FAMILY COURTS NEEDS TO STOP DESTROYING SAFE PARENT AND CHILD RELATIONSHIPS, THERE BUST BE SUPPORT FOR RELOCATION ORDERS TO ENSURE THE CHILD DOES NOT SUFFER A LIFE CHANGING LOSS IN THE HANDS OF THE LAW!

SAFE PARENTS MUST BE AT VERY LEAST GRANTED A POSITION ON THE SOCIAL HOUSING REGISTER IN THE AREA WHERE THEIR CHILD RESIDES.

In this day and age it is more common for two persons, in two different parts of the UK to become romantically involved.  The introduction of multiple dating apps, travel opportunity with jobs and the ease of travel between jurisdictions are only some advances that would contribute to what I would call the growing dating scene.  However, I can assure you that when a woman like myself relocates with her partner to give birth she is not told about the issues that will arise should that relationship break down and she moves back to be with her support network.  The majority of us believe that the UK is the UK, not many of us understand that there are multiple jurisdictions.  Coming from a personal perspective, I was oblivious that on relocating to give birth, I would be giving up my freedom of movement to protect my child and I.  My hospital on learning of my relocation didn’t make me aware, nor did the police when I needed to leave immediately for my son and I’s health.

From being on this gut-wrenching journey, I have become involved with many mothers in the same position.  They leave abusive relationships yet they are ordered back to the jurisdiction that the child was born in and resided in as that’s the law I came to learn the hard way- you cannot leave the jurisdiction with a child without the parents consent. Many mothers like myself have no support network or home in that area other than the home they lived in with their ex-partner.  Where does that leave that safe parent and child ordered back?  The reality is on the street homeless or without their child.  It is a loose loose situation for most,

When the UK courts order the relocation of a safe parent and child back from one jurisdiction back to theirs, there must be a safety net to ensure the parent child relationship does not unnecessarily suffer.  A child should not suffer an unnecessary loss of a safe parent due to a court order.  There must be accountability and there must be support in order to ensure that relocation happens where it is in the best interest of the child.  I have experienced first hand what no support can do.  It has impacted me mentally and financially; each day is filled with worry and panic on how I am going to afford to maintain being in my child’s life and the fear of loosing him.  The child I grew, birthed and was primary care giver of for the first two years of his short four-year life.  

For my son, knowing that the first five years of his life are crucial for his development, I’ve witnessed his mental health and physical health suffer due to feeling abandoned. 

All of this would not have occurred should I have had support in relocating back to England against my will due to Court Order.

The dating scene is advancing, children and safe parents need support where the courts have made a life changing decision and it needs to happen now!

How can the social housing list help?

I can only give you my thoughts and feelings as someone living through this at present.  Loosing your child due to not being able to relocate as court ordered brings unimaginable grief and pain.  If it wasn’t for my support network I can honestly tell you I am not sure I would be here today.  Without their fundraising to facilitate weekend contact, I would not be able to cope with the loss of my son.  No safe parent should have to fundraise to keep up with court orders.

The reality is, I am one of the lucky ones with such support networks, what about those who don’t?  What about the innocent children who are left to suffer from a system built to protect them?

For parents like myself who are unable to relocate and obtain private housing, being placed on a social housing register firstly brings hope, reason to keep going and breathing. By obtaining housing it ensures that the children of our future do not suffer loss of safe parents whom they love and need.  It will improve the mental health of both children and parents going through court ordered relocation as opposed to that child loosing a parent and feeling abandoned.

This is not a Hague Convention case, this is an internal UK case and we as a United Kingdom need to be doing better for our people.