Sue Gillet shares her harrowing experience of her time at AHAR. It was shared on Facebook page Animal Heaven Animal Rescue AHAR Exposed and makes for chilling reading. #IsTHISRescue Sorry this has been a long time coming. No doubt screenshots of the many times I swore I would never ever comment on this page will now be produced – I don’t care – I have to do this for the animals. Am I another disgruntled ex -volunteer? Too right I am after what I saw. I hope this is not too little too late and I hope this will encourage others to do the same. No-one has asked me to do this – I am doing it not because I want to but because I have to. I’m not expecting anything in return – no thanks, no sympathy, no forgiveness – nothing. No doubt there will be reprisals as Sharon has found out but it has to be done. First I owe everyone on this page a sincere, heartfelt apology. You were right all along – it took me such a long time to see it for myself. I was conned and manipulated by an expert – no excuse. I take back all the times I used the word PATHETIC in relation to this page – I was the PATHETIC one for believing all the lies. I wish I had seen this page before I volunteered because I would never have gone there. Jutta – sorry for not replying to your question “you ok?” after I left - the answer would have been “No” then and over a year later it is still “No.” Kelly likewise – I did ask about your horses – sorry but she hasn’t a clue where they are – she can’t tell you. For newcomers to this page, I was a volunteer at AHAR between Jan 2015 and 2016 during which time I defended the manager who I thought (at first) was a saint rescuing animals. I took the photo of the ‘smiling’ donkey which I deeply regret because it gave her so much credibility – you won’t find it on my Facebook page. If it raised a lot of money for the animals then I’m delighted – she told me it didn’t but that was probably just one of the many lies. Why did I volunteer? Like so many I fell for all the sob stories on the Facebook page – sucked in by stories of the resident dogs, Passion and Honky. I didn’t volunteer because I wanted to but because I had to. Now I wish I had never ever set foot in the place. Anyone who thinks I just walked away and didn’t look back think again – after all this time it is still in my head every day. I go to sleep thinking about it and wake up thinking about it. By the time I left I was nearly a stone lighter (there was too much to do to stop and eat) and was so stressed I developed an irregular heartbeat and had to see a cardiologist. During one visit to my GP I just sat there and sobbed. There is more but I won’t give her the satisfaction of knowing what it did to me. She saw me coming a mile off, sussed I was a hard worker from day one, gave me my own keys on my second visit and said I could come any time I wanted. It wasn’t long before I went from just helping the kids look after the dogs to opening up, checking all the animals at the start and end of the day, looking after all the dogs in the arena on my own, locking up and a whole lot more in between. By the end I was getting up at 6 and not getting home until midnight some days. She loved the fact that I’d volunteered at the RSPCA in the UK because it gave her credibility. There is absolutely NO comparison between the RSPCA I volunteered at and AHAR. It was everything AHAR is not. Years after I left the RSPCA I am still in touch with the people I met there – all I want to do is forget I ever heard of AHAR. By the time I left I hated it. When I was first there I thought it was fine even though it was never the Disney film portrayed on the Facebook page but then I was only there once a week so I didn’t see the whole picture. I was still working then so I could only go on a Friday or Saturday (public day) - the days when there were plenty of kids volunteering. There were about 8 of us or more cleaning just the kennels in the arena on my first day but soon after I was doing them all by myself and that was the case until I left. (When I left work and started going during the week it was a totally different picture. On a good day there were 3 of us, often only two and sometimes I would realise I was actually there on my own and hadn’t a clue where the others were). There weren’t too many animals at first and there were regular workers. The resident dogs would be let out of their room all day for the benefit of the public – I loved them all and still do. I suspect that is what it is like now since the RTE investigation – with not too many animals thanks to the CRA restrictions and since the con of the Code Reds has stopped. I know she will have cleaned the place up before she invited all her friends to visit knowing they would post glowing reports (including the vulnerable young woman who had a holiday there – no mention of the fact that it had been arranged for a few weeks earlier and she was left crying with her bags packed forgotten by her hero). Did I know about the Code Red scam? Absolutely not – I wouldn’t have donated to them if I had. I offered to sponsor one of the horses one time but she wouldn’t take my money because she told me they had raised €16000 overnight. I was gobsmacked. I wonder where the horse she named Sue is now? I left soon after that. At first I just helped the other volunteers clean, water and feed the dogs in the ‘kennels’ in the arena and top up the shavings. There was time to spend with the dogs in those days but even then they were hardly ever walked. In all the time I was there I only ever walked a dog about half a dozen times at most – two of those times were for videos for the Facebook page. I was shown a field that was meant to be for exercising the dogs which just needed a gate – tragically like so many things it never happened. Kelly you were right when you said you have to go more than once - you could go every Saturday for years and not have a clue what its really like. The lucky dogs were the ones that came in and were selected to go to the UK because they weren’t there very long. It was so bad in the end I used to tell them ‘you’re lucky, you’re getting out of here’ as we loaded them on the van. Some of the long term dogs will probably never get out of there – they are all just caged animals with no life whatsoever. There was a big cuddly bear of a dog which she said was a killer – I never saw him out of his kennel – he used to lean up against the front of the kennel and put his paw up – he never so much as growled at another dog when I was there. There were dogs which were there when I arrived that were still there when I left including Hunter whose photo was on the page recently. There were two dogs who just ran around and around in circles all day. There are so many dogs I would love to know where they are now – did they get out of the place or are they still there? Dogs I still cry over. I was soon told about the ‘hate’ campaign and believed her when she told me it was jealous ex- volunteers who wanted to take over – what an idiot. It was a constant topic of conversation and drove me mad – all I was interested in was looking after the animals but I soon began defending her on the other page still thinking she was a saint. One of my comments was posted saying how there were no horses in the arena, no animals in cages, no animals in the old house, the manager was always there etc. That was true at that time – I didn’t lie – BUT it was a totally different story soon after. There were dogs everywhere especially after the spending spree at Ballinasloe fair – in cages in the dark vet’s room with a freezer full of dead animals, in horse boxes, in dog boxes, tied up upstairs, in the dog van, in the small shed near the old house, in stables, upstairs in the old house. The kennels in the arena were full to bursting before I left – they took all day to clean etc. When the ‘meatman’ saga started there were horses everywhere too – far too many in each stable by the time I left. I can confirm that the photos posted on this page previously were taken upstairs in the old house – I went in and checked. Later there were a lot of pups up there which all died. I did not believe at the time that the photos of the horse carcasses posted on this page were taken at AHAR but I now I know who took them I absolutely do believe it. I did not see any myself but there were fields at the back of the farm that I never went in. In the post I also said the manager was always there – that didn’t last either. I hardly ever knew where she was and it was sometimes impossible to get hold of her. She certainly wasn’t there when I was on my own and had to pull 7 other resident dogs off Dinny after they turned him on his back and were all attacking him (another day one of them ripped open his stomach when no-one was looking), wasn’t there when one greyhound nearly killed another before I could separate them, wasn’t there when I was bitten by a dog trying to stop her killing another (not for the first time), wasn’t there when I had to round up all the horses when they had escaped from the arena overnight, wasn’t there when I had to rush poor Rose to the vets when she was very sick, wasn’t there when I had to pull Pippa out of the tack room when she was so bad she could barely stand up, fell over and the others were attacking her, wasn’t there when I had to free a horse with its leg stuck through the wire fence (it could have been there all night), wasn’t there when I found a pony which had slipped so its front legs were stuck under the stable door (it could have been there all night), wasn’t there when I had to grab some of the resident dogs (including poor Pippa) out of the way of a stampede of horses. Even worse – for all but one of the above NO-ONE ELSE WAS THERE EITHER!! I was there for her though when she cried all those crocodile tears especially when she told me she’d come home from a trip to find one of her own dogs had been ripped apart by the others, when she rang me from Ballinasloe fair asking for money, when the dying Firefly injured JM so badly he couldn’t work for weeks, when she needed me to stay awake all night with Camelot after a day at work and then stayed on all the next day. I wanted to leave so many times but I just couldn’t. I told her I didn’t want to be there not long after I started – I should have walked away then. I even went there 3 days a week after I finished work even though deep down I really didn’t want to - it was a huge mistake. As I said, most of the time there were only 3 of us to look after all the animals but often only 2 of us and at times just me. She usually arrived later in the day to look after Passion but was always on the phone. I bought a small van which I got rid of when I finally left because it reminded me of the place every time I got in it and I threw away all the clothes I wore at the place too. Why didn’t I leave before? I can’t even begin to answer that. Others on this page will understand. I just couldn’t for the animals’ sake but also because she has a hold on you. Its something I can’t put into words. I wish I could. Its like being part of a cult – you are just totally brainwashed. You think it won’t happen to you. I even said I’d defend her to the death when I left – crazy - and I did defend her even after I left. One volunteer who sat in a kennel and sobbed over what she saw when she was there is still supporting her – that’s the hold she has. Most of her most loyal supporters and ‘team’ members have left at some point yet are back defending her again. I doubt most of them have any idea what they are defending (at least I hope not) or how she speaks about them. She played everyone off against each other. I worked to different rules to the others – for example I was told to feed the dogs twice although nobody else ever did but you didn’t argue – just did what you were told. As Jennifer said on this page, she is very good at manipulating people – she practically heard my life story in the first few minutes we met. When I said I didn’t drink she said she didn’t - I knew even then that was a lie. When she said she didn’t look at this page I knew that was a lie too – this page is responsible for many improvements at AHAR for which I thank you all. She had a bad cough one time probably from smoking – told me she had TB or cancer – another lie to keep me there. She chased after me to make sure I’d heard her say I was her best ever volunteer on live (it wasn’t) television – to keep me there. She even told me once that she wanted me and G… from P..S to take over if anything happened to her – more lies to keep me there. Once I was hooked she dropped the saintly act and I witnessed the uncontrollable temper and the hysterical rants as so many have. So far from the saint who likes people to think she rides horses on the beach with her 3 legged dogs. I only once made a joke at her expense – I didn’t do it again. Nor did I dare say ‘I’ or ‘we’ need more dog food – always ‘you’ in case she thought I was trying to take over. No-one but no-one tells her what to do – no committee will have the guts to tell her what she can or can’t do let alone sack her. I know what I saw at that place along with plenty of other witnesses including Sharon. Thankfully I was rarely at her house so was spared the sight of the poor fox and her other dogs in the garage. There comes a point where she doesn’t care what you see or hear. I saw poor Camelot punched in the face, a dog put in a dog box as a punishment for fighting, a dog shouted at and put in a cage in the dark vet’s room for biting through a lead, a dog left outside in a dog box in the cold, her shouting ‘there’s only one boss’ at volunteers (including me) and even at a dog , a dog tied up to a stable for days, same dog tied up upstairs for days, dogs tied up on short leads so they couldn’t lie down, the 2 cows stuck all day every day in a stable, a ginger cat in a cage in the vet’s room with dogs in cages for days crying to be let out, Passion in a stable day after day getting fat, a work experience girl witnessing a dead pony tied to the back of a jeep and towed out of its stable, the same buckets used for shit, food and water, Camelot’s sores from the straps holding him up, a dog gave birth in one of the kennels – her pups died one by one, I was asked to cover up a dead pony before visitors came, stop anyone taking photos, go to the gate to tell people she wasn’t there when she was and so much more. If there is one lesson I learned its never believe what you see on Facebook and never trust anyone. All many of the thousands of supporters know about the place is what they see on the Facebook page – it is so far from the truth. The story of how she whispers to the pound dogs they’re safe now – crap – she doesn’t even pick them up herself most of the time. The photos you see of the pound dogs – what you don’t see is what goes on behind the camera. One time I stood there whilst she screamed hysterically at her phone and threw it on the floor over and over, two of the younger kids in background holding the next dogs to be photographed terrified of her - one of them half my size put her hand on my arm and asked if I was alright and was I scared. All the supporters saw on the page was a cute dog with its tongue hanging out. Those same small kids who were afraid to go in with some of the horses, who asked me to help them clean the stables but I couldn’t because I still had my own work to finish, wanted a hug from her one time but had to settle for me instead. I don’t know how she knew that the dogs were good with other dogs, cats and children when they had only just arrived. I guess if they didn’t bite a dog or one of the kids or chase the feral cat on the way in then they were fine. The reality of Old Danny’s birthday video – her moaning all day because he’d expect a drink (never got it) and she’d have to get him a cake and make a fuss. The man she said was like a father to her yet she was happy to let him walk all the way from Castleisland to the farm in all weather, I often gave him a lift if I saw him and then took him back to Killarney so he didn’t have to walk all the way to Castleisland again and wait for a bus home. After all he did for her and he was ill. Honky – a volunteer and her sister were on the receiving end of her temper one day and never came back. Later she told me she had seen her hit Honky that day. Passion - spends all day in a stable getting fat and only taken out for videos and photos for Facebook. The tv interview with Mike the donkey – me leaning against his backside and DM to one side so he couldn’t move during the interview. The resident dogs – When I was first there they were locked in the tack room at night – a dark room with filthy shavings on the floor and sometimes with a small dog in a filthy cage. I took on the responsibility of cleaning it myself after a while because it was so bad. Even after a hole was put in the outside wall and a small run was made for them and the shavings removed it was still disgusting. The run was just a toilet not somewhere they could lie in the sun or exercise (see cover photo on this page). They had blankets and old sleeping bags to lie on but water came in and soaked part of the room and the bedding nearly every night. She said they were all killers and couldn’t be rehomed – crap. Thankfully some of them were kept out of the room by the time I left. At first they were all allowed out to roam free but that was mainly for the benefit of the visitors and me. The very first day I started working during the week the first thing I was told was don’t let the dogs out. One day she brought Badger with her and stormed off leaving him behind and ranted at me because I rang her to say she’d forgotten him. They would follow me all the way to the gate but not her. Her main supporters who are often mentioned are rarely at the farm. Her most loyal defenders have probably only ever been once or twice if at all – they have no idea what its really like and I regret not telling them when I had the chance. One of her supporters set up a Facebook page recently to raise money to sue the main ‘haters’ on this page – it was taken down of course – she does not want any of us to stand up in court and tell the world what she is really like or what she has done. There would be a queue of witnesses around the block. Ask yourself why so many workers and volunteers have left that place including all the adults that I worked with regularly. I am so glad they are out of there. I asked at the start what would happen if there was ever a fire as there were often fag ends on the floor inside the building. It was my biggest fear. There was no-one on site at night apart from the night I stayed up with Camelot. I don’t believe she ever stayed up all night with any animal. I carried bolt cutters in my van so I could cut the chains off the kennels in an emergency but there were times I couldn’t open the doors to the arena (even with help) because they got stuck and I didn’t have a key for the padlock anyway. It terrified me the thought that some of the resident dogs were locked in the room at night and I didn’t even know the code for Charlie’s prison. The kennels – I was horrified at the thought they were once outside open to the elements. They aren’t proper kennels just fence panels tied together. I often had to repair them so the dogs didn’t escape or get into the kennel next door and fight but it still happened. Sometimes the small dogs would dig their way under the fencing into the next kennel. I remember one tiny dog which was in a different kennel three times one day. They were fastened with chains, bits of rope and old leads – it sometimes took ages to get into them – sometimes I could have cried with frustration because I couldn’t undo one of the chains. Some of the fronts overlapped so you had to go into one kennel to get into the second kennel without the dogs getting in and fighting. I eventually found a company who would do a deal on proper kennel fronts with doors but of course it never happened. I donated towards building a proper kennel block – it never happened – and if it ever does happen I do not want my name on a plaque! I am ashamed to have been associated with the place. At first I preferred the wood shavings to the concrete floors I’d seen at the RSPCA but they really needed to be cleaned out down to the ground and the kennels disinfecting regularly not just keep topping them up week after week. Only once in the year I was there did I did dig them all out – it took all day to do half a dozen kennels so I went back on Sundays to finish them. By the time I left they were disgusting again but I just didn’t have the energy (or the shavings) to do it again. She said she’d get a team in to do it but of course it didn’t happen. I bought new food bowls when I could because a lot of the old ones had a hole in them where they had been bolted to something and ripped off leaving a hole with sharp edges. I cleaned them every time I was there and the water bowls and buckets. I bought dozens of buckets and dog leads and some toys, not to mention loads of food for the dogs and the feral cat and her kittens and shavings. There were so many dogs in each kennel by the time I left that it was impossible to clean them properly, dogs were escaping into the runs because it was hard to get in and out without it happening. I’d come in in the morning and found dogs had got out of their kennels. One day I opened a kennel and a dog escaped into the run, at the same time JM was bringing back dogs from the vets and a dog escaped from another kennel – the dogs were all trying to fight and I was absolutely at the end of my tether. She walked in and said ‘what’s wrong’ and I just turned round and said ‘EVERYTHING’. Later that day she came to tell me she’d had a go at the lads and told them I was threatening to leave – the joke was on her because I really was threatening to leave – had been for a long time by then. The 3 of us were totally pissed off with the whole situation and she knew it. She told me not to speak to the lads, not that we ever had time for a conversation. She was afraid we were talking about her which was disrespecting her - she was right. I have no respect for her. The same applied to the stables – they were either full to bursting with dogs or horses. Trying to get in the stables without dogs escaping was almost impossible and it was very dangerous with so many horses in each stable especially for the kids an or the horses. The Kalen saga - I came in in the morning and found Kalen lying in a stable with his neck twisted round so his head was facing back towards his tail – I was convinced he was already dead. I called JM over, he straightened him out and also thought he was dead but then I saw him take a breath. I left JM to contact the vet etc and carried on checking the other animals. I assumed Kalen was about to die. Later that day I was asked to take a few things from the farm to her house – when I got there the vet was already there and I was amazed to see Kalen lying in front of the fire. I was asked by the vet to hold the drip bag which I did. Not long after the vet left and I went back to the farm to carry on with the kennels. Kalen was still alive when I left. I was not there for the farce of the photos of him with Gismo and the others on top of him or the photos of the manager with him nor did I approve of them. I have been accused understandably of being part of that cruelty. The day of the big inspection – yes it did happen – she knew they were coming of course. She rang me to give instructions but the vet arrived and wanted me to help him check everything. He was frantically writing prescriptions for the medication on the shelves in his room. I had to tell him I couldn’t – she was the boss and I had to do what she said. When she arrived she was ranting hysterically because the blankets which were on top of the shavings in some kennels should be inside the wooden kennels (it was news to me – I’d been there a long time by then and they were always on the shavings). After that I always put them into the kennels even though the dogs pulled them out again. You did what you were told. The vet told me to tell her the inspectors couldn’t see the dogs in the cages upstairs – I had to tell her – more hysterical ranting – no-one can tell me what to do in my rescue. She went upstairs and grabbed one of the dogs by the scruff of the neck to put him in one of the kennels – she couldn’t hold him and undo the chain – he was terrified – I had to take him off her and do it myself – more hysterical rantings. Then the inspectors arrived and she changed into a saint just like that. Afterwards she told me that she told them I was the kennel manager and rotated every other day with JM – pity they didn’t speak to me first. After this page said the inspection didn’t happen she dictated something for me to post on her page. There was just so much to do. When I saw something that needed doing I just did it – the list of things I did got longer and longer. After the lads went home I would stay on for ages tidying up and checking the animals. I was stupid enough to believe she had OCD so kept trying to keep the place tidy so she wouldn’t go mad. There was a sandy area between the kennels. One volunteer came up to me one day looking scared and said she’d go mad if she saw it in a mess. After that I used to sweep it at least 3 times a day. She put up a sign on the door for whoever was last out of things she wanted done before locking up. It was aimed at the others but as I was nearly always the last out it fell to me to do it all. There was so much to do it was never ending. Even though the cages, kennels and stables were cleaned out during the day they were just as bad again by the time I left. I could have stayed all night. The vet’s room had dogs and other animals in cages – I hated it. There was a ginger cat in a cage in there with dogs in cages. It cried all day to be let out – we were so glad when it went to the UK – if not one of the lads was going to set it free. With that amount of animals it really needed a huge team of people to do the job properly. On my first day there were at least 8 of us doing the kennels in the arena but soon after I was doing it on my own and that’s how it was until I left with the odd work experience kid or sometimes a few schoolkids. I knew and still know absolutely nothing about horses. She said ‘I’ll teach you of course’ but it never happened. I laughed when I heard her say exactly the same to a new volunteer before I left. She thought that volunteer was sent by the ‘haters’ to spy so she sent one of the kids to warn me not to leave her alone. I hope she realised she was deliberately kept away from the building when the horses were brought indoors so she couldn’t see all the shit that they lived in day after day and that the bales of hay were rolled through to get to the stables. The voice in the recordings on this page and on the RTE investigation is the voice I know – that is the reality. The woman no one dares disrespect or answer back to. I like to think she behaved herself when I was there but it didn’t last. Before I left one of the lads told me I didn’t have a clue what went on when I wasn’t there – I didn’t have a clue what went on when I was there. He told me he’d caught her kicking shit out of a small dog the day before and I had every reason to believe him. That poor dog was scared the whole time it was there. It had bitten a couple of times from fear but it never bit me, it used to climb onto my lap when I was cleaning the kennel. The next time I was there she asked me to take it home with me – I knew then by the way she said it that he was telling the truth. I couldn’t take it but now I wish I had so I could have found it a home. I told one of her main supporters if I found a stray dog I would not take it to AHAR. If RTE or anyone else ever do a program about the welfare of the animals at AHAR I will be the first to contribute. I contacted RTE straight after I saw the program, spoke at length to the reporter and gave a statement to RTE and to the CRA. I would give a statement to the DAFM if I didn’t think they were helping her. Someone has to step up and put an end to this. The place needs to be run by an animal lover. As she said herself after the donkey rescue – any idiot can get a dog out of the pound and rehome it – its only the thrill of the rescue that she loves not the animals. She can’t stand the dogs barking or jumping up and told me a dog licking her face makes her want to vomit. The place could be the heaven it is meant to be – it is a fantastic facility and could be self- financing but it never will be all the time it is run by her – and yes it is run by her – no-one but no-one tells her what to do. Why did I finally leave? By that time I was seriously stressed out and exhausted, it was making me ill. The last day I was there was a Sunday when the F…. family couldn’t work. There was one other person there – he left at lunchtime, leaving me to do everything on my own. The place was heaving with animals by then. A horse called Merlin was down and I couldn’t get him up. I couldn’t leave him so I had to disturb her on her day off to come and help me. She was incandescent with rage over it, screamed hysterically at me (bear in mind I had done nothing wrong – I had stayed to look after the animals) – it was so over the top that it was almost funny. I answered back – how dare I disrespect her and get ngry with her. In the middle of it all Merlin got up on his own. Good boy Merlin you did me a favour. I wasn’t due back until the Wednesday but in the meantime I was told she was furious about a comment I had made about the fictitious meatman when I was defending her on the other page – it had been there for days. She wanted the page shut down (which it was) - how dare they – they were as bad as the ‘haters’ etc. Whatever she said was so bad no-one will tell me to this day. I quit and I wasn’t the only one. I started off a year earlier loving the place and the woman I thought was a saint – how wrong I was – I left hating both. I put my heart and soul into that place for the animals. I will never volunteer at another rescue as long as I live and no-one would want me after being associated with that place. My biggest regret – abandoning the animals especially the ones that have been there long term and will probably never get out of there and the lovely resident dogs, especially Dottie who is still my favourite dog on the planet and is now making me cry. AHAR Exposed Team