-husband and his family, they know that I am a good mother and raised a great kid...
MY RESPONSE IS DUE TO THE COURT BY AUGUST 28TH.
I AM NOWHERE NEAR DONE WITH FINDING ALL OF THE EVIDENCE NEEDED (I DO HAVE IT ALL. THIS IS SO TIME CONSUMING. GOING BACK YEARS TO FIND TEXTS, EMAILS... SCREENSHOTS... COMPLETELY CRAZY) AND ALSO TYPING UP MY FULL RESPONSE.
THIS IS JUST ONE MORE THING TO KEEP ME DOWN. KEEP ME WORKING FOR HOURS AND DAYS, ON UNNECESSARY THINGS. KEEP ME FROM DOING THINGS THAT I REALLY NEED TO BE DOING. I AM NEVER GETTING OUT FROM UNDER!!!! BEFORE THIS HAPPENED, ABOUT TWO OR THREE WEEKS AGO, I TOOK HOURS & HOURS TO FILE- TWICE- FOR AN EMERGENCY HEARING WITH FAMILY COURT, ONLY TO BE DENIED. DENIED TWICE. THEN, LAST WEEK I HAD TO APPEAR IN COURT IN ORANGE COUNTY, NY REGARDING THE CHILD SUPPORT- BECAUSE NJ CHILD SUPPORT SERVICES INSISTED ON MAKING IT A NJ/ NY CASE AGAIN. THIS WAS A HEARING THAT NY INITIATED ON MY BEHALF- AS TO WHY HE HASN'T PAID & HAS VIOLATED A COURT ORDER. ONCE AGAIN, I SPENT HOURS AND EVEN AN OVERNIGHT WITH NO SLEEP, PREPARING ALL OF THE YEARS OF EVIDENCE AND WRITING A VERY LENGTHY STATEMENT. ONLY TO APPEAR AND HAVE MY EX-HUSBAND, ONCE AGAIN, BE A NO SHOW. AND STILL NO ARREST. 
THIS WHOLE YEAR, ALL I HAVE WANTED IS MY BOY BACK. EVERY SECOND OF MY DAY, I WANT MY BOY BACK. I MISS HIM BEYOND WORDS. I LOVE HIM MORE THAN HE WILL EVER KNOW. MY DAYS ARE FULL OF SADNESS AND TEARS AND MEMORIES. I'M STILL IN SHOCK. I NEED MY LIFE BACK. I NEED MY BOY BACK. AND HE NEEDS ME. WHETHER HE REALIZES IT RIGHT NOW OR NOT. I RAISED A GREAT KID. THIS WHOLE THING CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. WE WERE BEST FRIENDS. HIS FATHER FAILED HIM. AND THIS SYSTEM FAILED US.