Require Healthy Relationship & Abuse Education in every School

Some stories are uncomfortable to tell. Some conversations are uncomfortable to have. But silence helps no one.

I know because I’ve lived it.

My name is Jalena Henry. I’m a mother, a domestic violence survivor, and the author of Surviving HIM: The Journey of What It Really Takes to Heal After an Abusive Relationship.

But my experience with domestic violence didn’t begin in adulthood.

It began when I was a child.

I witnessed domestic violence at a young age, long before I even understood what domestic violence was. I didn’t have the knowledge, the words, or the understanding to recognize what I was witnessing. I was simply a child being exposed to things no child should have to experience, without fully understanding the impact those experiences could have on me.

Years later, I found myself experiencing abuse in my own relationship.

And looking back, I can’t help but wonder how different things might have been if someone had taught me what healthy love was supposed to look like.

What if someone had explained the warning signs? The manipulation? The emotional control? The difference between someone loving you and someone wanting power over you?

Would I have recognized certain behaviors sooner? Would I have understood that some of the things I was experiencing weren’t normal, healthy, or acceptable?

I’ll never know.

But what I do know is that no child should have to grow up, experience abuse, and then spend years healing from something they were never taught how to recognize in the first place.

Abuse Doesn’t Always Leave Bruises

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that abuse doesn’t always look like abuse when you’re living through it.

Sometimes it’s manipulation disguised as love. Control disguised as protection. Jealousy mistaken for passion. Emotional abuse that slowly convinces you that you’re the problem.

Sometimes it’s being isolated from the people who love you, having your reality questioned, or feeling like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.

And sometimes the damage is so gradual that you don’t even realize how much of yourself you’ve lost until you’re trying to put the pieces back together.

I know what it feels like to question yourself, to have your experiences dismissed, and to rebuild your life after a relationship that nearly destroyed your sense of self.

But I also know that healing isn’t something anyone should have to navigate alone.

We cannot keep waiting until someone is already in survival mode before we decide to teach them what abuse looks like.

Why We Need to Start Teaching Our Children

As a mother, this issue means even more to me.

I think about the little girl I once was, witnessing things I didn’t understand. And then I think about my own children and the countless other children who may be growing up in similar environments right now.

Some children are witnessing unhealthy relationships before they’ve ever experienced a relationship of their own.

Some are learning what love looks like from the behaviors they see around them, without anyone explaining the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships.

And some may eventually carry those misunderstandings into their own relationships.

Witnessing domestic violence does not mean a child is destined to experience abuse later in life. But every child deserves the education and support that can help them understand what they’re seeing and recognize unhealthy behaviors.

We teach our children about bullying, drugs, internet safety, and physical health.

Why aren’t we making healthy relationship education and abuse prevention just as much of a priority?

Why are we waiting until young people become victims or survivors to have conversations that could have started years earlier?

Prevention begins with education.

And education can give young people something many survivors wish they’d had sooner: the knowledge to recognize warning signs, establish boundaries, and understand that love should never require them to sacrifice their safety or sense of self.

What We’re Fighting For

I’m calling on state lawmakers, education departments, and public school districts to establish age-appropriate, evidence-based healthy relationship and abuse-prevention education in public middle and high schools.

This education should include:

Recognizing Different Forms of Abuse: Teaching students about emotional, verbal, psychological, physical, financial, and digital abuse, including the fact that abuse does not always leave visible injuries.
Understanding Manipulation and Control: Helping young people recognize gaslighting, coercive control, isolation, intimidation, threats, and other behaviors that can develop into abusive relationship patterns.
Healthy Versus Unhealthy Relationships: Teaching the difference between love and control, respect and fear, healthy communication and manipulation, and affection and possessiveness.
Boundaries, Consent, and Self-Respect: Helping students understand personal boundaries, mutual respect, bodily autonomy, consent, and their right to feel safe in relationships.
Recognizing Early Warning Signs: Providing students with practical examples of unhealthy behaviors so they can recognize concerning patterns before those patterns escalate.
Breaking Harmful Relationship Patterns: Helping young people understand how witnessing unhealthy relationships can influence their expectations of love, while reinforcing that they are not destined to repeat what they’ve experienced.
Knowing When and How to Get Help: Teaching students how to safely seek support, identify trusted adults, access community resources, and help friends who may be experiencing abuse.
These lessons should be inclusive, trauma-informed, and delivered by properly trained educators or qualified prevention professionals, with appropriate safeguards for students who may currently be experiencing or witnessing abuse.

This is not about teaching children to fear relationships.

It’s about teaching them what healthy love looks like, what abuse can look like, and that they deserve relationships built on safety, trust, and respect.

Turning My Pain Into Purpose

I wrote Surviving HIM because I wanted to turn one of the most painful chapters of my life into something meaningful.

I wanted women who have experienced abuse to know they aren’t alone. That healing is possible. That rebuilding yourself is possible. And that your past does not have to determine your future.

But somewhere along my journey, I realized that my purpose could extend beyond helping people heal after abuse.

I want to help prevent someone from having to experience it in the first place.

I cannot change what I witnessed as a child.

I cannot change the relationships I experienced as an adult.

And I cannot go back and give my younger self the knowledge, guidance, or understanding I wish she’d had.

But I can use my voice today.

I can speak up for the little girls and boys who are witnessing things they don’t understand.

I can advocate for teenagers who are entering their first relationships without knowing what warning signs to look for.

And I can stand alongside survivors, parents, educators, and advocates who believe that education is one of the tools we can use to help prevent future abuse.

My story is only one of many.

And that’s exactly why this conversation matters.

Help Us Create Change

I’m asking parents, educators, lawmakers, survivors, advocates, and community members to stand with me in calling for healthy relationship and abuse-prevention education in our public middle and high schools.

By signing this petition, you’re supporting a call for education policies that equip young people with the knowledge to recognize abuse, understand healthy relationships, establish boundaries, and seek help when they need it.

We may not be able to prevent every abusive relationship. But we can stop treating education about abuse as something that should only happen after someone has already been hurt.

Sign this petition. Share it with your community. Start conversations in your homes, schools, and organizations.

Let’s give the next generation something many of us didn’t have: the knowledge to recognize unhealthy love before it becomes their normal.

Because the next generation deserves to learn what abuse looks like before they have to learn what surviving it feels like.

Your story helps another woman live.

— Jalena Henry
Author of Surviving HIM: The Journey of What It Really Takes to Heal After an Abusive Relationship