If you are care-experienced, or a birth parent, or an adopter, stepparent, or even a kind supporter. You may understand why the use of the term "real parent" can be highly offensive and harmful to everyone involved. The BBC are inconsistent in its use of this term. In one article describing how "In law they are no longer the child of their birth parents, and most adopted children grow up without seeing or knowing any of their birth family."  and yet in a very recent article describe how the child "may never know who her real parents are"  this inconsistency shows a lack of true dedication to impartial reporting and not using exclusionary/offensive terms. 

It can be really hard and frustrating for people to ask young people, "well, when are you going to find your real parents?" and just as frustrating and upsetting for parents, both adopters and birth parents, as the use of exclusionary language creates divisions and attempts to legitimise or erase someone's experience of parenthood. As a young adopted adult, I believe that this needs to change and that the response the BBC gave me was simply inadequate justification for not simply making this change of language.

Part of me wonders if they would take me more seriously if there were other voices, other people behind it all, calling for this change. I wish to respond to the BBC with proof that it is a bigger problem than they ignorantly think it is. Adoption and care experience are often topics that are swept under the rug, and it makes sense, they're very emotive topics and historically secretive, but this is 2025, it is time to see some real changes.  Every little movement will eventually mean that one day, lived experience will be truly valued. 

Sign to prove to the BBC this language won't be accepted!

Many organisations and adoption charities today disclose how this language is quite harmful showing how we today need to move past the idea that adoption is second best or to make it trickier for young people to feel they belong by using language that excludes them from the family structure. While the term "real parents" is often used by the general public, they aren't educated into why this is such an inappropriate term whereas journalists reporting on family news stories should be and clearly are by them using the accepted language of "birth family" elsewhere on the site.