Let me start this out by saying that I respect you  and I thank you for the tireless work you and your team are doing for our economy and the people of Texas.  Whether we agree or disagree with how you have handled this pandemic, I think we can all agree that the work you are doing is not something very many of us would want to do, so we thank you!

The purpose of my letter is to implore you, and the fine team of medical professionals you have at your disposal, to find a reasonable accommodation for our most vulnerable population: those that are currently residing in nursing homes across the state of Texas.

As Mother’s Day looms, Father’s Day will shortly follow.    Many moms and dads will be spending this upcoming Mother’s Day and Father’s Day absent from the ones who made them so.

My own father (69 yo) has been “living” in hospitals and nursing homes since December of 2019, following a quintuple bypass and dementia and other physical-related complications . My sister and I  have not seen him, hugged him, or kissed him since February. My mother has not been able to hold the hand of her best friend and partner of over 43 years in well over 60 days.  In short, he has been alone.

Many others are In the same boat and have been denied this basic human right (some much worse than my family).

This cannot continue.  I understand the need to protect our most vulnerable; in fact, I applaud it.  However, when you’re at your worst and perhaps nearing the end of your life, how DARE anyone strip away your right to see those that you love most in this world.  How dare the state strip away MY rights to be with my dad during the WORST and most confusing time of his life.   

The current situation is unconscionable and unsustainable.  These people need their people.  My dad has never committed a crime in his life and yet I’m only allowed to see him through a glass window, (something I have yet to do out of fear that it would hurt him and/or make him sadder than he already is).

My dad refers to his current situation as “prison.”  How could he not?  He has little to no contact with the outside world.  His mental state is deteriorating for lack of stimulation and a lack of dopamine, (the chemical in your brain that encourages you and makes you feel hopeful, happy, and loved).  I can only imagine how very many of our elderly who are “locked up” are feeling this incredible burden. COVID-19 may not kill them, but fear, isolation, and depression will if the current restrictions hold.

Whether the answer is a vaccine (outside of your control and far outside the necessary timeline), an increase in PPE and testing (well within your control), or some combination thereof, along with enhanced visitor screening, something MUST be done.  We cannot continue to be separated from our loved ones in this manner, especially for the ones like my dad who do not fully comprehend what is happening right now and merely think they are “prisoners” in a strange place, without their loved ones.

I would ask that you, Governor Abbott, ask yourself how you would feel if you or one of your parents were in this situation.  I would then ask that you work diligently to come up with a solution so that we can see, touch, and love on our loved ones (even if this is outside of the nursing facility after having been screened and properly outfitted in PPE equipment).  At this point, we do not care what restrictions are imposed, so long as we are given the opportunity to be with our loved ones.

Keeping us apart is not good for THEIR health and mental wellbeing.

Keeping us apart is not good for OUR health and mental wellbeing.

Keeping us apart is not good for the NURSING HOME STAFFS’ health and mental wellbeing.

While I have rightfully jumped on board with the precautionary measures outlined by your office and the CDC (including, but not limited to, face masks, working from home, social distancing, and over the top OBSESSIVE hand washing), I need a reward bigger than going for a haircut or a “mani/pedi.”  I need to see my dad, my “Dwadee.”  I need to hug him.  I need to let him know that we are here and that we have not abandoned him.  I need to be reminded that at 36, I still have my dad, in whatever capacity that may be.

Please, I beg you, find a way to fix this.