A new day more research reminding me of what I have lost. A journalist dared to ask me how I felt about all the evidence out there on air pollution now. Although Ella died over five and a half years ago there are days when it doesn’t feel that long ago. When there is something unresolved about a death especially your own child you are not able to grieve fully, you always hold something back. To be honest it has been just under 9 months since Professor Holgate explained to me why Ella had died but I am still waiting for the justice system to catch up. This week we enter the third month that the Attorney General received the new evidence about Ella’s case and the wait continues. As her Mum I am not able to move forward until a decision is made your whole life is on hold until a decision is reached . It takes me back to the first inquest that finally took place in September 2014. I guess I tell myself is as long as Els gets justice for all the suffering she had to endure then ...... As I gather my thoughts her siblings run down with a new school photo and I have to remind myself to get a frame for two photos and not three as I did last time. I am still trying to programme my brain to count in twos and not threes, I guess I am not there yet.