This is not just another petition. It's a personal plea, born out of years of bitter and painful experience. I am a survivor of financial abuse but prevented from escaping because my uncooperative ex-partner refused to engage with the divorce process, initiated by me after years of financial misconduct on his part. This refusal cost me thousands in legal fees, denied me my rightful financial settlement, and robbed me the chance to move on with my life. Although I was granted a Decree Absolute, the absence of a financial settlement meant he was able to come after me at any point in the future, so I couldn't move on with my life or make any financial decisions because I had no clean break from him. I was constantly looking over my shoulder, wondering if and when he would make a move. In suspended animation and, effectively, still married to him to all intents and purposes.

I may have had a piece of paper saying I was divorced, but in reality I wasn't, because without a financial settlement you are never, truly divorced and the other party continues to exert control over you.

Sure enough, seven years after our separation, five years after our divorce (and having left me to pay all the mortgage payments and cover maintenance and repairs on the house out of my own pocket) and and after he found out I had a new partner, he applied to court and I was forced to pay him a large sum of money. By this time he was an exceptionally high earner, although in reality he had been earning very good money all along and could have easily afforded legal fees at the time I petitioned. He simply chose not to engage, so as to frustrated me efforts to be rid of him.

This act has impoverished myself and our children - including one who is disabled - just as we had begun rebuilding our lives. Not only was it hugely expensive, it was also almost unimaginably traumatic, and terrifying. And all enabled, and rubber stamped, by the UK courts.

All the money I had been saving for my children's futures and for holidays and extras over the last 7 years has gone. I am in debt, having been forced to spend upwards of £35k in legal fees defending myself against him in court.  And I may now have to sell the only stable home my kids have ever known in order to pay my ex-husband off. By waiting 7 years, as he is perfectly entitled to under the current law, and moving just at the point where I had begun to rebuild my life, he has caused maximum damage. 

This isn't just my story; it's the story of countless others across the UK who are subjected to this form of coercive control by their former partners through abuse of legal processes. In Australia, they have introduced laws that limit financial settlements after divorce proceedings to 12 months – why can't we do this in the UK?

I am calling upon our government to introduce a similar law here; setting a 12-month limit for reaching financial settlements after divorce proceedings are initiated. After which point, any right to apply should lapse. I understand that there is currently a review of the Matrimonial Causes Act underway. It seems chiefly to be about ensuring rights for cohabitees, which is absolutely right to do, but in my view it also has to look.at how those who are divorcing are treated by the law, and 'abuser proof' the process so situations like mine can no longer happen.

This simple change will prevent abusive partners from manipulating legal processes as means for continued control over their victims long after separation has occurred. It will provide survivors like myself an opportunity for closure and allow us all to truly move forward with our lives. Many of us have been forced to represent ourselves in court as litigants in person because we can't afford legal fees - and it's hard to truly do justice to the sense of terror you feel when they have an expensive barrister and legal team behind them, and you just have yourself.

Righting this injustice will also save the government money. The mental and physical toll on people (overwhelmingly women) on the receiving end is huge. Children whose mothers are suffering like this suffer too, as it's hard to be the parent you want to be when you're so stressed and frightened - and short of money that you can hardly think straight. By righting this wrong, untold numbers would be spared that misery and the money currently being spent by health, education, social and justice departments on dealing with the fallout could be spent elsewhere.

It cannot be right that under our current system, the law enables individuals who want to abuse the legal system to ensure that their ex-partners can never be free of them, and never fully divorced. 

Please sign this petition today – let's bring about change together!