I am a parent who has been alienated from my children by my ex-spouse for the past 2.5 years. My life has been destroyed by the lack of NJ state resources needed to enforce court-ordered parenting time. All court-ordered parenting time I have received since I left the marital home in April 2021 has been ignored by my ex and neither the local police nor Family Services will help me get access to my children. I’ve filed numerous police reports but the police advised the only way to see my children is to hire an attorney, file a motion, and receive a court date. Firstly, legal retainers cost ~$5000. Secondly, it then takes a month to file the motion and another month or 2 to receive a court date, which inexplicably, the other parent can postpone. That means in order to exercise my basic right to see my own children, I need to be liquid $5000 and wait 3-4 months at a time for a court date without any contact with my kids. To top it all off, after you finally get your court date, the harshest penalty for alienation, if the judge acknowledges it, is reimbursement of court fees. This is not nearly a sufficient deterrent to prevent this from happening again.

As a result of the continued alienation from my children over 2 years, my mental health significantly deteriorated and I went into a deep depression. I was eventually let go from my job, for the first time in my 25 year banking career, due to an inability to perform as a result of PTSD, depression and anxiety. I eventually lost my home, most of my assets, my car, my dignity, and my drive for life. Child custody is a broken system. All discussions throughout our divorce proceedings were about my finances and assets with no regard for the relationship with my children. The system failed me and then my mental health deterioration was used against me. I’m currently in therapy, participating in various support groups, I’m volunteering, and advocating for the Father’s Rights Movement. I’m slowly finding happiness again and getting my life back, but my battle to enforce my court-appointed parenting rights continues. 

This heart-wrenching experience is not unique to me; it's a reality faced by many parents in New Jersey and across the United States. Parental alienation is when 1 parent engages in 1) poisonous messages to the child about the targeted parent in which he or she is portrayed as unloving, unsafe, and unavailable; (2) limiting contact and communication between the child and the targeted parent; (3) erasing and replacing the targeted parent in the heart and mind of the child; (4) encouraging the child to betray the targeted parent's trust; and (5) undermining the authority of the targeted parent. Taken together these parental alienation strategies foster conflict and psychological distance between the child and the targeted parent. 

This is an issue that needs urgent attention. It not only disrupts the bond between a parent and child but also has long-term psychological effects on the child and alienated parent. According to research conducted by Amy J.L Baker, Ph.D., children who have experienced parental alienation often face low self-esteem, lack of trust, depression, and substance abuse later in life. Despite these severe consequences to both the children and targeted parent, our current custody laws do not adequately address this form of emotional abuse. In New Jersey specifically, while courts recognize parental alienation as harmful behavior that can influence custody decisions (New Jersey v. Evans), there are no specific penalties or deterrents for parents engaging in this damaging conduct. 

I urge lawmakers to revise our custody laws with stricter penalties for parental alienation - penalties that will act as powerful deterrents against such behavior and protect our children from unnecessary emotional trauma. I also urge lawmakers to make resources available to alienated parents for quicker resolution in order to prevent an interruption in the parent/child bond. 

Please sign this petition if you believe that every child deserves an unbiased opportunity to love both their parents without forced separation, manipulation or fear. Let's work together to make sure our legal system supports this fundamental right.