I heard these words 4 yrs ago as I was going for that HI-Pec Surgery.. So many problems with the insurance companies and the impossible seemed more than the possible.. One day as thousands of thoughts went thru my head I kept hearing this "I've got this !" and sure enough he did.. It all worked out through miracles and they did the surgery..

As I am sitting here pondering how to write this blog I remember them words and will hold them close to me the next 6-9 months..

Last week I was in Chicago where I go to the Cancer Treatment Center of America. My numbers started rising (the tumor marker).. So they had me come back last week to do a PET Scan.. Not the news we was hoping for..At first they thought they seen something in my back so they did a MRI and it turned out no tumors (PRAISE GOD).. I was concerned because I didn't want cancer in my back, oh my! There is Cancer though and it is metastasizing.. It is in and around my Rectum area and Lymph Nodes.. I was beyond devastated the first day.. I dont care who you are or how strong you may be when they tell you the cancer is back again, wow.. Your heat beats faster than it should, you become silent for fear if you go to talk you will bust out crying and you just keep thinking of how it wasnt long enough.. It has been 4 yrs since that surgery I had but right now 4 yrs isnt long enough.. I know how some have it and the cancer will return in a year so i am blessed I made it 4 yrs but today it doesnt seem long enough.. I didnt think i would know till this week the results of the PET Scan and treatment plan if we needed one so Friday I went to Walmart.. Just entered when I got the call.. I think it was the fastest I was in and out or Walmart in my whole life, lol.. At least I saved some money!!

They called yesterday and told me I have to go back on the chemo.. I figured this was going to happen since it metastasized.. they cant do surgery right now while it is moving.. They give you chemo to stop it from going any farther and if it doesnt kill the cancer cells than I probably will have surgery again down the line..

It was so hard for me to write this. I have so many praying the cancer wouldn't return and they was hoping along with me I had more time.. I thank everyone and you know who you are for praying for me through out this whole journey... God hears your prayers and he is preparing my journey for me.. I just have to walk it with him... I hope that you keep praying.. I can always tell when someone is praying for you..You seem at peace, calm, and not trying to stress about the hand you just received.. I thank all of you for being with me through out this journey.. I know I am not alone.. I will keep you updated as I go through this..

I was trying to prepare myself this morning and I had to get my mind off of it. It can be overwhelming.. I thought of the mouth sores (so bad you dont want to eat knowing your mouth will burn), the weight loss ( I finally after 4 yrs made it to 110lbs), and the hair loss (no woman wants to lose there hair and wear a wig).......

This is my 3rd Rodeo with cancer.. I know whose hands this journey is in (thank God it's you and not my hands).. Is it for another miracle to give him the Glory or is it time to go home.. We dont know the answers yet.. We hope for the miracle but if not I know where my eternity will be.. I always tell people "if you dont beleive there is a God look at all he has brought me through since I first got the cancer and look at the miracles he is still performing on me.. I would of never made it this far if I didnt have him to lean on...

I hope that you sign this blog. I am almost at 25,000 people that has signed and one day Blue Cross and Blue Shield will notice this and hopefully make a change in there plan.. There are woman dying today that have been refused the HI-Pec surgery (a life saver) because of these insurance companies refusing to pay for them.. They almost let me die.. thank God for the Cancer Hospital to let me pay on the $40,600.00 they would pay for and they did the operation.. Some dont have the means to sign that note.. I am starting to get Blue Cross's attention with all the signatures and when I reach 25,000 it will be one of the top blogs here so then I can really get this out there.. I love and feel for each one of the woman that are going through Ovarian Cancer.. One out of two die within the first year.. It is a hard cancer to get through.. Hoping for a cure one day!! Now that would be the best Miracle us woman could have... So please take a minute and sign this blog.. forever appreciate it and also share this journey with others. I would love it. I have been asked to share my journey on YOUTUBE so others can follow it an see the life of a woman trying to survive cancer and live a normal life.. If anyone would be interested in following me on this journey please send a email and let me know.. Or if you have any questions or just want to email, please do. Email is janine135@gmail.com

Thank you for being here through my journey and if you find a few minutes in your day please pray for me.. I am not getting any younger and it is getting harder to do all this but with God's will and your prayers I can do it..

Hope this summer was a good summer for you.. Hope most of all you have made lots of memories.. 

Until the next blog take care and keep making memories.. So when you get old you have them ...

Janine

P.S. I just wanted to say that there is a link on the side here to promote this page. they ask to donate and I am just asking to please dont donate your money. I have no ideal who gets it, where it goes, or what they are using it on. I know the only promoting it is getting is when you share my blog on your social media and it doesnt cost you anything.. So if you would ignore that I would appreciate it.. Thanks...