Without a doubt, we live in a truly momentous time, never before equalled, and very unlikely to ever be equalled in the future – the era of Donald J. Trump.

Despite having an election stolen from him, the Donald has managed to make his mark on history: not one, but TWO impeachments. The only president ever convicted of a felony (well, like 34 of them). The first former president convicted of a crime. The only convicted felon to be elected president. First Presidential Mugshot. The list goes on and on.

History is full of people  who have forever etched their names in humankind’s history by building massive monuments and then sticking their names on them: The Pyramid of Khufu, the Library of Alexandria, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, Hadrian’s Wall.

But what’s even more brilliant than building a monument to yourself? Re-naming things that previously existed anyways. And nobody re-names things better than the current administration: thanks to this crack team of former Fox News celebrities, vaccine-skeptics, cast-off WWE CEOs, and nepo-babies, we can now enjoy the Kennedy-Trump Center, Gulf of America, and hopefully soon, glorious Lake America.

However, America is about innovation and giant leaps forward. These are mere pedestrian and lackadaisical re-brandings.  Now is the time to find a monument actually worthy of Our Dear Leader’s stature and legacy. Something big. Enormous. Massive.

Enter the Ridge Landfill.

Located in Chatham-Kent, Ontario, Canada, this landfill sprawls across an awe-inspiring 186-hectare site. It takes in a jaw-dropping 1.3 million tonnes of garbage per year. This is not just a mere dump. It’s big. It’s massive. It is unequivocally the biggest and most beautiful dump you’ve ever seen. And it’s a monument to an unprecedented amount of garbage. Is there any more appropriate and beautiful way to honor the "Victory 45-47" President of the United States, than with something so entirely full of absolute crap?

Our Demand:

We call upon the corporate owner and operator of this facility, Waste Connections of Canada Inc., and the Ontario Ministry of the Environment, Conservation and Parks to right this long overdue injustice. We ask, nay demand, that you immediately drop the dull, unimaginative name of Ridge Landfill, and instead, re-christen this colossal monument to garbage, excrement, and waste with the only name worthy of America’s Felon-in-Chief: The Donald Dump.

So, my fellow Canadians, and indeed, citizens of the world - run, don’t walk! Get out there now - sign and spread this petition and let’s MAKE WASTE MANAGEMENT GREAT AGAIN!!!!!