My mind, my body, my spirit is broken. My brain cannot comprehend what has happened. I'm mad as hell and I'm torn to pieces.

This is my story, this is Scarletts story.

You have noticed I have been absent, at least some of you, and I have not communicated with anyone besides my family and close friends and ones who sent me gifts.

I have no words but I DO. I HAVE PLENTY on my mind and I don't want to be silenced like they did to me in the court room.

It took only two hours to rip apart mine and my daughters life. A life I have created, learned and grew for the last 3 years. Providing my little girl with a beautiful home with everything she desired. A playroom, a beautiful bedroom, a backyard with a pool and trampoline. I have provided on my own, dance class sense she was two, which she calls 'tap tap' and soccer. I enrolled her in a Christian lutheran private school. Scarlett has a membership to everything you can imagine, kidspace, aquarium, national geographic museum,  children's museum, butterfly pavilion etc. She had all this plus more, more importantly she had a mother, a role model, someone who loved her during every tantrum, every poopy diaper, every meal that I spent hours cooking for her not to eat ( because.. well she's 3 and mac n cheese is life or no life), every hour I lost sleep, just to make sure she was okay or to hold her because I wanted to snuggle, every struggle to get her hair brushed or for her to put on shoes.. I lost all of this with endless love and patience. With every struggle, I loved her more, I loved myself more. I will never stop loving her till the end of time, I will make sure of it.

I was surprised, deer in the headlights, frightened, when I heard that there was thought of relocating to another state, I was told this two months ago and was  immediately served for primary custody and relocation of Scarlett.

I lawyered up, I stood strong, I believed in my heart that we would WIN. She would be able to stay here, to continue to blossom, to grow and learn with her mother, her friends and family.

But I was wrong.

I wake up now in the middle of the night or in the early morning hearing my baby cry in her room but instead.. its not her.. its myself waking up from the tears in this nightmare that I can't escape.

I sleep with her pillow and her blanket and her mini mouse everynight and pretend that mini mouse is her or I hold 'simba' the kitten I got her and cradle him and love him as if my baby was in my arms again.

I walk around the house aimlessly/ blindly/ pointlessy, looking at all her toys, her clothes in her armoire and smell her dirty ones just to be close to her and remember every detail about her.

I put her doll furniture back in her doll house and organize it, just waiting for her  excited look to see it again, as this is what I would always do when she was gone.

I had to call her preschool and her dance class while I cried/ sobbed, telling them the story. I'm  now procrastinating going to her school to clean out her cubby, it will just cause to much pain. Her artwork hung on the wall, I have to take down and her family picture of her and I, I have to take down. Pre- school no longer exists.

I had to cancel all her daycare and gym stays while I worked out or took care of myself while also being a mother and a human. This wasn't easy. This no longer exists.

I hold my womb and cradle it as if she could somehow still feel her momma and I touch my heart in hopes she can still feel mine as I feel hers.

I haven't held down a meal sense November 2nd when this happened, I wake up throwing up and I go to bed throwing up. I'm pale, I'm weak and I'm broken.

My baby doesn't understand that she won't see her mom for awhile now, she has no idea whats happening or can't grasp the idea that she is even out of state. She is waiting until our exchange, our exchange that she is so used to but will not happen. I haven't seen her in 8 days and it already feels like a life time.

My daughter is now in Oklahoma, I never got to say goodbye to my baby.
I get to visit her whenever I want, I am suppose to be allowed to talk to her whenever I want, this is not happening.

I did however, get to speak to her for 10 minutes on facetime earlier. She asked me to kiss her booboo and hold her, I tried to hug her through the phone and I tried to kiss her wound, nothing is the same, I just want to kiss her and hold her but I'm stripped of that feeling and she is stripped from feeling her mother's love.

I'm now looking as I speak to buy a second home in Oklahoma and file charges their to get her back home where she belongs.

I am still fighting here in Colorado and I will never stop fighting until my dying breathe. This was injustice, this was wrong and this will be changed.

There is no more to the story. That's it. There are no hidden secrets. What you see on social media is real, every piece of it and that is my out pouring love I have for Scarlett and her love for me.

Now:

I am calling upon the Justice system. I have spent countless days and nights crying, exhausted, confused while writing this message. Never sure if it was going to hurt me more, but at this point, what do I have to loose, you robbed me of my daughter.

You call yourself a judge, you promised while coming into the court of law you would judge fairly, you lied.

You didn't even look at me, you didn't even hear me, you didn't even care what you did to mine and my daughters life. I was was just another case to get by so you can get home as soon as possible.

You failed. You failed my daughter and I and you have failed to make a responsible EASY decision.

I am proactively involved in fathers and advocating for them but did you even listen...

You ripped her away from her friends, you ripped her away from ballet and tap, you ripped her away from soccer, you ripped her away from preschool, you ripped her away from her animals, her room, her playroom, colorado, where she was born and everything she ever knew; you ripped her away from me. Never once in court was it proven that I was an unfit mother. I have gave my child a perfect life for the 3 years she has been in this world. I have loved her, cared for her, fought for her, been with her, breastfed her, nurtured her, kissed her booboos, rocked her to sleep, fed her and motherd her as God chose me to do.

But NOOOO, your decision to relocate my daughter to a different state without even letting her say goodbye to me was wrong.

You made your decision because I had an anxiety attack months prior to court. THAT IS IT. I had an anxiety attack, read that again. An anxiety attack. Not because I'm mentally unstable or ill but because I am a human being. You destroyed my little girls life and you have made me cold and numb all because of that? I never neglected, abused, had substance abuse, coparented unfairly, provided a non-stable home and career etc. What was your reasoning!? It has YET to be proven.

I ask you to remove these orders and rethink them. I am appealing everything, I am putting in motions, I will never stop fighting till my last breathe. My daughter deserves a better life than the one you claimed she will get. You will never not here my name or my daughters.

You have destroyed lives, you have killed me on the inside. You have broken me. A once happy, blessed mother.. to a now fight or fight one. Thank you though, thank you for burying me and then allowing me to come alive again and bring justice to this unfair world.

I have no choice but to work even harder than before, to buy another property near her because you never heard my voice. To work day and night on making the money I can to pay the courts off to allow real justice.

The love I have for my child is unbearable and I will do measures and move mountains to get her home.

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Friends, family I NEED your supporting love, we need help and we need it as soon as possible. Just to visit my daughter costs 250.00 or more for a plane ride, which I plan on doing every opportunity I get. Court fees and appeals are thousands and thousands of dollars.
PRAY. PRAY, PRAY, AND PRAY. I need hope, I need guidance and I need strength and I ask you to help. I need my village and I need you quickly.

Today,I had my first meal, it was only soup but its a start. Each day I will get stronger.
I love you all so much. �

I am also sorry for any father or mother going through this, if you need guidance or someone to talk to, please reach out to me, as I need it to. No parent should ever be without their child, ESPECIALLY if that parent is a good one. These children are our future and we cannot allow the justice system destroy them or strip them from parents who just want to love their children. We need them healthy and loved, realistically, they will be changing our diapers one day.. we better deserve it.

I stand with all of you.  Both fathers and mothers and my heart reaches to you.

Please share this petition and make others aware of our corrupt system.

I'm just one out of millions who go through this and I hope we can come to together as humans and love each other in these hard times.