Caring for him in his absence

I have been caring for my younger son from birth and there have been no problems with my care of him. He has been living with me and I have been responsible for his day-to-day care.

My younger son's school and teachers currently have no concerns about me or my care of him. I understand that, if appropriate, relevant information from his school could potentially help demonstrate my current circumstances and the way I have been caring for my child.

I would like my current parenting circumstances to be considered alongside the historical social-services records, including what I was told by the social worker in Romford in 2014.

My main aim is to establish my son's whereabouts, understand what happened to him, and ultimately seek for him to live with me, subject to the court's assessment of his welfare and circumstances.

I have continued to celebrate my son’s birthday every year, even though he has not been with me.

I have celebrated his birthdays with family and friends because I have never forgotten him and have always considered him to be part of our family. I have photographs from these celebrations which show that I have continued to remember him and mark his birthday each year.

I can provide the original photographs and any other information I have about the celebrations to my solicitor if they are relevant to the proceedings.

I have also continued to buy things for my son when buying things for my younger son and have sent parcels to him when I knew where he was living.

I want these things to be considered as part of the wider evidence of my continuing relationship, care and commitment towards my son.

My current home is suitable for my son to live with me. If he comes to live with me, I am also prepared to move to a three-bedroom property so that he can have his own bedroom and greater privacy as he gets older

My main concern is my son’s welfare, safety, happiness and long-term wellbeing. I am not asking the court to make arrangements based simply on what I want as his mother. I want the court to consider what my son needs now and what will give him the opportunity to have a safe, stable and loving family life.

My son is now 12 years old, and I understand that his age, feelings, views, education, emotional wellbeing and individual needs are very important. I want him to be listened to properly and for his wishes and feelings to be understood without pressure from either parent.

I believe my son needs:

a safe and stable home;

consistent day-to-day care and routines;

emotional security and reassurance;

support with his education and school life;

appropriate clothing, food, healthcare and other everyday needs;

privacy and age-appropriate personal space;

a loving relationship with his family;

the opportunity to know and develop relationships with his brothers;

to understand that he is loved and wanted;

support to deal with any emotional impact caused by the separation and the circumstances of his childhood;

adults around him who put his needs before their own disagreements.

I am able and willing to provide these things for him. I have continued to care for his younger brother from birth and have provided a stable home and day-to-day care. I can provide evidence of this, including information from his school and other appropriate professionals.

I have a home where my son can live safely and comfortably. I will make sure that he has everything he needs, including food, clothing, school supplies, a suitable place to sleep, privacy and emotional support. If his needs change as he gets older, I am prepared to make reasonable changes to our home and living arrangements so that those needs continue to be met.

I also want my son to have a relationship with his brothers. They have a relationship with each other that I believe should be considered carefully because sibling relationships can be important to a child’s welfare.

I have never stopped caring about my son. I have remembered his birthdays, celebrated him with our family, kept photographs and tried to maintain a connection with him despite not knowing where he was or being able to have the relationship with him that I wanted.

If my son has experienced disruption, separation or difficulties in his life, I want to support him rather than put additional pressure on him. I would be willing to work with professionals and follow any recommendations that help him settle safely and emotionally into a relationship with me.

I would not want my son to feel that he has to choose between parents or that he is responsible for the adults' disagreements. I want him to feel safe expressing his own feelings and know that I will listen to him.

My request is therefore based on what I believe my son needs: safety, stability, love, family connection, education, emotional support and a secure home. I ask that the court considers the evidence about my ability to provide those things and, most importantly, listens to my son and considers his individual circumstances, wishes and feelings.