Hi Everyday in Recovery 7 years on feels almost worse than the illness itself the constant battle of doubts and stress and anxiety. The rollercoaster of confidence which goes up and down sometimes in the space of a day. The constant regret of you talking about your feelings, insecurities which no one can be bothered to listen too. You don't believe in yourself completely so no one invests in you or believes your able to do it. You put yourself up for smaller jobs that are actually too easy for you but you don't think you could manage the stress of the whole day. I have managed 11 jobs successfully from the age of 18 to 26. I always go for short term jobs as it feels more manageable. I have been in 3 waitress jobs, admin, cleaning job, HMRC, Pound Stretcher which was 2 and half years, Cancer Research my first volunteer position served me well. Helped out with Soap Matters for a Summer job. I cry alot and release emotion, feel its abnormal as I react so badly to situations and get so stressed out. I read on the CFS school that people who have suffered from Chronic Fatigue have to re balance their para sympathatic system into a more emotional regulated state. I get extremely emotional and cry for most of the day maybe once a week and can't seem to stop. Little things annoy me or make me upset, which is part of getting over the emotional part if the illness. I am in third year of University and have to balance rest, stress, anxiety and workload and friendships and time for myself also usually a part time job. I had a part time job in first year and 2nd and part of third year then I stopped working for the lady Debbie Williams as she treated me so badly- wrote scathing emails to my University even if you have autism and 4 other conditions it is no excuse. I have had three friends fall out with me and having had a chronic illness friendships are hard to manage as sometimes you just feel emotionally drained trying to please people and be there all the time. I have learnt its okay to not constantly message your friends they will still be there 3 weeks later to meet up even if you don't message for a week its okay. I had a period when I had no friends for 2 years I had about 4 birthdays from the age of 18 to 21 I think when I only had my mum and dad to come to my Birthday I would think of all my age group with their boyfriends and 10 friends going on holiday or having huge house parties. My middle brother certainty got all that I did get invited once or twice. He also went on all the school trips Canada twice and French Exchange twice even although he hates french and cant even speak it. He made 3 friends from that and It wasn't fair and a million others abroad everyone always seemed to love him but I realise now that wasn't relistic to think that. I loved French a lot! I wanted to go on the student exchange trip surfing for 2 hours, beach days and shopping. I saw everyone who went on the tip it looked amazing. I was in many different groups on in high school and never seemed to think I fitted in I have maybe made that mistake since. I wish I had had that I missed the prom at High school only one friend to rely on. Barely knew half my new year. Then I left school had to find my way at least I had a supportive family who could help me out and lift me up.