For too long we have put up with peanut butter slander, we have allowed this injustice to go on for too long. We need— nay, we deserve peanut butter exclusive Uncrustable sandwich. At one point we had this privilege, but it was ripped away from our ungrateful hands in 2021. And yet no one discusses this terrible tragedy. In 2023, 1 in 11 people face hunger, every day children starve as a direct consequence of the lack of peanut butter only Uncrustables. And there is no possible other explanation for why people go without food. No other reasons at all other than Peanut butter Uncrustables not existing anymore.

Clearly this is the most pressing issue of the century. Have we lost all sense of purpose as a society? Have we lost our will to fight for what is right? Delicious sustenance for is a human right that we all deserve. If you still believe in hope, In dreams, in hopes and dreams, then sign here so we can reclaim our freedom and right to have peanut butter only Uncrustables. I believe it was Patrick Henry that once said, “Bring me peanut butter or bring me death.” You have to power to make a change, force the corrupt ruling class to hear our voices. If we can’t eat peanut butter sandwiches, then we will just have to eat the rich instead.