Well summer is here and it feels good to know no ice, snow, or cold weather for a few months.. I hope all of you make some beautiful memories this summer..

I have not updated in awhile an I feel bad but  I have been so busy since last June.. My hubby decided in Sept. he was retiring after 42 yrs and we both decided it was time for a Change.. We lived in Ohio most of our lives and our final years we wanted some warmer weather.. So we started looking all over the South and finally found a place we both liked that would work for us.. He wanted at least 2 acres and I wanted a ranch style home.. tired of climbing 3 floors all the time (basement, main floor, an upstairs) so we found just what we wanted.. Then we had to tell everyone we was moving.. Many many tears later we packed and headed south.. Now we have a place for them to come visit..

Since December though things started to change.. I think with all the moving and all I put my cancer journey on the back burner for awhile and boy did that feel good.. Once you have cancer it never leaves you.. they tell you that you are in remission but it will come back.. Go home and dont worry.. Yeah right!!! It is in your mind all the time.. Is today the day they tell me it has come back.. I was tested every 2 weeks and the day before the test I would try not to worry but you do...  so far I have gone 3 yrs and the tests have come back ok.. this changed in December.. All of a sudden my numbers doubled (not good) and the Drs. in Chicago said oh dear.. when they double it tells them the sleeping giant is starting to stir again.. My heart sunk.. So hoping I had many more years before it woke up again.. so I have been home testing and hoping the numbers would stay the same or even go down.. Well I did the testing on Monday and they said they rose again.. so Chicago called and said the CT SCAN has now changed to a PET SCAN.. Meaning they are looking to see where it is this time... I go the end of July for the SCAN and will know the results then.. so I have 5 weeks to wonder if this is the time God performs another miracle or is this the time he says well done my child and takes me home.. I dont know the answer but I know soon it will be revealed to me.... If I said I was ready  or I cant wait to see where it shows up I would be lying but what i can say is what ever is revealed the Lord already knows and he has the plan in motion.. He has performed miracles with me one right after another for almost 6 yrs and if you havent read all these blogs they might be worth reading because God showed up so many times when the days were dark and gloomy and the outcome wasnt good.. First time I had cancer they gave me less then 5% of surviving and the second time they wouldnt even give me a percentage but really it didnt matter because I knew whose hands I was in and he chose if I would live here or go home to him... Am I bummed??? Absolutely... The thought of going back on chemo or another operation is overwhelming right now to think of it.. I know lately so many people have told me how healthy and good I look lately.. How my hair finally is back to where it was pre-cancer... I feel good.. I eat like a horse now and have gone from 98 to 110lbs... I eat and have no sickness at all.. I am not ready for another trial with this cancer but I knew from the beginnning it would keep coming back and coming back till one time the cancer or surgeries wouldn't work.. Ovarian cancer is the worse that woman can get... the percentages now is 1 out of 2 woman die from it within the first year of being diagnosed and if you live the survival rate is only 40% make it 5 yrs.. I have made it 6 (PRAISE GOD).. Another miracle.. I have the best testimony.. That is the only good thing of all of this....

The last time it came back and the first time actually I had so many people ask what they could do for me or what I needed and I said all I needed was when I got to sick to pray would you pray for me and so many of you did.. I will never forget all of you that wrote and said you were praying.. Thank you forever from the bottom of my heart.. Never forget!!!

This time I am asking for prayer again.. Prayer for calmness till the end of July when we find out what is going on, prayer for the next journey, and pray I have enough strength to  fight the battle again.. As you get older and each time it is harder to fight.. I will fight with all I have but I need your prayer and strength..

I hope summer is good for you this year and the memories just build up.. take lots of pics and lots of smiles to go with them.. God Bless all of you and I will keep you updated..     Janine