Peter Hitchens was recently seen bestriding the narrow streets of Oxford like a colossus, refusing to take the knee like the crowds he walked among, who were campaigning for the removal of the statue of Cecil Rhodes from Oriel College. 

If Oxford City Council do end up caving to this woke horde (surely some among them are Oxford students, and yet 'colonial' was bizarrely spelt 'collonial'), this petition demands that the statue of Rhodes be replaced by a cast iron statue of Peter Hitchens. His image should glare down in despair at the generations who follow both him and us, with a plaque beneath it saying TE MONUI - I WARNED YOU.