As I'm sure you're aware, The Penis Woodland is getting the chop.

It will be replanted in the exact shape, but this petition in particular is to replant the phallic forest with native Scots pines - because  P I N E S are an anagram of P E N I S.

 

 

 

 

It is a commercial forest, and the current crop has reached the end of its life. It's classed as an 'ancient woodland', but has been felled and replanted many times.

A shepherd who works on the estate said this last year:

"We feel for the safe keeping of the wood itself it has to be done sooner rather than later as the damage will get worse and it will look nothing like a 'T' in a few years if we don't. We plan to get it back to its former glory ASAP. This is not for any financial gain, once-replanted and fenced it will probably leave a loss."

"There's a lots of trees down which will be rotting and a lot that are still standing are dying swell. We've sorted these things before but eventually comes a time where you need to cut your losses and completely fell it and start again. If you want it to have any chance of staying the shape it is for hundreds of years to come it's the only way to do it.

The trees that are healthy are a fair height and now that there is so much space for wind to get at them by the time you planted more and the time it takes them to grow the big trees would be down on top of them in the next storm".

 

 

 

 

Scotland Forestry stated "The area is required to be restocked with an appropriate mix of tree species, helping to ensure a sustainable woodland long-term."

Whilst this is good news, the appearance of this Cock-of-the-North in decades to cum won't be quite as uniform, neat and tidy compared to planting only pines, and the world always needs more willy.

*Whimsy.

 The world needs more whimsy.

But whatever happens, rest assured that this mighty wood will indeed, rise again.

 

🌳🍆