This petition is about my personal experiences of IVF, and to hopefully make a change to the industry. Far too many careless mistakes take place and this process is not reversible, so much more care and thought from the medical professionals should be taken.

Disclaimer: Information below of a delicate and medical nature, please read with caution.

I have gone through the entire IVF process from initial tests to Embryo Transfer twice concluding with a pregnancy test, once when I was married - this was IVF with ICSI, and since I have been divorced I have undergone IVF as a single person with an anonymous sperm donor, via a clinic in Nottingham.

IVF is something which you don't go through lightly, you need to be zen and mentally strong ready for the cycles of it.

I have been with two different clinics in Nottingham and both have made some horrendous mistakes. It is not about the money but if you are paying so much money for something so precious and it is all you want in life, a baby, the clinics should have the kindest, organised and accurate service ever. This is not the case I have found.

Although I have had just the 2 IVF failures and I know there are plenty of women who will have had many more, from my bad clinic experiences I don't want this to be in vain I really want to make a change to the industry if that is at all possible. The mistakes made should not happen. Everyone is human and makes mistakes, but the mistakes these clinics have been making are ridiculous and very preventable if better training was given or there was a checking policy in place for double checking vital information which goes out to patients.

I am a very stable and positive woman with an amazing support network, but I do think if some of these incidents and worse happened to others with less support, there could be many women who become depressed or suicidal as a result.

These IVF clinics need to do better, much better. I know not all women will be the same but most of us who put ourselves through IVF ensure we are the healthiest version of ourselves, do everything carefully and are so thorough with all medications.

With IVF, because many would be unaware of the process I will explain a bit now, there is the prep for it, not all will have done this, it is an optional extra which I had paid extra for before my recent IVF, the Endometrial Scratch which can take place the cycle before your treatment cycle (recommended if you have had multiple failed IVFs or miscarriages, although at that stage I had just had the one failed IVF I wanted to ensure I had tried everything possible for a successful IVF especially at my age), this is where your womb is scratched continually for 30 seconds, in the hope that your embryo(s) will stick to your womb once they are placed in there later on when you have Embryo Transfer (my Embryo Transfer was one month later).

Once the IVF medication cycle begins there are many injections to give to yourself daily in the stomach or thigh, for approx. 2 weeks. One set of injections stimulates the egg follicles, whilst the other stops ovulation, because they only want you to ovulate at the correct time later in the process. During the time when you are injecting yourself, you will have regular trips to the clinic for monitoring scans to check the egg progress. This is checked via an internal scan each time. You then get to the stage where your egg follicles (which contain eggs) become plump (it can be quite uncomfy) and you are ready for egg collection, at that stage you are advised to administer your trigger shot injection usually the following day or day after, which releases the eggs 36 hours before egg collection. The egg collection is a very invasive procedure, for this to take place you will be sedated, and once the sedation wears off the pain which kicks in can sometimes feel brutal and immense, as if someone has just clawed out your whole vagina. After egg collection, you are advised when to start administering your pessaries morning and night, and it can be done vaginally or rectally, this is to increase progesterone and these are to thicken your womb lining. After the eggs are collected, it is only the mature eggs that can be used and are put with the sperm to make embryos. Those embryos are left to grow and are monitored in the lab. 5 days after egg collection is when you have embryo transfer if your embryo(s) make it to that stage, this is when the embryo(s) are very carefully placed inside you and you must have a full bladder for this process. Then 2 weeks later you pregnancy test. If you are sadly not pregnant, you stop taking your pessaries immediately and if you are pregnant, you must continue with the pessaries until you are a number of weeks pregnant.

I can only explain IVF based on the short protocol and what I have experienced, I am not sure entirely what the long protocol involves. Please note, other ladies IVF journey will vary from mine even if on the short protocol.

The mistakes and issues I encountered with both clinics are:

Clinic 1 issues:
- Cyclogest pessaries were prescribed to take after egg collection, I now realise that this first clinic missed a vital instruction. When administering these pessaries, which can be put in vaginally or rectally, what this clinic failed to say and I only now realise because of the second clinic is that if you put them in vaginally, you must lie down after for 30 minutes, so it absorbs properly. I was not told this and I think every single day because of this I had excessive amount of chalky type residue in my underwear, which I thought was just a normal and messy part of the process, but this means that these pessaries were not being absorbed properly. 
- About 6 weeks after my 1st cycle of IVF failed, I ended my marriage (not related to IVF), I then decided a few months after, that I would use my 2nd cycle which I had already paid for and then just pay extra for the use of an anonymous sperm donor regulated by the clinic, to be told that if I don't use my second cycle with my husband, I lose the cycle and receive no form of refund.
Also, that if I wanted to do IVF with an anonymous sperm donor, I have to wait until I am divorced to start treatment, or my husband's name would automatically go on the birth certificate, this is the law and not a clinic rule.

Just a side note, I pre-paid for a package of two cycles at the 1st clinic, this is because my husband (at the time) has a son and that is the reason there was a cost. Also, you only get the 2nd cycle you paid for if the 1st cycle fails, which is another money making thing with these clinics, obviously it would be amazing if you did get pregnant from the 1st cycle, but you would then have to pay out again for more IVF if you wanted to try again.

Anyway, I thought there may be a chance I qualify for free IVF because I am doing it on my own and I have no children, but forget about the postcode lottery and other criteria, I didn't qualify for free IVF, because I have done IVF before, which is crazy.

Clinic 2 issues:
- I had paid for my IVF package and sperm in July 2024, I requested the sperm be shipped August 2024. They cut it fine and my sperm was not shipped until December 2024 after many requests and queries why it wasn't already shipped. The sperm delivery was cut fine because if it didn't arrive eventually when it did, I would not have been able to have my Endometrial Scratch 2 days later, because they will not do any procedures until the sperm is on site. This was awkward with work because I didn't know if I would be off that Wednesday for my procedure, I only got an online notification of delivery on Monday at a few minutes to 5, so I was unable to confirm with work until the next day, the day before the procedure. Also, it shouldn't be a conversation you should have to keep having with your male manager, that your appointment is dependant on whether the sperm arrives on time. The sperm should have been on site ages ago and I should have just been able to take the time off work without having to explain about waiting for a sperm delivery.
- I had my Egg Collection on Monday 13th January 2025, so in my head I knew my Embryo Transfer should take place on Saturday 18th January, and a few members of clinic staff also stated that it should be that date if all goes well, and I would get a call on the Friday before to confirm details. I received a portal message, not a phone call (on Friday 17th January) to say that my Embryo Transfer will be on Sunday 19th January. I was puzzled by this, and thought it is always 5 days later for embryo transfer once embryos reach blastocyst stage. I sent a portal message to query this and I received a phone call to say sorry the message was wrong and Embryo Transfer should be on Saturday 18th January (the next day). This was so negligent and upsetting. If I didn't query this, my Dad would have taken me to the clinic on the Sunday and I would have been met with a closed door, and then been told on the Monday (I assume) that my embryos are dead. This is awful. If a monitoring scan appointment was wrong that could be overlooked, but this is so unacceptable and such lack of care, I don't know how a clinic can run like this. They didn't even realise their mistake, it is only because I queried it. This was crazy highly stressful and although I told myself to stay calm I admit I was absolutely furious, and the few close family and friends I mentioned it to were appalled as well. I arrived on Saturday for Embryo Transfer in a happy, calm and positive mood, but at the back of my mind I was thinking how the day could have been so different, and I was hoping that my body didn't have any stress hormones active then.
- I had a counsellor video call on Monday 20th January 2025 following my Embryo Transfer (2 days prior). It was always suggested that I should receive sperm implications counselling because having a child where you don't know the father etc, which I agreed I would have counselling, but it was never stated when is best for it to take place, so I just booked it in on a mutually available date. On my video call, the counsellor said that she should have seen me sooner because she is supposed to speak to me before I make my sperm donor decision. She said she'd remind the clinic to arrange meetings like that near the start before the sperm is picked. On the call the counsellor mentioned my skin tone which she complimented, and then asked if I picked a donor similar to me. (I am Black British of Caribbean heritage). I explained my decision making journey then told her that I decided on a chinese donor, because of his lovely words and a few other factors, to which she said chinese features are very different to mine and that if she would have spoken to me before I made my decision she would have suggested picking similar to me. I was shocked and taken aback, but because I am polite and also was just trying to stay zen and calm throughout my IVF journey, I just explained that I would research the chinese culture more and that I had already googled black and chinese children, so I could see visually what my child could potentially look similar to with that mix (very cute in my opinion). She said that if I did IVF again she would suggest I pick similar to me so the child doesn't feel different in a family where no-one looks like them. What I should have said to her is that the child would still be half me, also no matter if the child was pink, green or purple, myself and my family would accept the child and also I have a very diverse family where there are a lot of mixed race children and babies in the family. I am disappointed in myself that I didn't say it to her in the video call, but I was a bit shocked and also a bit sad by what she said and tried to remain positive throughout the call. She did apologise after because she hoped I was ok with what she said, because my decision had already been made and I'd completed the process, but she still said again that I should choose differently next time if I wasn't successful with my pregnancy, which is awful to hear when your babies are trying to implant, that is the time you don't want to think about the IVF not working. I'm not sure if because the clinic is in a more rural area these views are seen as normal (I'm originally from London and lived there 33 years), but there are literally mixed race children everywhere and that shouldn't be seen as a problem, especially in 2025. This counselling video call took place 2 days after my Embryo Transfer when I had booked a week off work as annual leave, because I wanted to relax and ensure a safe and happy environment for my embryos to implant, so this kind of call was not what I needed, was upsetting and very much took away from my relaxed state. Technically she said this to me whilst I was "pregnant", in IVF land after Embryo Transfer you are seen as pregnant until otherwise known. I don't think the counsellor was being malicious, but she was not being thoughtful or sensitive.

Unfortunately, my embryos did not implant, the above mentioned stress may have had a part to play in the outcome, and I feel it is important to highlight how bad my IVF journey was, because too many silly yet serious mistakes were made, this type of organisation shouldn't be making these kind of errors.

Another thing which has come to my attention very recently, which I didn't experience when doing IVF in 2023. The post failed IVF period can be a horrible shock to the whole body and very debilitating. It seems as though the initial bleed if your embryo(s) don't implant isn't necessarily your proper period even if it seems like a horrible and heavy one. The one to follow outside of the whole cycle can be an absolutely terrible period, but no clinic staff (well in my experience) warns you of the turmoil that may follow.

I was woken out of my sleep to extreme contractions, I literally didn't know what to do. It was 5am and I was thinking I must go hospital because these pains are insane, and it crossed my mind was I going to bleed out because it is not normal to be experiencing contractions like this, especially when not pregnant. I had to tell myself to breathe as carefully as I could whilst rolling around in my bed. I called my Dad which I felt bad about because of the time of morning but my Dad came round ready to take me hospital, however after about 30 more minutes the pain had eased somewhat. The pain was still an unbearable pain, just a bit easier to manage. Although I don't dwell, these pains just felt cruel, no pregnancy and all this pain including contractions. This IVF didn't want to leave me alone, the next day I had the start of the craziest upset stomach, and that lasted one full day and then the following next morning. Apparently diarrhoea is common alongside a post failed IVF period, why are we not told this? Anyway, on another day, I had a nap, woke up from the nap and my stomach felt a bit less tender, but here was another problem, I was very achey. I was thinking what is all this trade in of ailments about. I had flu like symptoms, in particular a painful collar bone and hip bone. Apparently, flu symptoms are common alongside post failed IVF periods too, why is this not discussed at the beginning either, just so women who have failed IVFs can perhaps be prepared for what may follow. Or the aftercare could be better, once you have a failed IVF you should receive maybe a care pack or advice on what maybe to follow. All the pain was so unexpected because I didn't have this in 2023.

I did have a follow up call with the clinic nearly 5 weeks after my negative pregnancy test on 31st January 2025, with the lovely clinic doctor who did my Embryo Transfer, and when I discussed with her the ridiculous period I had just had, and I mentioned that I bled end of January too when I was losing the embryos, she said that I shouldn't have been bleeding before my pregnancy test and she said this is likely because the pessaries were not strong enough and that I could have had progesterone injections. Then she asked if I bled before my pregnancy test at the other clinic when I did IVF before and I said yes but only a day or two before, and she said that that is most likely the problem and my outcome could have been different. This broke my heart and infuriated me, I had not cried about the failed IVF until then, in fact I bawled for about 2 minutes after I got off the video call. This now goes back to the first clinic being negligent again, if they had properly looked into why my IVF failed, and I did ask them a lot of questions. If I was told the progesterone could have been stronger and I could have had injectable progesterone instead of pessaries to thicken the womb lining, I would have taken that vital bit of information over to the second clinic. All my medication and protocol info from the first clinic I took to the second the clinic, so if I knew that I would have shared that too. This is awful, because this is not a maths test you can just re-sit, IVF clinics are messing with our lives, we can't go back and re-do part of IVF if they realise at the end what may have gone wrong. It is irreversible.

I must add that I do really appreciate how beautiful and wonderful the science of IVF is and how great some staff are, and I have had family and friends who are close to me have some great experiences resulting in them having their gorgeous IVF babies, but I just feel I need to highlight what I have been through, because a number of IVF clinics and their staff should definitely do better.

Even if this was IVF on the NHS it wouldn't be acceptable, but to be paying approx. £12,000 per cycle for bad service is both horrendous and disappointing. (Costs do vary across clinics).

Thank you for reading this, it means a lot to me, I know it is an incredibly long read. I hope you will sign my petition and that some changes will take place as a result!! ❤️