Who is affected?

The Army, The RAF, The Navy all the family, friends, the list goes on and on.

What is at stake?

If things don't change it's simple we loose more serving personal and veteran's to mental health and suicide.

If things change, family's not getting destroyed, less burden in the NHS, less homeless veterans. Less drug and alcohol abuse, less domestic abuse, less safe guarding issues. To name a few but the list goes on and on.

Why is now the time to act? and what do we want? 

 

The Regimental Welfare system must be in the position to provide support to service leavers and their families. Currently, suppprt is only available to those deployed in operations. This needs to be an integral component of the resettlement process. In which serving personnel are given information and training that will prepare them for living within civilian life. To include support options, should life become hard after leaving the services. Post leaving contact information must be given to each and every service leaver and their families. To include mental health care, financial services and advice, and housing support. Homeless veterans currently do not have priority at all..why?

 

Currently, veterans must rely on veteran charity support. Why? Veterans have served their country and paid taxes. Why do none of these charities receive government funding? Why are our veterans being neglected by the government? You break us but do nothing in reference to post service care. Why?

 

MOD., Once a service person has signed off/ given notice to end their service and / or coming to the end of their service engagement. They become undeployable within the last 6 mths of their service. This gives them the opportunity to carry out entitled resettlement. However, forces resettlement currently gives you the opportunity to retrade and get basic qualifications for future re-employment. However, personell Under go there transition period alone. Speaking to a vast number of forces veterans, this transition is so daunting it leads to psychological down fall, homelessness, financial difficulties, break up of families, and worst of all suicides. 

 

The aftercare needs to be more after handing in ones ID card, signing the official secrets act, and leaving the camp gate. 

 

Sign posting correctly.

 

It's NOT the service leaver that suffers. It's the partners, the kids, and to whoever is clos to them.

 

More support MUST be provided so that service leavers are not suffering in silence.

 

The forces are quick and very good at breaking a person down and through training rebuilding them into the machine they require to achieve their missions. Uf it is straightforward enough to build a soldier, then it is, of course, just as easy to reset them ready for civilian life, no? 

Service leavers must be taught that: 

It's ok not to be ok.

Reach out and ask for help no matter how small the problem is. Also, exactly where help can be found instantly. Not as is currently the situation where if any support must be first discussed submitted in writing, put to a board and then if agreed given. This is simply not acceptable. People are dying during this bureaucratic "niff naff" period.

 

The drilled in "Buddy Buddy" system has been drilled into us and has worked for decades. Let's now take it into civilian life. We are taught loyalty to monarch and country. This is surely not a one-way door. It's time the door is opened to service leave8rs and veterans.

 

 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE share far and wide. 

And remember spread the word 

It's ok not to be ok. 

Reach out and talk.

It's not just the serving personal or ex personal that are suffering is the family and friends.

This is the view of my step daughter from the age of 11

.In 2006, my mum introduced us to Anthony whom was in the Army at the time. We used to talk through video calls whilst he was away, when on leave he would come to see us before heading home to middlesborough. He put all his time into our family which was wonderful as myself, my brother and my mum had a hard time prior to Anthony coming into our lives. We had experienced domestic violence within the family by my father and we were so happy for my mum to be away from the danger and hurt. We noticed immediately how happy Anthony made her and how happy the whole family became after just a short period of time. It was like he fit right into place with us and we were a proper family again. It wasn’t long after this in 2007 that my mum and Anthony married in the December. I saw my mum beaming from ear to ear all day, Anthony’s family took us all in and treat us as part of their family as soon as we met, I recall spending holidays at Anthony’s mums house in Middlesbrough where I found a new love for crab sandwiches. After the wedding, we would go on to move to Germany with Anthony and leave our old lives behind for a fresh start, this impacted my school and friendships at the time but I was still young and all I wanted at this time was the happy family we had. I could always stay in contact with friends no matter where I would be. We had a hard time with my father trying to stop us from moving but eventually we had to go ahead and we were on the ferry from Dover to Calais before the long drive to Herford, Germany. Our first home together. We had a puppy, Stella, who was like a sister to myself and my brother. She accompanied us on all our trips and house moves. I started school almost immediately which was extremely daunting, I didn’t know what to expect or know if I would make any friends. Moving from one school to another in a different country was scary and the thought of no one liking me or no one wanting to talk to me ran through my mind numerous times. I made quite a few friends there and I was content with life, as was mum, anthony and my brother. We began to call Anthony dad around this time, we didn’t see or hear from our father and we were so happy in the company of Anthony, it felt right that he was our dad and he would be called dad. He was over the mood as was my mum with this decision. Anthony had already been away prior to this relocation, he used to explain everything to us and he even had model tanks which he’d remind us were called guns and he would set them all up into a battlefield and educate us on the army and what would happen on exercise or tour. We’d sit for hours enjoying what was going on and get involved ourselves. He knew everything and we would be amazed. At this time I didn’t understand what actually happens on tour and the impact it has on soldiers out there. After around 1 and a half years in herford we were on the move again, new friends and new home. Again very daunting and scary, I would only be going into year 9 at school but this would be the year to chose my future, I’d have to chose my subjects in school and decide on what I would want to do when leaving school. This caused some stress as when moving they didn’t have some spaces on some classes so i would have to change some options, luckily they had my first choice of child development so i was happy about that I had one class I did want and would enjoy. We settled in again and luckily I made more friends, unfortunately it was hard to keep in touch with previous friends due to different schedules and distance, I believed it would have been easy but I was very wrong. We were now living in gutersloh, Germany. I was going to Kings school and my brother at Haig primary. Our new schools were based on Mansergh barracks in gutersloh, so we would see soldiers and ‘guns’ all the time. We used to feel proud of the army, we would always talk about what we’d seen and what was happening on camp or what tours were happening. We’d always be so proud of our dad and what he was doing at work and even want to go and join him in his workplace. It was in gutersloh that he would then go on tour to Afghanistan with his regiment. When he told us about the tour I became worried, I didn’t know what exactly happened on tour but I knew it wasn’t a holiday or a nice place to visit. Going 6-9 months away from someone who brought so much happiness into all your lives was a hard pill to swallow, especially after becoming so close over the years. I turned out to be a daddy’s girl and would always come to Anthony for everything and anything, I didn’t know what I was going to do when he was gone for so many months. He reassured us that we could talk on the phone now and again and write blueys to each other aswell as send parcels. These were things we never knew about but would soon be the things we would look forward to the most. I would be in year 10 when he would be deploying for tour in Afghan, it felt lonely as the whole regiment would be leaving, not only would I lose dad for months but it would also leave mum and mums friends lonely aswell. We cried a lot when he left for tour, we felt a change in the home, Stella would sleep for days on end and not want to get out or do anything, my brother was still young and would ask questions, I would sit in my bedroom away from everyone and mum was alone. We went so long without hearing a word due to travel and accommodation, we all worried. When we did hear from him phone calls weren’t very clear and we couldn’t really see him. The times we could have a proper conversation would be through a bluey. I would sit on a night and write everything out, I’d always ask my mum to get me more blueys to send as I’d always want to write and tell him everything going on. I’d send so many at a time and sit and wait for the letter back, it would take weeks and it would be a stressful wait. I’d go to the shop with mum to get all his favourite things to send in a parcel and wrap it up nice for him. We’d send all sorts, sweets, chocolates, clothes, games, jokes and pictures. He’d always thank us and have a laugh with us on the phone about what he got. As time went on, we eventually got used to him being away. It was our new normal speaking over letters and phone calls. It was still so lonely but we knew it wouldn’t be forever. I became a lot closer to my mum in this time, I would spend most days with her and want to go wherever she went, I’d sit with her and watch tele on a night, I’d go shopping with her and just be there for her. She became my best friend while he was away. This affected the return from tour for anthony and myself, if became so close to mum that I didn’t go to anthony for help or advice anymore, I didn’t tell him everything like I used to and I wouldn’t ever ask him for anything anymore. It changed the dynamic in the home. Once he was back we celebrated his return with banners and balloons and a buffet tea but he was exhausted from travelling, he sat with us and talked to us but you could see how drained and tired he was. He never explained to us what he saw or what happened on tour but you could see it all on his face. It wasn’t a good tour and it was no ‘holiday’. Still to this day I don’t know exactly what happened on tour but I don’t think I would want to know, I don’t think my mind would be able to cope with what his has had to cope with, all because of a job he enjoyed and loved. That tour changed many people, it changed their mindsets and their happiness. Dad would always try to be happy around us and he would always try and brighten our days like he used to, he would always be successful too but this was all whilst battling a silent battle in his mind. He would go on to drink more, to forget and to ease his mind from the things he’s experienced. He lost a lot of close friends and I would see him upset more and more. Dad just didn’t seem like dad again after Afghan. He was still so loving and caring but broken at the same time. It wouldn’t take much anymore for him to break down or snap at others. It was as if there was more anger inside of him. I love him more than anything but all I wanted was dad from before Afghan. As time went on the PTSD worsened, he wouldn’t talk to anyone about what he was battling, I don’t know if he felt ashamed or if he just didn’t believe how he was feeling. It affected our relationship massively. Once a daddy’s girl before tour, then mums best friend after. I can’t imagine how this must have made him feel, or what was happening for himself in his own mind. The man that returned from Afghan was still my dad just in someone else’s mind, a mind that wasn’t meant for him and a mind that he didn’t deserve. He will always be my rock and my supporter and my dad. But he will never be the same happy person he was when I met him. We’d go on to move once more before dad left the army. That last relocation felt different, he wasn’t as happy as he was in his old regiment, there wasn’t as many friends around or support, it felt like a completely different move for us. I wish there was more help provided for him on his return from Afghan because maybe then we would still be as close now as we were before he left, unfortunately we aren’t this close anymore. I’d love to had dad back, the happy care free man that would be up and about everywhere with everyone and make everyone laugh and smile. He was always the joker, I miss that.