I'm not sure which part of that incident haunts me the most. The fact that I reported it to a federal probation officer who did absolutely nothing. The fact that this man insulted someone I deeply loved and cared about after she had taken her own life...after I had seen clear evidence, including photos, that he had manipulated a vulnerable woman struggling with mental health issues and an eating disorder. The disgusting way he spoke about his own wife. Or the cold, predatory manner in which he cornered me that day, leaving me frozen, unable to react, stunned by his chilling stillness as he encircled his target into temporary submission. The questions he asked, the way he hinted (almost gloating) about other things he had gotten away with. It wasn't just the graphic pornography of private sexual acts that he showed me without warning; it was the casual, aggressive insertion of his male dominance into an innocent situation. His language was profoundly disturbing not mere profanity, but the way he spoke about women as if they were nothing more than objects for his gratification.I am still deeply traumatized by how he cornered me on the sidewalk, staring me down like a predator, warning me with icy calm not to tell anyone. That moment retraumatized me, triggering childhood PTSD from a nearly identical threat. I had sworn that would never happen to me again and yet, five years ago, it did. It was the last thing I needed: to be derailed by a dark-triad personality.
Since then, I have found myself obsessively studying these personality traits again, as I once did in college. As a psychology graduate from William & Mary, it's far easier to analyze such disorders in the safe bubble of academia than to experience them in real life especially when you're unprepared for their notorious pattern of disarming "love b*mbing," extreme glib charm, followed by the adrenaline-rush moment: whether exposing themselves, brazenly showing unwanted graphic sexual images (I was raised Italian; I'm not prudish about the human body what I object to is unsolicited graphic pornography of intensely disturbing nature), or casually exposing himself in my personal workspace in broad daylight.
I was in shock. I could not believe that, after years of rebuilding myself following a serious assault in 2017 that left me hospitalized, another entitled man had taken a simple, innocent request (in this case: who did your internet setup, we here at the Theatre would love that!) and twisted it into something I will never forget and not in a good way.
I am one hundred percent certain that if I had done anything remotely similar...showing up uninvited to someone's workplace and behaving in an aggressively sexual manner...I would be in jail right now.
His actions were utterly disrespectful to my efforts, deeply demeaning, and the way this has been handled has left me feeling utterly diminished, as though I have no rights at all. Am I still living in the early 1900s?
I am sickened by what this man has been allowed to get away with. It has become one of my missions to uncover how many victims he has and the full range of his predatory behavior: from women who cleaned his bathrooms, to another artist he pretended to "mentor" only to later expose himself without warning.
He does this to women of all ages. Raised in the theatre community, I have recordings of interviews with furious mothers whose daughters he repeatedly tried to enter dressing room areas during or after performances/recitals.
This man must be held accountable not only for what he did to me, but on principle alone. I worked incredibly hard to build my photography boutique into a success, and his grossly inappropriate actions forced me to flee to Florida. Since then, I haven't been able to spend more than an hour in Cape Charles without flashbacks or fear that he might be nearby.
I was here first. I was raised here. I was part of this town long before the wealthy newcomers arrived. Back then, the community had far more character and genuine concern for people who were hurting. It wasn't perfect, but behavior like this would have been called out for what it was: rude, inappropriate, and frightening. His behavior was the final straw for me, and ya know what? I've kind of become a mean person myself because of it at times.
One thing I cannot fully wrap my mind around is how many survivors have chosen not to come forward or file a formal report. Those who did were often dismissed outright, yet even so, they would have created crucial documentation. Why can't more people see that we are so much stronger together?I understand how painful it is (I truly do) but pretending these incidents never happened only allows someone else to be hurt later. My own report was made in 2020. Had it been taken seriously and acted upon, there would be one less deeply depressed person in the 23310 zip code today, spared from an incident that occurred years afterward because nothing was done to stop him.
While I deeply empathize with every survivor and it is never my intention to guilt anyone into speaking out, as that is not in my nature I simply cannot let this kind of predatory behavior slide, even when it terrifies me to my core.
I have heard so many heartbreaking reasons for staying silent: “I need to protect my family,” “I don’t want to be known forever as the woman who survived him...no one does,” or “Speaking out would destroy my mental health.” I understand those fears completely. Yet it breaks my heart that the woman who courageously reported the most serious offense a man can commit against a woman...the one who endured the full trauma of the police process and investigation many many years ago...still saw nothing come of it. Where is her dignity in all this? What an absolute blasphemy against justice and against every woman he has harmed.
I truly hope that one day, all those impacted by this man will connect the dots and truly hear me when I say this: the only way his actions will finally be taken seriously is if multiple people come forward at the same time, reporting what happened to them and when.That volume of consistent, overlapping accounts cannot be ignored or dismissed.
I've heard so many people say things like, “Good job spearheading this!” or “We truly applaud your efforts!” as if I actually enjoy any part of this. I do not enjoy it one bit. I am a victim here; I should never have been the one forced to take this on. It causes me real pain to keep pushing forward...please don’t underestimate that. How I wish someone who wasn’t personally harmed by this man would step up and do what I’m trying to do. But those people rarely exist. So please, spare me the polite pat on the back, the “wow, what a good job” followed by turning away and doing nothing. If you truly cared, you would be the one reaching out to others, gathering testimonies, helping organize a Jane Doe civil suit, and ensuring this man never believes he can get away with this behavior again. You would be advocating yourself or working to bring real advocates into our community to take action. If you’ve known about his actions for a long time, why are you still choosing silence? Are you so conditioned by the old Virginia expectation that women remain quiet and docile that staying silent still feels like the safest, or only, response?
Btw:
The Dark Triad is a concept in psychology that refers to three interrelated but distinct personality traits:narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy (at subclinical, non-pathological levels). These traits are considered "dark" because they involve malevolent qualities like manipulation, self-centeredness, emotional coldness, duplicity, and a lack of empathy. The term was coined in 2002 by psychologists Delroy Paulhus and Kevin Williams.
For the sake of repetition and in case this is the first petition update you're reading:
I am sharing my experience to highlight a pattern of sexual harassment, threats, and deliberate inaction by municipal authorities that has profoundly affected my life, business, and sense of safety.
What Happened:
The incident occurred five years ago, but its impact has lasted ever since. While working in Cape Charles running a licensed photography business on Strawberry Street I was subjected to aggressive, inappropriate, and traumatizing behavior by a local male resident and business owner across the street. He repeatedly inserted graphic sexual behavior, intimidation, and verbal degradation into situations that were otherwise completely innocent and professional.
Some of the actions included:
Entering my office uninvited and exposing himself in the middle of the day.
Displaying graphic sexual images and pornography in a casual, threatening manner.
Asking deeply invasive and disturbing questions, often hinting at other behaviors he had “gotten away with.”
Cornering me on the sidewalk, threatening me to remain silent, and retraumatizing me due to prior PTSD experiences.
Making offensive, degrading remarks about women and his own spouse, demonstrating a sense of entitlement and disregard for basic human respect.
This was not a one-time occurrence. Based on my observations, personal investigation, and conversations with others, this individual has repeatedly harmed women in the community over many years. His behavior is predatory and opportunistic, targeting women of all ages, from employees to artists, to theater performers and their families.
Impact on My Life and Business:
My photography business, which I built with thousands of dollars of investment and years of effort, was directly sabotaged by this harassment.
I felt forced to relocate to Florida, abandoning the business and community I had worked so hard to contribute to.
I continue to experience flashbacks and fear whenever I return to Cape Charles, even briefly.
My trust in local authorities has been profoundly shaken. Despite multiple reports (including to federal probation officers and local law enforcement) my valid fears were dismissed as “non-reportable,” leaving a predator free to continue harmful behavior.
Why Municipal Accountability Matters:
This is not just a personal violation; it is a systemic issue. The town’s repeated failure to act demonstrates deliberate indifference to credible threats, potentially violating 42 U.S.C. § 1983 and the Fourteenth Amendment, which obligate municipalities to protect residents from known risks of harm.
Survivors should not have to fear retaliation or dismissal when reporting sexual harassment or assault. The town’s inaction enables predators and endangers the community.
Call to Action:
The town must acknowledge these reports and take concrete steps to ensure sexual harassment and assault reports are investigated seriously.
Policies must be updated to provide trauma-informed, survivor-centered procedures that protect residents.
Predatory behavior that threatens the safety and livelihoods of community members must be addressed, and perpetrators held accountable.
I share this update to ensure that no other resident experiences what I have experienced.
It’s likely this won’t be the first sexual assault or harassment case a woman has faced, and this individual may very well be the straw that breaks the next camel’s back, as it did for me. Sexual violence against women is shockingly common: according to the CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS), over 45% of women in the United States experience contact sexual violence in their lifetime, and more than 1 in 5 women will experience completed or attempted rape in their lives. Nearly half of women also report unwanted sexual contact or harassment at some point, and most first victimizations occur before age 25. These figures show that sexual violence is far from rare...it is a widespread public health and safety issue that too often goes unreported, dismissed, or inadequately investigated.
Why these are strong stats
45.1% lifetime contact sexual violence: Nearly half of U.S. women report experiencing some form of contact sexual violence in their lives.
1 in 5 women raped or sexually assaulted: Over 20% of women will experience rape (completed or attempted) during their lifetime.
Most first experiences occur young: A large proportion of survivors first experience violence before age 25.
While many women experience at least one incident of sexual violence, a significant portion faces multiple situations throughout their lives. Comprehensive data suggests that many women encounter dozens of sexual crimes across their lifespan.
Key Statistics on Lifetime Frequency
Average Lifetime Incidents: A UK study involving over 22,000 women found that, on average, a woman will be subjected to at least 26 sexual crimes in her lifespan. Roughly 13 incidents typically occur before age 18, and another 13 occur after age 18.
Revictimization Rates: Among those who have experienced sexual assault, a high percentage face repeat incidents.78.3% of survivors in some clinical studies reported being revictimized at least once.
National data indicates that roughly 15.8% of sexual assault victims in the U.S. experienced two or more victimizations between 2005 and 2014.
For women raped by an intimate partner, 51.2% reported being victimized multiple times by that same partner, with an average of 4.5 rapes per victim.
Lifetime Prevalence by Type of Situation:
Sexual violence includes a spectrum of situations beyond rape, such as unwanted contact and harassment:
Sexual Harassment or Assault: Approximately 81% to 82% of women report experiencing some form of sexual harassment or assault in their lifetime.
Contact Sexual Violence: More than half (54.3%) of women have experienced contact sexual violence, which includes unwanted sexual touching or non-penetrative contact.
Sexual Coercion: About 1 in 6 women (16.1%) report experiencing sexual coercion, such as being pressured or worn down into sexual activity.
Attempted or Completed Rape: Between 1 in 4 and 1 in 6 women experience attempted or completed rape during their lives.
These statistics reflect prevalence, not isolated incidents, and are drawn from nationally representative surveys.
Don't believe me? Google: how many sexual assault situations does a woman face in her life (not necessarily rape)