If you are queer and you live in the Milwaukee area you have heard about Courage House, a residential home for displaced LGBTQ youth. Courage House has made waves by creating a supposedly safe space for kids who need it most. Its founders, Brad and Nick Schlaikowski, are long-time foster parents who became concerned with the lack of safe housing options for queer youth in Milwaukee. The story of how Courage House came to be is a beautiful one, and the mission is as altruistic as it gets.

For those who don’t know, Courage does an excellent job outlining their mission and goals on their website, where you will find an Equity & Inclusion page featuring two key statements: 

A message from Brad reads:

"From the moment this organization became an idea, we knew that Courage MKE would be a safe place for all staff and residents. Diversity fuels our spirit and our commitment to inclusion across race, orientation, identity, age and experiences will always be our compass to drive us forward and become a leader within our community."

And the community promise reads:

"In support of the current social unrest that has awaken those all over the United States, Courage MKE will be reexamining ways that we as an organization can continue to best serve the youth that we serve, including equitable opportunities for the black, queer youth that we serve."

Since opening in 2019, Courage has hired and lost nearly forty (40) resident care workers, many of whom left on bad terms. Their stories of being unheard/mistreated/gaslit are telling and while there are many issues, one common theme emerges: Both the leadership and the Board of Courage are made up exclusively of cisgender, affluent white folks. Now, after some very dangerous recent happenings at the house, several current and former staff are speaking out.

What we’ve compiled here is a comprehensive (but not exhaustive) list of grievances so that the public can finally see and hear our experiences. As a warning, some of this content may be triggering or upsetting for people who have experienced trauma.

To start we are copying the resignation letter of a former staff member, sent to the Board in July of 2021. (We are adding some edits/clarifications/updates based on information we’ve learned since this letter was written. Those updates will be made in bold.)

    Dear Brad, Nick, Jean, and the Board of Courage House,

   When I was offered a position inside the Courage family, I was ecstatic. As a queer former foster kid, I know better than most the need for a resource like this one. It’s the reason I became a foster parent with my wife, and it’s why I wanted to work at Courage: to help kids who are hurting. I had heard nothing but glowing reviews from the queer mainstream media about Courage and its work, so the opportunity to be a part of that legacy was like a dream come true for me. 

   It is heartbreaking and frustrating to be writing this letter, but I am tendering my resignation from Courage House, effective immediately and with prejudice. As it turns out, this organization is not what it appears to be to the public. In lieu of an exit interview, I’d like to provide this feedback for the leadership of Courage House in the hopes that it will do more work than I was able to do.

   Since I was hired approximately 7 months ago, I have witnessed numerous very concerning behaviors and practices from the Courage House leadership which have had negative effects on both staff and residents. 

   1. During a period of extreme physical escalation in the house, Jenna (House Supervisor) refused multiple staff requests to come in during her on-call shifts in case of an emergency. She essentially told us to deal with it, leaving us all to feel unsupported and under-trained to manage the situation. And to be clear: we absolutely are under-trained to be in those situations. That’s why we have House Supervisors, and it is dangerous and neglectful to refuse to help staff when they request it.

(Update: This is not the first time leadership has been made aware of dangerous, preventable incidents in the house. Multiple former staff members have asked for help, training, and a better plan of action to handle escalated situations. Each of those requests were met with lip service and empty promises.

Click here to see text messages between Jean and a former staff member the day following a violent and traumatic incident at the house involving a Black resident and Courage-initiated police interaction.)

   2. Without permission or a release of information, a resident has disclosed to me (and another staffer has confirmed) that Jean (House Manager) listens to their therapy sessions. This is an unbelievable violation of resident privacy, not to mention a legal matter. It’s disgraceful, and should be an issue of immediate termination. (Update: Jean denies this claim and argues that the resident chooses to have therapy in public house spaces so it’s inevitable for her to occasionally overhear. No other staff has expressed difficulty offering privacy for this resident during their sessions, and the resident has had zero issues with other staffers. After Jean denied this claim, a third former staffer confirmed that Jean listens, and added that she has been known to make comments about the resident’s therapy sessions to other people in the house.)

   3. Brenna (Resident Care Worker) has, on multiple occasions, told residents that she “doesn’t make enough money” to help them manage their feelings, emotions, or crises. This has led directly to residents expressing feelings of being unsafe and having distrust in the house. (Update: multiple staff report having disclosed this to leadership. Leadership says they have never heard of this.)

   4. A resident, while in the middle of a dissociative episode of age regression, was told to “snap out of it” because a leader “didn’t have time for it”. Residents have been called “weird” in response to their coping mechanisms. Neither of those were appropriate or equitable reactions; neither resident deserved to be treated that way, and that kind of language often mirrors the abuse that displaced queer youth experience in their homes. Which means leaders are triggering residents. (Update: when this was addressed by leadership, Brad (Executive Director) attempted to clarify that the resident in question is on a safety plan that includes taking more adult responsibilities, as if that makes it acceptable for a staffer to use that language during a dissociative episode, let alone any other time.)

   5. Despite multiple requests from residents and staff, leadership continues to push back regarding providing basic food needs for those with dietary restrictions. I have witnessed vegetarian residents go hungry because leadership refused to provide the ingredients requested to modify house meals to accommodate their needs. (Addition: This staffer personally spent hundreds of dollars of their own money providing food for a vegetarian resident, who also experiences disordered eating and has been triggered by the lack of accessible ingredients. While vegetarian foods are provided in the house, many staff are unwilling to prepare the substitute ingredients needed to modify the meal.)

(Update: there is an additional layer to this that came to our attention as we shared stories and discussed experiences. It seems as though the leadership, specifically Jean and Jenna, do not understand the experiences of people with disordered eating patterns. Staffers have recollected cruel and ignorant statements made by both leaders regarding resident weight, body shape, and health status. 

Notably, a former staff member noticed that residents who exist in larger bodies faced negative rhetoric about their bodies and their health, despite the knowledge of those residents’ disordered eating concerns. This incident escalated until the resident self-purged and, when reported to Jean, was provided zero care or compassion.)

   6. The lack of benefits for employees is a remarkable failure in supporting staff, and in enabling diversity in staffing. Only a specific subset of people (people wealthy enough, and privileged enough to have access to affordable healthcare) will be able to work at an organization that doesn’t provide benefits. Also, neurodiverse people with specific or greater mental health care needs are likely to see working at an organization like Courage as prohibitive; this would similarly apply to differently-abled people.

(Addition: it should be noted that staffers have been required to work directly with COVID positive residents and were denied hazard pay after expressing concerns and frustrations with leadership.)

   7. Staff are critically unable to voice dissent and report wrongdoing due to the way that leadership is organized. If there are issues found in leadership, the only people available to report to are the very same people. This has absolutely been a reason I have not voiced many concerns thus far. There is no system for checks or balances. When it is non-leadership staff taking the leading role in the mentorship and care of your residents, the leadership shouldn’t be sheltered from reproach. This includes hiring friends that are not held accountable for their actions or words.

(Update: As one example out of many, these messages detail a conversation between Brad and a Black former staffer. The staffer clearly identifies their issues and concerns, and Brad responds with patronizing, condescending language about “growth” and “being a grown up”, then continues to defend Jean and make excuses for her behavior.)

   8. Every single resident I’ve had the honor of working with has expressed distrust and disrespect for Jean. Specifically, they have articulated feeling like their boundaries are not respected and they are treated like and regarded as babies. None have ever expressed feeling a sense of safety when Jean is around. 

   9. A staff member was verbally berated by Jean for allowing an adult resident with full pass privileges to go out with a volunteer who was not on shift when it was part of his crisis prevention plan with his counselor to do so. I witnessed the staffer be held accountable to a whole list of rules and regulations that I had never heard before, and was definitely never trained on. The staffer tried to explain why they made that choice but Jean did not care. The way that she treated that staffer was highly unprofessional, exceedingly privileged, and entirely off base. 

(Addition: There is more context here that deserves attention. This staffer, who had already resigned and was just finishing their scheduled shifts, felt unsafe and uncomfortable returning to the house after this attack - a recurring theme among former staffers - and called off for their last two assigned shifts. They did not receive their final paycheck at all. They had been expecting $200 for the shifts they worked in their last week and $700 of accrued PTO which they had been saving for over a year to afford a gender affirming surgery. They reached out to Courage, who advised them that the Staff Handbook outlines instances where exiting staffers become ineligible for their PTO, one of which is failing to complete all assigned shifts. They were told that a check would be sent out for the shifts they worked, since it is illegal to withhold that from them in the first place, but that their PTO would not be paid out. This staffer was berated by Courage leadership and then shorted over $700 for not returning to an abusive workplace.)

   And while I have many more examples I could provide, that last one really brings me to my main point. Why I am quitting, and why I am doing so with such a negative taste in my mouth.   

  There is a clear divide of privilege between the leadership and the staff of Courage House. The leadership is comprised entirely of wealthy, cisgender white folks and the staff represents a diverse body of economic statuses, gender identities, etc. The divide between the staff and the leadership is so polarizing, which makes it even more confusing how the leadership seems to be so unaware.  

   I am a former foster kid. I experienced the kind of traumas that these kids experience. I have a perspective and a level of understanding that most cannot have. My opinion should be valued, especially by leadership who experience privilege and don’t have first-hand experience with the kind of trauma these kids are experiencing. And yet, I rarely felt as though my perspective was valued. Jean exudes a sense of self-righteous entitlement, an academic elitism, as if she believes that she has all the answers to all of the problems the House faces. She is often VERY wrong, and her misguidedness is often directly the result of her privilege, but she does not see it. And to be honest, I don’t think she cares to see it. 

   I’ve spoken to other staffers, and former staffers, who also have expressed similar feelings. And it sucks, because all of us - the staffers - are here for one thing: the residents. Not fame, not money, not recognition. The kids.

    What are y’all here for?

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After receiving this letter, Brad and Jean scheduled a Zoom conference for later that day and invited all current staff. Several of the former staffers of Courage joined as well. For over two hours, the current and former staff spoke at length to the leadership about various concerns. Here are a few of the most valuable additions that came from that Zoom, and some things that have happened since:

   1. A former Black staffer filed a complaint and subsequently quit working at Courage after a white woman, Jenna (House Supervisor), choked him inside the house. Jenna claims that the incident was a “joke”. The former staffer quit and was never contacted by Courage. On the Zoom call, Jean admitted that they did not reach out because of fear of litigation. Jenna still has her job.

   2. Jenna routinely refuses to use the correct pronouns for residents in her care. At one point she disclosed to a former staffer that she “doesn’t understand the whole nonbinary thing”. (Addition: another former staffer notes that it took Jenna nearly a year and a half to stop misgendering them.) This is a person in management at a residential home for displaced queer youth. She uses the classic white line of “I’m working on it” to avoid accountability, but staffers and residents have not seen improvement. She has told staff that she will not use updated language for kids until they tell her themselves about the change, which disregards the fact that they are not comfortable going to her with gender-based concerns.

   3. Brad took time during the Zoom call to correct what he called “assumptions” made about himself and his family in the resignation letter copied above. He claimed that he is “not wealthy”, adding “come to my house; I’ll show you my bank account”. (To be frank, this man lives a life of privilege, and evidently has zero self-awareness about it. It is astonishing and disheartening to see this level of white supremacy and classism coming from a man who is so highly regarded by both the queer and foster communities in Milwaukee.)

   4. A conversation arose about race and the racism/tokenization that occurs inside the house. Brad and Jean both articulated that they are completely unaware of any of this in the house and said that they wanted to understand. Former staffers called their bluff, claiming to have spoken up about these issues multiple times. One former staffer even created an anti-racism training while employed at Courage and presented it to leadership, but nothing came of it.  Another former staffer spent an extended amount of time outlining and explaining it - again - for Jean and Brad on the Zoom call, who agreed to take two weeks to develop a plan for how to move forward. (Update: we are well past the two week mark and there has been no follow-up from anyone at Courage. One former staffer has been in contact, but has had little luck getting a straight answer. Here are some screenshots of their conversations so far.)

(Update: A former staffer added this story as an example of the tokenism/racism in the house: After a July 2020 protest that several Courage MKE staff and leadership attended, Jean made a post in the Courage MKE Staff Facebook group about how it was “the best day of her life.” This was wildly tone deaf considering the circumstances of the protest, and a former staff member spoke up to remind Jean of the purpose of the event and to express discomfort with her use of the phrase “best day of my life”. This was Jean’s reply.

As another example of the tokenism, here are screenshots of separate conversations that a Black former staffer had with Jean and Brad regarding problems that were being had with a Black resident. Jean seems to want to be sure that the staffer agrees with their choice and will “have their back” about it… and Brad realizes his mistakes and backtracks to make sure his words will never be seen by the resident he is speaking about.

As a last example of racism (because this is a long petition already), in the summer of 2020 there was a conversation in the house regarding the use of a racial slur by a white resident. Multiple staffers spoke up to provide education to the resident, but Jenna adamantly interjected to argue that there is a “difference” if this racial slur is written with an ‘a’ at the end instead of an ‘er’. This was traumatic for a Black staffer, who stepped outside to regain composure and was confronted by Jenna who advised them that they needed to be “more understanding of her generation and their level of racism and what it means to her”. Jenna then said that, if this staffer continued to be frustrated and upset about it, Jenna would just “say ‘fuck you’ and not learn”.)

   5. Both Brad and Jean articulated several times that Courage House is “ranked better than” other houses. They used this as a way to justify examples of them failing the residents. Genuinely, it seems like they care more about *looking good* than about *being good*. They aren’t using “What is best for these kids?” as the rubric for Courage… they are using “What is going to make us look best and get more media attention/funding”. They legitimately seem to think that failing residents is acceptable as long as they can say they did it better than the competitors. 

 ----

In the end, I don’t think anyone left that conversation feeling optimistic or hopeful. At least 3 staff quit within a 24 hour period, and many more have quit since the doors opened. And that is a trend that will continue until the leadership changes.  Specifically:

   1. Both Jean and Jenna should have been terminated long ago for failure to provide basic legal and ethical care to the staffers and residents of the home. Neither of them should be allowed to continue working at this point, considering all of the ways that it has been shown that they are causing harm. The fact that they are still employed with Courage is a dramatic and willful failure to achieve their mission.

   2. The Board and leadership needs to be significantly diversified. According to the website, which is the most recent information we can find, there are zero Black or trans people serving on the Board of Directors. The Executive Director, House Manager, and House Supervisor are all cisgender white people with a documented history of white saviorism, white supremacy, gaslighting, and sealioning. In addition to diversification across the Board and leadership, a Committee needs to be formed to ensure ongoing focus on necessary growth areas, and significant antiracism training should be planned.

   3. The staff need healthcare. It’s not an option, especially not for a progressive organization that claims to be about a diverse and equitable work environment. Not providing health insurance is a classist and ableist decision, and one that acts as another peg in systemic oppression by limiting the number of people who can afford to apply for the positions. (Another note about Brad and his privilege - he claimed “I also don’t have insurance!” during the meeting. What he meant was: “I also don’t have insurance paid for by Courage.” His privilege prevents him from seeing that those are not the same thing.) 

   4. MAJOR investments need to be made by the leadership to ensure that the folks who replace Jean and Jenna are prepared and ready to put in the work to undo the damage they did. Plans need to be created to directly address the issues that have been presented, and a list of metrics needs to be created to hold the leadership accountable to those plans. This is basic HR and staff, but, more importantly, the residents deserve it.

The mission of Courage is an admirable one; we absolutely need a resource like this in Milwaukee. It is not our wish to have Courage shut down, but rather to hold Courage accountable for the mission and the goals it sets for itself. 

None of Courage’s promises are being kept right now. And it's a shame, because it's such a beautiful idea - such a wonderful opportunity. It is our hope that Brad, Nick, and the Board of Courage House MKE will take some time to seriously reflect on how to do better to keep its promises to the community, to its staff, and to the incredible residents who absolutely deserve for this House to be everything it dreams of being.

Please support our efforts by signing this pledge. If you'd like to do more to voice your concerns, you can contact Courage House at info@CourageMKE.com or by phone at 414-240-2882. If you have a story of your own about Courage or their leadership that you'd like to share with The Coalition to Save Courage House MKE, please send an email to savecouragemke@gmail.com.

For the kids,
The Coalition to Save Courage House MKE