Chapter One:The Early Years 

When I was born at the end of the 1970s, my father was found walking aimlessly around the hospital grounds in a daze believing that both his wife and baby had died from childbirth. My birth (not that I can remember it) and my entry into the world had not been an easy one. From day one, I had to fight to survive an emergency birth which turned out to be a very complicated birth experience for both my mother and I.  

My family were considered to be middle class. Both my parents had degrees and were well educated. My mother worked in the NHS and was very well respected in her field of work. However, there was one problem, living with my father was like walking on eggshells. If you looked at my father the wrong way or if a door accidentally slammed shut in the wind, all hell would literally break loose. My father also had a toxic relationship with alcohol and would become extremely violent when the booze in his system was wearing off.  As the eldest child, I had all the firsts. I was the first to receive a beating, the first to have my head smashed against the wall and the first to be pinned down with my father on top of me punching and kicking lumps out of me. While this was going on, my mother would shut the door, close her eyes and pretend that this domestic violence wasn’t happening right under her nose in her happy home. For my mother, ignorance was bliss.

This was my life. This was my childhood

Chapter Two: Domestic Violence is Exposed  

When I was just twelve years old, after I received my usual beating off my father, I went to school with an open head injury after having my head smashed into the wall. This was my normal existence at home. I never complained. I just got on with life. 

On this particular day, my friend asked how I had injured my head. I began to write down that my father had hurt me when our teacher intercepted the note between myself and my friend.  The teacher was just about the read out the note when he relented and discretely called the nurse who, in turn, called social services.

When social services came out to speak to my family at the school, my mother found the whole episode rather humiliating. Instead of telling the truth, she protected my father. She lied to social services saying that I had caused the head injury myself and had self-harmed, saying that I was a relentless attention seeker.  My mother and father were both well-spoken and social services and the school believed their version of events and from that day forward, I was seen through a lens of having ‘behavioural problems’. At home, I became the scapegoat and official reason for my father’s alcoholic fits of violent rage towards myself and family. 

My mother would just shut the door, sigh, close her eyes and ignore my cries of help, asking repeatedly why I was such a problem child whenever my father drank himself into oblivion.  

Chapter Three: Age Twelve - Drugged and Diagnosed as Schizophrenic 

Unfortunately for me, my mother knew a doctor who supported her quest to provide a ‘label’ for me, to use this as a beating stick to hit me with. The adult psychiatric label schizophrenia came in handy and became a good excuse to explain my father’s unpredictable mood swings which protect my father’s alcoholism from coming into the light. However, this label was not given to him, but instead given to me when I was just twelve years old.  

The doctor gave my mother all the ‘evidence’ she needed to pursue a diagnosis. My mother had convinced herself believing the narrative that my father was provoked to act violently by his children and that he himself did not have a problem which needed addressing.  

 At the age of twelve, I was told that my mother was going to take me shopping to Bristol and I remember being so excited. However, when our car pulled up at a psychiatric hospital, I realized I had been tricked and refused to get out of the car. 

 As the security guards pulled me out of the car kicking and screaming, I probably looked like a mad person.  I remember Dr Patrick Cosgrove looking at me with eyes as cold as ice, with no feeling and no emotion. As I sat on the floor in front of him, the security officers dragged me from my parents’ car. I remember the feeling of being totally unprotected and betrayed by my own parents. I felt totally abandoned and all alone.  

Dr Cosgrove had already diagnosed me purely on my mother’s description over the phone.  I was only a child and I had not even uttered one word to him when he told me, “Rebecca, it’s not your fault you are schizophrenic.”  

Chapter Four: Sectioned & Sexually Assaulted in an Adult Psychiatric Hospital

By at the tender age of twelve, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and drugged. This was all done to prevent the truth of my father’s domestic violence coming into the light. 

I often wondered why my mother made me drink orange juice everyday. She made sure I drank every last drop of it. I found out the answer to this question when I was an adult after I read my Subject Access Requests which showed I had been given a few adult diagnoses and a cocktail of about ten pharmaceutical drugs which were put in orange juice. When I was a child I often had a fuzzy-head and I remember thinking that maybe my mother was right about me being mentally ill, as most days my head was so drugged, I couldn’t think straight. I would fall asleep in school and on one occasion, I fell into a pond. I attracted the attention of school bullies who noticed my sleepy comatosed state and I felt powerless to defend myself. I was totally unaware that my own parents were drugging me.

My home life and the relentless school bullying was too much to deal with. My environment had created an oppressive, depressive impossible existence and I did not want to live anymore. My mother took this as a symptom of my ‘illness’. But the reality was that the drugs, the violence and constant abuse resulted in a very unhappy childhood life.  

After I had fallen into a pond, Dr Patrick Cosgrove made arrangements with my mother to have me sectioned into the local adult psychiatric hospital. I was a child and should not have been admitted into an adult psychiatric hospital.  

Around about this time, my brothers all received psychiatric diagnoses too

Of course, I did not want to go into the adult psychiatric hospital. I was a child, and I was not going willingly without a fight. I remember having my trousers pulled down several times by about five or six big strong male adults. They would pin me down, inject my backside and sedate me. I was left for hours on the bed in a vulnerable state and goodness only knows what else was done to me without my consent. I had no privacy and had to shower with male staff watching me. I remember one night being terrified as a man, a male patient, who was about five times my age climbed into my bed and sexually assaulted me. I was a child. There was no safeguarding in place, instead I felt as if I was being hunted and placed in harm’s way by those who should have been protecting me,.

Years later, Dr Patrick Cosgrove appeared before the GMC. He was struck off for gross misconduct due to multiple abuses towards children. It emerged that, this doctor had even drugged and diagnosed toddlers with ADHD. The drugs that he prescribed to me as a child, destroyed my thyroid and I believe caused later miscarriages. Some of the drugs that Dr Cosgrove prescribed to me were Lithium, Haloperidol, Imipramine, Quetiapine, Fluoxetine, Ritalin, Amitriptyline, Olanzapine, Risperidone, Ritalin, Clozapine, Chlorpromazine and more.

I am not sure how much money Dr Patrick Cosgrove made out of me from the pharmaceutical industry, but as a result of what he did to me, my thyroid was destroyed by his actions of years of medicating me with a barrage of strong anti-psychotic drugs when I was a child. My later miscarriages were linked to the side-effects of these antipsychotic adult drugs on my developing preteen body.  

Chapter Five: Freedom from Control. 

When I returned home, I couldn’t cope with my father’s continued violence, so out of desperation, I rang the Samaritans and they found me a place in a hostel. As soon as I was sixteen, I was free.  

The hostel was a scary place. I had to put a chair up against the door. I was surrounded by drug addicts along with their needles left in the corridors and empty cans. But it was 100% better than living in the hell I called home. 

Don’t get me wrong I love my mother and father. And no matter what they did to me, I wish no harm on either of them. But I lost my childhood to continual abuse across different settings which rendered me voiceless.

I found out when I was about 24 years old, that I was unable to claim benefits as my mother had been claiming DLA for me, without my knowledge or consent for years. I hadn’t even lived at home for several years. I had to convince the lady on the phone that there was nothing wrong with me and then the benefits were stopped. Whilst experiencing my newfound freedom, I met and fell in love with my son’s father in the hostel. Like me, he was there in the hostel because of a difficult home life. Things didn’t work out between my son’s father and I. He wasn’t a bad person, just we were very young and inexperienced in the ways of the world. I successfully brought my son up single-handedly and am proud of all his achievements. Currently, he has graduated from university and a well-adjusted young adult.     

Chapter Six: Fast Forward Three Decades to 2019

Due to not learning what normal boundaries were growing up, I did not want to attract abusive partners and so had to educate myself and learn what a normal relationship looked like. I counted myself extremely lucky to have found the man of my dreams. He was kind and gentle. He didn’t have an aggressive or violent bone in his body. To me, he was the perfect man and after being with him several years, we carefully planned to grow our family. Due to having multiple miscarriages, I paid for private specialist treatment before conceiving my daughter Amy. I was planning to leave Wales to move to England with my partner and believed I had the perfect life. 

Since the effects of the adult polypharmacy had badly damaged my pre-teenage body, I experienced recurrent miscarriages. I did three and a half years’ worth of research. I paid 15K privately at St Mary’s Hospital London and other places, for blood tests, diabetes, thyroid, hormone, an endometrial scratch, hysteroscopy, a surgical operation to correct an arcuate uterus, the removal of endometriosis and received a full miscarriage screening, along with immunology tests. It is highly likely that the multiple drugs that I was forced to take as a child changed my developing preteen body and caused these difficulties.  

Amy was my miracle baby. 

Please read Dr Patrick Cosgrove’s public domain media reports about his professional negligence towards scores of children and young people. It is a shame that the GMC failed to edit and redact the false diagnosis from any of Dr Cosgrove's victims' medical records because this blip in the system resulted in my baby being taken off me.  

Chapter Seven: The Importance of Agencies Being ACEs and Trauma Informed 

Due to having PTSD and a fear of hospitals, I was already hypervigilant by the time I was admitted to the hospital to give birth to my second child. Since this baby had been carefully planned, l had already contacted breastfeeding experts, read best practice research papers and had prepared myself as best as I could for the birth of this much wanted child. However, I did not expect to have such a traumatic birth that left me so badly injured that I could not walk, drive, needed crutches and required a repair operation two years later.  Both myself and baby had a traumatic birth, but as I had done months of research into the benefits of breastfeeding babies for at least the first six months to strengthen their immune system, I was determined to give my baby the very best start in life.      

Whilst I was at the hospital, I thought all the staff were lovely. It was only after the fourth day that I noticed a distinct shift in their attitude and demeanour towards me. Their once pleasant helpful manner turned into hostility overnight. I found the truth out and the reason for their shift in their attitude. 

Four days after my birth, apparently, staff had been told at the hospital to access my medical records and PARIS notes as they were led to believe that I had hidden a schizophrenia diagnosis during my pregnancy. 

Instead of coming to speak directly to me, using a person-centred approach so I could explain that Dr Patrick Cosgrove had been struck off by the GMC for gross misconduct for drugging toddlers and children, the staff whispered about me behind my back. I did not have the opportunity to explain that since Dr Patrick Cosgrove had unethically given adult diagnoses to children, this resulted in all his adult psychiatric diagnoses on children being obsolete. 

Not one staff member double checked the accuracy of their data. None of them double checked their evidence or checked the public record. Instead, the multi-agencies’ violation of Article 18 of the GDPR impacted upon my baby and my little families’ HUMAN RIGHTS HRA (1998) - Article 6 - Right to a Fair Trial and Article 8 - Right to a Family Life. 

I was discharged from hospital with my baby late in the night when she was 13 days.  It had been a hard fortnight. The staff had diagnosed both myself and my daughter as having sepsis. This was due to the prolonged 29-hour labour, and we were both exhausted. It was heart-breaking to see my newborn baby being put in a baby unit where she was put as nil by mouth by staff to remove her infection. Her crying was chilling as hospital staff explained that they had to starve her to get rid of the infection. My newborn baby, like most newborn babies, lost a bit of weight and I believe that this procedure contributed to this. However, by the first month, Amy had regained her birth weight and some more, she was happy and healthy. Amy was a beautiful little girl. By two months, Amy’s records show that she consistently and continually put on weight.         

My baby was just ten weeks old. I had been home with my baby on my own for the majority of the time since we arrived home as the paternity leave had been eaten up by the first fortnight in hospital. My partner lived in England, and we were planning to all move there once the house was ready. 

I had visited my GP who suggested having adult social services to help me as I could not walk properly due to birth injuries. However, instead of sending the adult social services team to help me, they sent the children’s social services team to investigate me. 

After leaving the hospital, the community midwives increased their scrutiny of me and I was even threatened with police when I went out for the day with my partner and baby. I constantly felt that I couldn’t have time to relax and enjoy my new baby and had 38 visits from professionals in 8 weeks. 

This is an average of nearly 5 visits a week.  

I felt as if I was being hunted and harassed. I did not know why professionals’ behaviour was odd and completely different to when I had my son. Professionals were not being open and honest with me about discovering the obsolete historical records which they had grossly misinterpreted through an inaccurate lens that put both myself and my baby at risk. The data breach led to my baby being cruelly removed into children’s services and the SARs requests show that the police were considering arresting me.  All of this was done behind my back. 

On the 12th August 2019, I told a community midwife I was considering putting in a complaint about how I was treated at by staff who were threatening me with the police. One month later, I had my baby removed from me after I was told to go back to the hospital under the false pretenses that they were going to help my baby with her colic.  Some might consider this to be pure retaliation, especially given the fabrication of evidence that had to be created and was used to remove my child into care. 

My story demonstrates that there is still a lot of work to do to change a victim-blaming culture that stigmatises, victim-shames and is quick to judge with misunderstanding rather than using contextual safeguarding.  Whilst I was at the hospital, I was on the receiving end of this mental health stigma, shame and blame, even though I did not know why hospital staff were being so hostile. 

I do not have and never had a serious mental health diagnosis as a child or as an adult. I have PTSD because of child abuse and systematic abuse from multi-agencies who did not follow good practice policies. Instead, these unprofessionals worked in co-production to lie, steal and destroy my life with a range of their fabricated evidence which differed greatly from the actual truth.    

What the professionals saw on the PARIS record was evidence of child abuse towards me when I was a child. It was systematic abuse. They should have shown compassion. However, the opposite was the case. Professionals could see my passion to do the right thing for my baby. They all saw how keen I was to breastfeed as I had all my breastfeeding books by my side and as I read, I asked questions to increase my understanding.  Some professionals took the time to engage in conversation and could see my enthusiasm about this topic, while others deliberately became obtrusive and obstructive. Some of the more hostile medical staff started to tell me that I should really consider the benefits of formula. I could see by the way they spoke and their interaction, their motives were not good but instead, they wanted to cause upset and trigger me into engaging in an unhelpful debate. 

Being in hospital was not my favourite place, given my past childhood experiences of being sexually assaulted as a child in a hospital, with no refuge, safety or escape.

Thus, I found the deliberate provoking irritating and tiring.  

My experience shows that there is a huge gap in professionals understanding about mental health. The latest ACES and trauma informed research from leaders such as van der Kolk (2014) who wrote The Body Keeps the Score, Gabor Mate (2018), Spring (2018) and de Theirry (2016) to name just a few leading practitioners, take a kinder, more compassionate approach to establishing meaningful connection. 

The whole point of being trauma informed is to consider the possibility that the person in front of you might possibly be dealing with untold terrors from the past that are too painful to talk about. They might have unprocessed trauma, PTSD or receptive difficulties (hidden disorders) with trigger from past child abuse, domestic violence, a car accident, organisational workplace bullying, etc. Therefore, it is important to engage and connect with the person in front of you to seek to understand that life for them might not have been very easy and kindness (which costs nothing) can make an incredible difference in removing barriers and bringing healing to past trauma.

Unfortunately, this did not happen as I became a target. 

Maybe, some professionals recognised that I was vulnerable, in that, they recognised that I had PTSD. Some professionals appeared to enjoy deliberately provoking me to see if they could get me to react. I believe this because of the exaggerations I have read my SARs. For example, I stood up suddenly after sitting down on the plastic bit of a hospital mattress and when I stood up suddenly, the mattress moved from under me. But instead of telling the actual truth, this was written in the police report that I had thrown a mattress. I would not be physically able to do that, as I was recovering from being in birth for 29 hours, and could not even walk without crutches or drive.  

My experience of the later part of 2019, shows that there are huge gaps between the current practice (which is needlessly harming patients) and best current practice. This illustrates the need for more effective training to up skill and to provide a higher quality service to safeguard everyone from harm.

Chapter Eight: Who are the real Criminals? 

Multi-agencies’ violation of Article 18 of the GDPR impacted upon my HUMAN RIGHTS HRA (1998) - Article 6 - Right to a Fair Trial and Article 8 - Right to a Family Life. At the beginning of September, after enjoying time at home with my baby, I was requested to return to the hospital for professionals to help my daughter with her colic. However, these professionals lied to me. Their true motive was to remove my daughter off me and they lied to me to get me to return to the hospital under false pretences of helping Amy with her colic and reflux medication.

So, here’s the multi-million-pound question: Who are the real criminals? Because over the next few months, I was about to have the most incredible misfortunate of coming into contact with:

1)   A social worker who frequently lied in court and in meetings about me. In March 2021, this social worker made the ridiculous allegations that I had forged my baby’s Red Book. This was an absolute lie, and this social worker was exposed as being a liar. Social services issued an apology on her behalf. However, I was still being told by social services that I had needed to admit a false reality. I have always been told there will NEVER be an opportunity to get my daughter back home. I was told the best I could hope for was once a month supervised contact for an hour, until she turns 18.  

2)   A social worker fraudster, who scammed cancer victims out of their savings. She was put in charge of writing my parenting assessment on me, even though I am not even sure she is a proper social worker, because only a scammer would scam vulnerable cancer sufferer out of their savings, not a real social worker. 

3)   A FII (fabricated induced illness) doctor who had previously appeared before the GMC due to his connection in the Roy Meadows scandal where 5000 children were wrongfully removed from their families. Nicknamed Josef Mengele by some parents of SEN children, this doctor, whose name has been anonymised, used lies, manipulation, deception and fabrication to remove my daughter off me. 

4)   Dr Mengele's nurse who entered information incorrectly and made a mistake on my baby’s percentile chart.  She apologised to me for making the mistake. Then it has emerged she took this inaccurate percentile chart and it was used as fabricated evidence to remove my baby under an EPO (Emergency Protection Order 72 hours later). 

5) My contact supervisor (a family member of my ex) lied about me on contact supervisor reports to stop me from seeing my child. I have video evidence to prove her lies. It is written in SARs, that 4 days after Amy was born, this person on the 2nd July went to midwives on the maternity ward with her 'concerns' about my 'mental health', encouraging them to check my medical records which led to them discovering the obsolete child abusive diagnosis of schizophrenia on the PARIS record, But these staff members failed to double check the public record about Patrick Cosgrove. If they had only followed a person centred approach, I would have happily shared this information, but I was not given the opportunity. One of my family members also concurs that this very same person told hospital staff to go and check my historical medical notes not long after I gave birth. Even though this person was fully aware that the diagnosis was obsolete and from childhood abuse. This person also trained to be a mother and baby foster-carer while I was pregnant and despite living in England became employed by the Welsh council who took my baby away from me.       

Yet it was I who was being criminalised.

SARS show that the police were considering arresting me based on the lies from ‘Josef Mengele and other professionals who were closely connected to him. 

I have so much evidence which proves what I am saying as the truth. I have the police notes, my baby's weight charts, the breastfeeding expert reports and video evidence.  But once you've had your child removed by social services, even when there is evidence to show the child has been removed on false evidence, the systematic abusive culture in Wales is so corrupt, professionals would prefer to invent more lies rather than apologise and admit that they have made a mistake.              

Chapter Nine: When Things Don’t Add Up, Truth Was Never in the Equation…

 DATES FOR THE DIARY 

1st April 2019- University of Sheffield published ACES TOO HIGH - Dr John’s 6-year thesis.

18/19th April 2019- South Wales Police was sent ACES TOO HIGH  

24th May 2019- South Wales Police launch their ACEs (EAT) Research   

7th June 2019- Deadline for Leading Wales Award - evidence shows that Jeremy Vaughan submitted his ACES (EAT) research which was launched just a fortnight before the deadline date and consequently took him two whole weeks to train all professionals under the South Wales region in ACEs. However, either this did not happen or it was not very effective because just three months later when this training should have been fresh in their minds... 

11th/12th/13th September 2019 – No evidence of trauma informed training. Multi-agencies had no knowledge of my ACE score 9, medical negligence, PTSD, significant breaches in professional policies     

29th September, 2019- Jeremy Vaughan received a Leading Wales Award citing his multi-disciplinary training in ACES across seven local authorities which took him 14 days. Jeremy Vaughan gained two promotions citing this work.   

The maths equation should have been:

Multi-agencies + Jeremy Vaughan’s trauma training = ACEs friendly organisations  

So, what went wrong?

One would expect that if Jeremy Vaughan (now chief of South Wales Police) said he had trained all the seven multi-agencies across South Wales Police region in ACES and trauma informed practice - 24th May-7th June 2019, then this should have been evident in their dealings with the public. However, my experience with ACEs 9, which was literally just a couple of months after his training, this wasn’t the case with the nine police and multi-professionals involved with me. Basic maths tells us that something is very wrong and the facts do not add up. 

Chapter Ten: My Worst Nightmare Begins….

During the week starting Thursday 5th September, 2019, when both myself and my daughter were being kept in hospital under false pretences, I had been able to take her for short walks in the pram. I took her to meet visitors in the outdoor area of the hospital, as it was just the end of summer. Being out in the warm weather was lovely, and since Amy had only been suffering from newborn reflux, and was not actually ill, we did this every day since our admission to the hospital on 5th September 2019. 

Walking around the hospital like a free person had not ever been a problem with the hospital staff. As far as I knew at this point, we were only there due to Amy’s reflux, which was considerably better due to an increase in the reflux medication she had been prescribed. 

However, on 10th September 2019, when I did the same thing, walking Amy in her pram, all of a sudden hospital staff made out this simple act of talking my daughter for a stroll in her pram was an ‘emergency’.  I was all of a sudden treated like a criminal for no reason. 

The reactions of the staff made out as if I was ‘abducting’ my own baby. We had just seen a doctor, and I thought Amy was likely to be discharged as her reflux had been successfully treated at this point, and she was now much more comfortable and happier. 

However, when we saw the doctor on the ward round, he made no mention of discharge, which I found surprising. After he left, I put Amy in the pram, and decided to go down to the hospital concourse to get a coffee and to sit with Amy outside for a while. She enjoyed watching the leaves and being in the fresh air. 

Despite there being no problem on any day prior to this, on this particular day, just as I was coming out of the lift with Amy in the pram, I was all of a sudden chased and surrounded by doctors and nurses. They also sent a 'mental health nurse' to 'talk me into going back to the ward'. This whole episode seemed crazy to me, especially when security guards were called to back them up, The SARs show that the hospital called the police multiple times when I was only taking my daughter for a walk. I wasn't even going anywhere, only to get a coffee.  

The security guards stopped me from going any further, and wouldn’t give me any explanation why it had been ok on previous days, but not on this particular day. I found it quite frightening and bewildering. They escalated the situation further and further, to the point where I was extremely upset, and people in the foyer had begun to film us on their phones, and it became an extremely humiliating spectacle. All I did was walk my baby in her pram.

More and more staff joined in surrounding me with my baby. As time went on, I was eventually, out of sheer humiliation and fear, forced into handing Amy over to a nurse, and head back to the ward. I was never given any explanation for the sudden change of rules, or for the negation of my parental rights. 

Three days later, when I was suddenly asked to appear in the family court, I read in the file that it had been documented by the hospital staff that I was trying to take Amy from the hospital, and that it was an ‘emergency situation’ that staff had ‘successfully de-escalated.’ This is completely untrue.

My keys, my iPad, all our clothes and my wallet were all left on the ward. I was simply going to the hospital concourse to get a coffee and some fresh air with Amy, to get a break from the ward, where in all honesty, we no longer really needed to be now that Amy’s reflux had been successfully treated, and she was now comfortable and happy.

The truth is that the staff had deliberately fabricated the whole situation and escalated it to make it appear as though it was something that it wasn’t. SARS for the police evidence that one person, Dr Mengele had called the police multiple times to create a socially engineered situation to deliberately embarrassed and humiliated me in public. They then brought in a mental health nurse to persuade me to hand her Amy, and force us back to the ward. 

In hindsight, I can see that all of these incidents were being socially engineered, in order to create the ‘evidence’ they needed against me, in order to obtain a court order to successfully remove my child without giving me a defence, 

Chapter Eleven: My Three Days of Hell 

On the 11th September, 2019, just months after all multi-agencies had been apparently trained in ACES and were all trauma informed (under the now chief of police who gained TWO promotions for his ACES training), police and other multi-agencies violated Article 18 of the GDPR. They used and abused their positions of powers to unlawfully remove my baby from me using fabrication and lies

The FII (fabricated induced illness) doctor who had previously appeared before the GMC due to his connection in the Roy Meadows scandal where 5000 children were wrongfully removed from their families, used lies, manipulation and fabrication to deceive other multi-agencies who colluded to remove my daughter into care.

On the 11th September, 2019,  I remember it well, I met Josef Mengele (not his real name), who had no specialism in breastfeeding as he was a specialist in fabricating illnesses. He told me that I should stop breastfeeding because he said so. He gave inaccurate information expecting that I should just accept it, comply and listen to him as his role was superior to me. He told me that my baby was not putting on much weight and that breastfed babies put on more weight than bottle-fed babies, which is factually incorrect. 

I had researched best practice for months and had engaged with breastfeeding experts, so I knew Dr Mengele was acting outside his role, remit and was factually incorrect. This doctor did not like being corrected and he was without emotion. Dr Mengele spoke like someone with no soul and in a monotonous tone like a robot he delivered the message that my baby didn’t have reflux, even though that’s what all the other doctors had diagnosed and medicated her for. Dr Mengele chilling words still haunt me, “She’s crying because she’s hungry and you need to sort out your mental health’. 

Incidentally, this was the day when I was later accused of throwing a mattress across a hospital ward which would have been an incredible feat for the Incredible Hulk, let alone someone who had recently just given birth and couldn’t walk due to birth injuries. I found out this absurd allegation, along with other fabrication when I later read the court file full of far-fetched fiction.    

After Mengele had left, I asked the reception if I could speak to Dr Mengele once more. It was at this point that the doctor sent a psychiatrist to see me. We spoke briefly and he confirmed to me what I already knew, there was nothing wrong with my mental health, just because I dared to challenge the opinion of Josef Mengele. 

The next day, on the 12th September, 2019, Josef Mengele was all of a hive of activity. According to police SARs, a total of nine different police officers were contacted over this time period. All of this was going on behind my back and I had no knowledge just how much my research and interest about breastfeeding had upset this doctor. 

To someone looking in on this situation. it might have appeared that this doctor’s actions were deliberate retaliation against someone who dared to tell him he was wrong. 

Although, organising a multi-disciplinary meeting and contacting nine police officers to remove my much-loved baby for no reason is an extreme form of retaliation, but it is consistent to the same standard of behaviour from the original Josef Mengele.

Something very interesting happened on the 12th of September. Just before Dr Mengele's nurse left in a hurry to attend an important meeting. She took Amy’s weight and I watched her write it out and then she apologised for plotting it incorrectly on the percentile chart in my daughter’s Red Book. This nurse made a point of telling me that she had made a mistake. This nurse also was the last nurse to weigh my daughter before she was removed into care. She was responsible for writing the last two weight entries down. 

It is now evident that this nurse attended the multi-disciplinary meeting that issued an Emergency Removal of my child. Her ‘mistake’ was used as fabricated evidence to suggest that my baby had lost weight when in actual fact, my daughter’s weight continued to consistently rise (after the initial natural weight loss after birth which is normal for most babies). 

The police SARs contain lies. Some of these lies include that I was mentally ill. They had accessed the obsolete PARIS notes and the police documentation suggesting that I was starving my baby and her organs were shutting down and she needed to be hospitalised. However, if it was the case that a baby’s organs are shutting down and they need urgent hospitalisation, then how was that same baby discharged and handed over to foster carers who took her straight into their home the same day. The police SARS show how the hospital exaggerated and created a crisis. Within just 10 minutes of each other, TWO DIFFERENT police stations were contacted, and nine police officers involved. I only met two female police officers and other police who I had not ever met, were happy to write false reports about me. These reports were given as fact and used to remove my baby into care. 

There was no regard for honesty, integrity, fairness, respect, objectivity and truth, which are the professional police standards, let alone any form of trauma informed reporting. 

Chapter Twelve: Mother Knows Best

After having so many family members with milk allergies, which results in painful rash and eczema that bled all over the face, head and body, I purposefully sought out to ensure my baby avoided this pain through breastfeeding and staying dairy-free myself. In the hospital, they did not really cater for dairy-free so I went without to ensure my baby had pure breastmilk that would not affect her in an adverse way.  I had done loads of research and spoken to so many experts in breastfeeding, so I could make informed choices for my baby. However, no matter how much I tried to do my best, to read up NICE and WHO guidelines, there were out-dated-professionals who went out of their way to act outside their qualifications, roles and remits to  tell me I was wrong, and they were right. 

Dr Mengele, the Fabrication specialist doctor who was supposed to be an expert in child abuse yet failed dismally to recognise that fact that I had been a victim of severe child abuse myself, thought it was ok to use my obsolete mental health records as a weapon against me to re-victimise and abuse me in the most horrific way. I had been through the most horrific childhood abuse, but the abuse from this child abuse expert was the worst I ever endured. 

Dr. Mengele used my childhood obsolete diagnosis as a tool to remove my child from me and he conspired behind my back leaving me without a defence.  

Dr. Mengele wasn’t the only inept professional I was unlucky to meet. It became apparent that the two policewomen who had been called to a multi-strategy meeting which took place behind my back, were not very well qualified either. As soon as they opened their mouths, it was clear they had not undertaken any research or had spent hours reading up about breastfeeding either. Instead, just like Mengele, these policewomen were happy to rely on inaccurate, incorrect and fabricated information to remove my baby into care.  

The only officers I actually met after this secret strategy meeting, were two policewomen. Their conduct towards me under these extremely shocking and distressing circumstances, was nothing short of appalling. I was an exhausted, birth injured new mother, who was exclusively breastfeeding, and had been subjected to three months of harassment and bombardment from health ‘professionals’ who had been given inaccurate information regarding my mental health, and even if any of the information they had been given in this secret strategy meeting had actually been correct, (which it was not,) the way in which these two officers treated me, in delivering the information that I was no longer permitted to enter the ward where my baby (who I was exclusively breastfeeding) was being held, was absolutely horrifying. 

I was treated with cruelty, and my natural distress and shock was mocked. I was told by a female DC that I had ‘borderline personality disorder’ (which isn’t even the false diagnosis that I was actually given in childhood anyway!) and that I had lied about it, and that this situation was my fault. I was also told I was a bad mother for ‘starving’ my newborn daughter by exclusively breastfeeding her (again not factual). 

I couldn’t even process or properly take in what they were saying to me at the time, as I was naturally in so much shock and distress. I still experience flashbacks of this awful interaction to this day. I tried to explain to them that one of the reasons I had chosen to exclusively breastfeed, and was opposed to using formula milk, (apart from the obvious immunity benefits and the WHO and NICE guidelines, stating that exclusive breastfeeding is best up to six  months of age, and that ideally breastfeeding should continue for the first two years of life and beyond), was partially due to a family history of cows’ milk protein allergy, and severe eczema. 

My other child, myself, and one of my siblings all suffered with this, and it was something I hoped to spare my daughter from.

 The other female responded to this by rolling her eyes at me, and replying that the hospital staff wanted to give my baby formula, not cows’ milk. When I responded to her by asking her if she was aware that baby formula is in fact modified cows’ milk, she looked very shocked, stuttered, and did not respond. The very obvious lack of any education in this subject matter by these officers, was very apparent. 

 In contrast, I had done extensive research in my pregnancy, and also previously, when I had my eldest child, who I also exclusively breastfed, and I had been advised by IBCLC breastfeeding specialists on my best course of action in feeding my daughter. 

 These officers had no idea about any of this, but yet I was being told I was wrong, and that I didn’t deserve to be a mother. Neither of these officers gave me any indication of the chain of events that were about to unfold, or what the fate of my daughter and myself was going to be, even though they had full knowledge of the intentions of social services, due to their attendance at the strategy meeting. All they told me is that I could not re-enter the ward where my baby was being held for 72 hours, and that if I attempted to do so, that I would be arrested. I didn’t really understand why or what for, and they made no attempt to enlighten me, but in my exhausted brain and suffering from shock, I obviously complied. 

 I remained in the hospital accommodation until the following day, and continued to express breastmilk every 3 hours throughout the day and night, and send it to the ward for my daughter’s feeds. I naively thought that in 3 days, I would be able to see her again. I had been told by the policewomen that she was only under an EPO for 72 hours, after all. 

 Neither of the officers made me aware that there would be a family court hearing the following day, or that the intention was for my daughter to be removed from my care to be put into foster care. 

Chapter Thirteen: And Just Like That, My Daughter Was Gone.  

On the 13th September, I was told that I needed to go to court. I presumed that it was because I had challenged this doctor’s different opinion about breastfeeding. I had breastfed previously. He had no experience of breastfeeding. I had done my research and I challenged what he was saying and told him he was inaccurate. I thought I was in court due to this difference of opinion. No one had told me why I was requested in court and reading through the SARs in 2022, these police documents show that the doctor was annoyed about being told he was wrong about breastfeeding. The police report states that my daughter was removed from my care due to a difference of opinion with a healthcare professional. It is there in black and white.   

I didn’t discover the reason for court until I received a phone call from a social worker, who gave me only 40 minutes notice to get to court. They forced my child’s father to go to the court without me. Despite the fact that they all knew he had to drive me everywhere as I was using crutches and was temporarily unable to drive due to birth injury.  

 I’m certain that the intention was that they believed I would not make it to the court in time for the hearing without transport or money. However, I found the nicest kindest taxi-driver ever, who took me to court and told me I could pay the taxi fare back. 

I still had no idea what I was going to court for, as it had not been explained to me. But after managing to arrive at the court via taxi, a file was put into my lap, and this is when I finally discovered that the intention was to remove my daughter into ‘care’, and that a foster carer was already at the hospital, waiting to take her home with them that day. 

Amy did actually go into foster-care as they intended, but my partner had been told that they were going to put Amy up for adoption, unless he broke his relationship with me. They were threatening that she would end up adopted and he would never see her again unless he broke off his relationship with me. He was also told lies that Amy’s organs were shutting down which was absolutely not true.  Telling someone misinformation to control them is called coercive control which is an imprisonable offense, yet it was the professionals in Wales who were using coercive control and fear to forcibly cause a divide between my partner and myself. United we stand. Divided we fall. They used the divide and rule strategy on us to forcibly remove our daughter into care. It was done so deceitfully and at the time, there was nothing I could have done to stop it.

I was unaware of the Local Authority Forced Adoptions business where local authorities are given money when they successfully adopt children, It was set up by Tony Blairs' Labour Government in the 1990s. At today's prices, one child is worth £37.059; two children £59,771;  three children £81,289 and four children are worth a whopping £93,241 (2024 prices). It sounds unbelievable, but the picture above right at the top of this update, proves it is fact.        

No effort whatsoever had been made by social services to ask my family members to take Amy in the interim, to avoid her going into foster care with a stranger. This was despite the fact that multiple members of both my family, and my daughter’s father’s family would have been willing and eager to do so. 

The court hearing was simply a formality, and a foregone conclusion. By the time I returned to the hospital from the court, my 11 week old baby had already been taken by a foster carer. If her organs were really shutting down, then she would have not gone home with a foster-carer. The video of Amy on the day she was taken, shows a healthy, happy little girl.

The police SARs reads that, the police were concerned that preventative measures should be put in place to protect my mental health because they deemed me as being a risk due to the childhood fictitious schizophrenia diagnosis. No safeguarding or prevention measures were ever implemented. 

I left the hospital to an empty house full of baby toys, but with no baby. I was still unable to walk, drive or even try to comprehend what had been done to me.  And if I did have mental health problems as they believed, their unethical behaviour would have resulted in my suicide. 

If I had GENUINELY had any mental health issues, as the multi-agencies wrongfully believed from the inaccurate historical notes, then this shambles of a situation would surely have ended in a suicide. The conduct of all involved, and their treatment of me, was absolutely abhorrent. 

Chapter Fourteen: Safeguarding You from Systematic Abuse. 

I know how extremely unlucky in life I have been. But equally, I know how extremely fortunate I am to have met some wonderful people along my journey who have selflessly given so generously of their time without so much as taking a penny.  No one knows where these unethical ‘unprofessionals’ lurk, so I want to pass on some knowledge to forearm you. 

Since knowledge is power, this knowledge will protect you.

So, if you come across an ‘unprofessional’ like Dr Mengele, who will not have your or your children’s best interests at heart but will see your child through the lens of being worth at least £37K (by 2025 prices), these strategies are given to you to keep your children safe. 

• Ultimately, trust no one.
• RECORD EVERYTHING.
• Find a solicitor a long way away. If in Wales, find a solicitor in England. 
• NEVER sign anything (you could be signing your child away)
• RESEARCH EVERYTHING.
• Send for your SARS (subject access requests)
• ALWAYS COMMUNICATE THROUGH EMAIL SO YOU HAVE A PAPER TRAIL
• If something does not feel right, it probably isn't.
• If you are asked to attend a hospital appointment when your baby is not ill, alarm bells should be ringing.   
• WRITE A DIARY TO LOOK FOR PATTERNS.
• Submit Subject Access Requests to every public body involved to find out if lies have been written about you. Unethical professionals behave unethically, it is all done behind your back, without your knowledge or consent.
• Don't keep talking about what has happened to you because it only keeps you stuck in trauma. Talking puts you back into the emotional brain which keeps you stuck reliving the horror. Instead write down and journal everything. Journaling puts your brain into logical problem solving mode enabling you to see patterns, recalling key people and incidents, which will help you to make sense of your experiences. Also writing things down will help you to devise a strategic plan to move forward.     

Chapter Fifteen: Please Stand Up, Reach Out and Speak Up….

As soon as my daughter was wrongly taken from me, I began my tireless journey and determined fight to get my daughter back. My daughter has missed out on years without her mother. I was also prevented from working with children, even though I have a clean DBS. The reason for this is because the false narrative that I starved my baby is being put forward as a barrier to to prevent me having a family life and being able to work in my chosen field with children. How could I be starving my baby if I was breastfeeding my baby and my daughter was gaining weight? 

None of what has happened to me makes any sense.

I do believe professionals saw me through my childhood schizophrenia diagnosis which the GMC should have removed from my health record when they struck off Dr Patrick Cosgrove. I was also very unlucky to come into contact with Dr Mengele, who had already been investigated by the GMC, along with Roy Meadows, for falsely removing over 5000 children from their parents.  

Since South Wales Police and the multi-agencies have been trained by Jeremy Vaughan, who is currently rolling his trauma informed training programme across the UK, we need to be assured that there is an effective plan of action to stop the wrongful removal of children using fabricated evidence happening to anyone else. The public needs to know what steps have been taken to protect others, from what can only be described as 'legal human trafficking'. 

We need to be a society that stands up and protects all victims of abuse. Together we need to pursue truth and justice in challenging all forms of modern-day slavery and stop legal human trafficking to create a safer future for our children. We need a Public Inquiry to put the wrongs right, as child protection is everyone’s business. 

If you have been moved by my story and would like to stand with me or reach out to me, you can do this in different ways. You can reach out to me by joining my Facebook Page Rebecca Clarke (not my real name), writing a letter of support to me through messenger/ email at Rebeccaclarke13@gmail.com. You can watch my story being discussed (names changed) in an interview between Dr John and Janet Willicott on YouTube https://youtu.be/7TB-L20dhms You can find the academic case study in the published book “A Trauma Informed Perspective of Corruption in the Family Court in Wales’ (Baker and John, 2021).  

Together we have to turn the tide… Our children are depending on it! 

Thanks for reading my story. 

Rebecca Clarke xx