To Brandon Johnson,

The Chicago River has a rich history of garbage, and we, the signatories of this petition, are calling for a return to the glory days of before the river was reversed. We ask that laws be passed to gather the citizens of Chicago together to dump as much trash as possible into the Chicago River. We hope to completely fill it with garbage, so much so that the citizens of Chicago would be able to walk on it. If you hold a magnifying glass up to the river, the whole thing should be at risk of catching fire, just like the good old days. 

In the late 19th century, the river was filthy. Raw sewage, loose pieces of garbage, and other pollutants filled the river. Those were the golden years. However, due to ‘fear of disease’, the government felt the need to remove all the pollutants from the river. Their plan was to construct a new canal that would connect the river with the Des Plaines, and eventually the Missipi. On January 1st of the year 1900, workers blasted open the last chunk of dirt separating the river from the new canal that was built, thus permanently reversing the flow of the river and essentially ‘flushing’ all of the garbage and pollutants. 

While some garbage still remained in the river, it was never truly the same again. That’s why we hope to fill it with garbage. Our goal is to take everything that gets thrown away by the citizens of Chicago, usually what gets sent to landfills, and dump it into the river. We don’t intend to stop until the river is completely filled with garbage. Hopefully, we can turn the river into something that puts even the Great Pacific Garbage Patch to shame. 

It’s important that this is carried out.