Keep our children’s mental and physical wellbeing priority USA HOCKEY ENFORCE YOUR RULES
Keep our children’s mental and physical wellbeing priority USA HOCKEY ENFORCE YOUR RULES
The Issue
My son started playing youth hockey at the age of 4, 9 years later he still loves the sport. However he has endured abuse, bullying, harassment, belittling and embarrassment by coaches* in front of his whole team.
His original organization he endured horrific physical abuse by other teammates during practice, even with video evidence submitted there was no repercussions to his abusers. Incidences happened in front of coaches or brought to their attention, it was laughed about or my son was told to maybe try chess.* When I escalated these concerns to the board and president numerous times over multiply separate meetings no corrective actions were taken or discussed. Furthermore it was Never reported by the organization or the safe sport coordinator to Safe sport USA Hockey or NYSAHA*. I personally had to inform USA Hockey, who informed me this was not their issue to deal with. I was also in contact with our regional director, who did not understand the seriousness of what was going on for many months. With promise from the organization that things were different, my son made the decision to return (21-22). He returned to an organization that did not want our family there, our private meeting (covered under whistleblower status, USA Hockey) was known by everyone*. Not only was my son treated poorly but as the reporting parent I was harassed and bullied by parents in the organization*. With no help from the board, the president or USA hockey. My personal life and business was affected by lies being told on a public forum*.
This past season(21-22) his teammates bullied him, example hiding his equipment before games so he wouldn’t be able to participate, said they hated having to play with him or games were better when he was not there, screaming at him for loosing the game. When brought forward to the coach I was told to stop bitching. The bulling that happened in the locker room was awful, one teammate tried to stop it and was very upset at the way my son was being treated by teammates or a few times a coach would let me know they were being brutal to him in there but that was when coaches or any adult was present in the locker room*. When I asked the coach a question about my sons “position” standing on the red line and told not to move. I was told he didn’t have to explain himself to a bitch like me*. However it’s stated, coaches have to maintain an open line of communication with your players’ parents. Explain the goals and objectives of your association. This coach also used profanity when on the bench with the children* (USA handbook page 25 coaches code of conduct). My son finally could not take the abuse any longer and quit before the end of the season.
We changed organization, hoping for better education for the coaching staff, and better handling of the board if issues did arise. The rules of what a house team is and the fair play code would be followed and response from the organization if a problem did arise. My son sat most games playing a minute or two in an hour and half game. The coach stated he did not feel as though he was not “earning” his playing time*. At the following game the coach had no choice but to play my son because of lack attendance by other players. When my son asked for his inhaler he was denied, the coach stated he would let him know when he needed it ( over 8 minutes passed between when my son asked for his inhaler and when my son went out for his next shift, when he went on the ice he was visibly struggling to breathe. The coach then waited 3 minutes after he got back to the bench to give it to him. Yelling at him to stop sucking on it like a pacifier and just take the medicine*. The next period the coach screamed at my son in front of the whole team “to look around everyone else was dripping with sweat and you are bone dry, your mommy is begging me for more ice time for you and you put in no effort. Just look at everyone else they are drenched”* My son has a medical condition, he will never sweat. ever. My son asked to leave the coach denied him. It was decided he would not continue the coach strongly suggested it would best we don’t continue with this team, the organization did not care what happened just offering a release letter of release. NYSAHA and USA Hockey did not have anything to say about this issue.
My son was called worthless, not worth playing, lucky he was played at all, screamed at for losing the game for them, bullied for his medical condition, physically abused, coaches belittling him openly and in front of his teammates, bullied him in front of his team, talked about his lack of skill in front of other teammates when coaches were speaking with me privately but not making their children sit somewhere else. Myself, a parent was publicly screamed at by a fellow parent (a coaches wife) for speaking to her husband. I was told I was ungrateful a bitch that nobody liked and that I should thank her husband for taking on my son. Another parent posted a post stating I abused my children, I politely asked her to take it down for a very important reason. She called me profanities and said no. The phone calls I have received have varied from insulting my children to calling me names, months after the hockey season was over.
What I want and have always strived for was change. Children to be treated equal and fairly in a safe environment and to have fun, the backbone of a house/ recreational team. I tried to start a mentorship program for children, a discipline program that would be fair and equal no matter who you were, writing a handbook because there was not one. I worked for change. I did this because I loved the organization that my son started at, that I played at and that my brother played at. Instead of making changes and fixing major issues (especially in my sons older division) they just would no longer let my children play there, all 4 of them. Warning other organizations of our “reputation”. So instead of punishment for the abusers the victim was blamed and made to leave. My son is not playing this year because there is nowhere for him to play, “this is a blessing in disguise he can work on sharping his skills.” A comment made by a person who is suppose to help child like mine. He has had to see a counselor because of the abuse and trauma that he received, costing us a good amount of money. He is angry, sad and confused. He doesn’t understand, “I know i am not good but why does that mean they have to hate me.” This has affected my son greatly he has a lot of trauma from this. Causing panic attacks and depression. Our family was affected because my other children were also displaced from where they played and my oldest son’s anger has affected us all, “I don’t want to be angry, I don’t want make people upset. I don’t know what to do.”
I want USA hockey to enforce house hockey rules, fair equal play for everyone no matter skill. USA hockey also needs to start taking accountability for the people they allow to be coaches, especially if they are abusive and not following the coaches code of conduct. There needs to be repercussions for these behaviors and enforcing their zero tolerance policy for both coaches players and Organizations. USA Hockey also needs to be more accessible to parents for help, after all we all have to sign up for USA hockey, and sign their code of conducts.
357
The Issue
My son started playing youth hockey at the age of 4, 9 years later he still loves the sport. However he has endured abuse, bullying, harassment, belittling and embarrassment by coaches* in front of his whole team.
His original organization he endured horrific physical abuse by other teammates during practice, even with video evidence submitted there was no repercussions to his abusers. Incidences happened in front of coaches or brought to their attention, it was laughed about or my son was told to maybe try chess.* When I escalated these concerns to the board and president numerous times over multiply separate meetings no corrective actions were taken or discussed. Furthermore it was Never reported by the organization or the safe sport coordinator to Safe sport USA Hockey or NYSAHA*. I personally had to inform USA Hockey, who informed me this was not their issue to deal with. I was also in contact with our regional director, who did not understand the seriousness of what was going on for many months. With promise from the organization that things were different, my son made the decision to return (21-22). He returned to an organization that did not want our family there, our private meeting (covered under whistleblower status, USA Hockey) was known by everyone*. Not only was my son treated poorly but as the reporting parent I was harassed and bullied by parents in the organization*. With no help from the board, the president or USA hockey. My personal life and business was affected by lies being told on a public forum*.
This past season(21-22) his teammates bullied him, example hiding his equipment before games so he wouldn’t be able to participate, said they hated having to play with him or games were better when he was not there, screaming at him for loosing the game. When brought forward to the coach I was told to stop bitching. The bulling that happened in the locker room was awful, one teammate tried to stop it and was very upset at the way my son was being treated by teammates or a few times a coach would let me know they were being brutal to him in there but that was when coaches or any adult was present in the locker room*. When I asked the coach a question about my sons “position” standing on the red line and told not to move. I was told he didn’t have to explain himself to a bitch like me*. However it’s stated, coaches have to maintain an open line of communication with your players’ parents. Explain the goals and objectives of your association. This coach also used profanity when on the bench with the children* (USA handbook page 25 coaches code of conduct). My son finally could not take the abuse any longer and quit before the end of the season.
We changed organization, hoping for better education for the coaching staff, and better handling of the board if issues did arise. The rules of what a house team is and the fair play code would be followed and response from the organization if a problem did arise. My son sat most games playing a minute or two in an hour and half game. The coach stated he did not feel as though he was not “earning” his playing time*. At the following game the coach had no choice but to play my son because of lack attendance by other players. When my son asked for his inhaler he was denied, the coach stated he would let him know when he needed it ( over 8 minutes passed between when my son asked for his inhaler and when my son went out for his next shift, when he went on the ice he was visibly struggling to breathe. The coach then waited 3 minutes after he got back to the bench to give it to him. Yelling at him to stop sucking on it like a pacifier and just take the medicine*. The next period the coach screamed at my son in front of the whole team “to look around everyone else was dripping with sweat and you are bone dry, your mommy is begging me for more ice time for you and you put in no effort. Just look at everyone else they are drenched”* My son has a medical condition, he will never sweat. ever. My son asked to leave the coach denied him. It was decided he would not continue the coach strongly suggested it would best we don’t continue with this team, the organization did not care what happened just offering a release letter of release. NYSAHA and USA Hockey did not have anything to say about this issue.
My son was called worthless, not worth playing, lucky he was played at all, screamed at for losing the game for them, bullied for his medical condition, physically abused, coaches belittling him openly and in front of his teammates, bullied him in front of his team, talked about his lack of skill in front of other teammates when coaches were speaking with me privately but not making their children sit somewhere else. Myself, a parent was publicly screamed at by a fellow parent (a coaches wife) for speaking to her husband. I was told I was ungrateful a bitch that nobody liked and that I should thank her husband for taking on my son. Another parent posted a post stating I abused my children, I politely asked her to take it down for a very important reason. She called me profanities and said no. The phone calls I have received have varied from insulting my children to calling me names, months after the hockey season was over.
What I want and have always strived for was change. Children to be treated equal and fairly in a safe environment and to have fun, the backbone of a house/ recreational team. I tried to start a mentorship program for children, a discipline program that would be fair and equal no matter who you were, writing a handbook because there was not one. I worked for change. I did this because I loved the organization that my son started at, that I played at and that my brother played at. Instead of making changes and fixing major issues (especially in my sons older division) they just would no longer let my children play there, all 4 of them. Warning other organizations of our “reputation”. So instead of punishment for the abusers the victim was blamed and made to leave. My son is not playing this year because there is nowhere for him to play, “this is a blessing in disguise he can work on sharping his skills.” A comment made by a person who is suppose to help child like mine. He has had to see a counselor because of the abuse and trauma that he received, costing us a good amount of money. He is angry, sad and confused. He doesn’t understand, “I know i am not good but why does that mean they have to hate me.” This has affected my son greatly he has a lot of trauma from this. Causing panic attacks and depression. Our family was affected because my other children were also displaced from where they played and my oldest son’s anger has affected us all, “I don’t want to be angry, I don’t want make people upset. I don’t know what to do.”
I want USA hockey to enforce house hockey rules, fair equal play for everyone no matter skill. USA hockey also needs to start taking accountability for the people they allow to be coaches, especially if they are abusive and not following the coaches code of conduct. There needs to be repercussions for these behaviors and enforcing their zero tolerance policy for both coaches players and Organizations. USA Hockey also needs to be more accessible to parents for help, after all we all have to sign up for USA hockey, and sign their code of conducts.
357
The Decision Makers
Petition created on November 14, 2022