David Brent is more than an adequate sales representative. He's a prophet of our times, and his message is free love and world-changing respect for disableds. His band Foregone Conclusion are potentially the best UK export since Leo Sayer.

Australia may already be the home of tolerance and respect, but we still need schooling by the best teacher the world has seen.

David Brent, please don't let our distance from Slough be a foregone conclusion. Come to the continent where pelicans are in abundance and where the citizenry say 'Thank Fuck It's Friday' on Wednesday.