Post Week Follow Up from the Public Hearing
Thank you all, again for your support. I am finally able to provide an update to you. Some personal messages have come in asking how it went and how we are doing, I am sorry I neglected this task, it was not intentional. I just needed some time alone and with family to adjust some heavy moods and emotions that needed to be released. I definitely believe an update should be granted to those of you who gave your time and attention to this important matter.
Last Thursday our hearing began at 9am and concluded close to 12 noon. We learned a lot about what Prisoner #309305 has done these past 20+ years while incarcerated and then heard him speak of what his crime and sentence meant to him, he was asked to explain his actions for that night. Yet again, we heard outrageous details of that night that make no sense, had many holes in the sequence and timing, and clearly were more lies that covered his cold and evil actions.
We learned how he had 16 violations for behavior his first 13 years of imprisonment, (the last 9 years are all good behavior), one including assault of a corrections officer. We discovered that he decided to not receive "mental health" counseling during his imprisonment, even though it was offered. He simply chose to "deal with his pain and grief" on his own, stating "he's been miserable over his mistake" all these years. HE CALLS IT A "MISTAKE".... I cannot put into writing politely for what this makes me feel like, hearing him say it so casually and watching his show of fake tears.
His statement was a very "me" centered speech, focusing on all his certificates and good behavior that have occurred the last few years. He said he plans to get out and relocate to our hometown of Saginaw and live in Carrollton with his family who plan to support him financially and emotionally as he needs it while starting over. He looks forward to helping in his family food truck business. He wishes to be free, marry one day, have his own family, reunite with his adult son. I have never felt so much jealousy as I realized he has this opportunity, and Nicole never will. He then proceeded to give a very half-hearted apology to my parents, the first ever in 22 years via online communication on the day of his own parole hearing and re-routed the conversation back to all his new education and good behavior.
My father and I spoke at our own turns, it was very emotional and a lot of traumatic memories came through. The pain and grief in my father's voice will be a lasting memory :(
I stated my sorrows and experiences of the last 22 years living without Nicole. If you are a sibling to a sister yourself, you probably find her to be one of your best friends in adult years. While I have 2 younger sisters I love with all my heart and almost feel like my own children, that part of me, having Nicole in my life, is still missing and always will be because his actions resulted in a permanent reaction. There is no undoing, no re-takes, no second chances for her. I focused my speech on asking the board how confident they were in his "rehabilitation" to never prevent a crime again and not be a threat to our society, especially after his lack of therapy/counseling these past 20+ years. I asked them of what guarantee they could give because any more violence or lives lost at his hands is a risk not worth taking. No family should ever have to feel the pain and trauma we do. I gave many researched statistics on repeat offenders after parole, including many statistics on what dating violence and controlling behaviors lead to every day in the U.S. - a woman loosing her life every 11 minutes to domestic abuse & murder. He looked down the majority of the time and appeared annoyed while I spoke. {The truth does hurt.} I think he knew I was making valid points and asking valid questions to his true "rehabilitation".
His family spoke next, taking turns with his mother and several sisters. His mother told him out loud that God forgives him for his crime and sin, and he should be ready to move forward from this past "mistake". They all agreed to support him financially and emotionally should he be granted parole.
The main thing I find crazy is how he and his family, the environment he plans to return to, believes his cold, brutal murder is only a "mistake" and that enough time has been served. This mind frame of theirs is not healthy or reassuring for us as secondary victims seeking continued justice for Nicole.
We were told at the end of the hearing to expect up to 3 months wait for a decision. This will give the entire parole board time to review all of his file and our hearing transcripts from that day. We will be notified within 14 days of their decision once it happens.
We've had a tremendous amount of support from individuals, and local and national organizations such as Parents of Murdered Children with their Parole Block Petition Program and the Fraternal Order of Police #105 and their resolution to keeping our local community safe through the promotion of their own petition plea in denying this convicted murderers release. This I am very thankful for.
After this hearing, I now sit back to reflect and struggle with my Christian values and beliefs in addition to the grief and re-newed trauma I've worked hard to overcome in the last 2 decades. I believe he is still far from "rehabilitated" and resolved of the troubled, evil and dark demons that he cannot recognize within himself. There is an apparent lack of remorse and a recognizable deficit of self aware growth in this individual, he is certainly a liability for release! While he may not possibly re-offend in the crime of murder after he gets possible parole, I certainly believe that he'll be in the wrong, harmful environment that produced such behaviors and thoughts that drove him to commit such a grotesque crime in the first place. He is simply not the prisoner to release.
We- my family and I, are extremely grateful for all of you who took action in signing and writing to have your voices heard in this matter...for supporting this cause. You all have made a significant contribution to possible action and change. I will update here on this platform when we receive an answer. Truthfully, we are facing an overwhelming overcrowding situation in our Michigan prisons and there have been SEVERAL 2nd degree murder offenders released in 2021 and 2022....I pray daily that the parole board hears our pleas. Please pray with intention specifically to justice for Nicole being continued, for my parents who still struggle with broken hearts, for peace for us all as we will have to accept whatever decision is made.
THANK YOU SUPPORTERS!